Rest In Peace

Dreamsicle's favorite Uncle passed away last night. One of the unintended consequences of older parenting is the sad fact that our girl has to watch people that she loves leave. Not forever, she will be reunited with them all again in Heaven one day but right now it hurts like heck. Please keep Aunt Genious in your prayers. She and her husband have been together some crazy number of years since they started dating when Aunt Genious was just a toddler. Just kidding-I know they have been together a long time though and to lose your life partner at such an early age must be devastating. His passing wasn't a surprise but one of the things that I am taking comfort in right now is that Dreamsicle and I had stopped by their house earlier in the week. He was lucid and was able to spend a few minutes with her. She was able to tell him that she loved him and when she left his room he had a big smile on his face. I'm glad that she has the picture of him in her mind, heck-I'm glad that Aunt Genious and I have that picture in our minds as well. Dreamsicle keeps telling me that she has to see Aunt Genious so that she can hug her and kiss her and make her feel all better. I wish it was that easy baby girl.

Mother's Day

Dreamsicle attends preschool three afternoons a week. She has been all hush-hush, whisper-whisper, giggle-giggle with McGyver telling me that she has a BBBBIIIIGGGG surprise for me. Yesterday I walked in the door of our house and she started yelling/instructing me to "close my eeeeyyyyyeeeess". I dutifully obeyed and I heard her tearing through paper with McGyver whispering to her that Mommy's present was supposed to be opened by Mommy. I was allowed to open my eyes and was given a beautiful four year old hand made stepping stone. I love it. She made one last year in preschool as well so now I have a pair of them. They are simply priceless. Her preschool teacher also had a series of questions that she asked the children to answer. She wrote the answers down and laminated the paper. This is how Dreamsicle answered her questions...

What do you like your mom to do? Cook

What is your mom best at? Showers

Your mom is so smart, she even knows: Me!

Love that kid, absolutely adore her. Happy Mother's Day to all of you Mother's out there.

Today I Am Thankful

For a husband who loves me without question

Boys who are strong, confident and making their own way

A daughter in love who loves my son unconditionally

A grandson who is healthy and by all reports, smart as a whip

A daughter that still thinks I hung the moon and the stars just for her pleasure

The terrific group of people that I get to surround myself with each day that I step foot into my office

Hope for the future

Did She Say That?

Can't keep my hands off of the keyboard today apparently. I can't let the whole Ji**ian M*chaels comments go without addressing them.
I have watched the Bigg*st Los*er season after season. I always felt that Ji**ian was tough but seemed to be able to motivate people in situations that others couldn't. To say that I am completely disenchanted with her now would be an understatement. For someone in her position to throw it out there that she has decided to not give birth to a child because she couldn't do that to her body is bad enough but when add on top of that her statement regarding adoption and my eyeballs are about ready to pop out of my head.

Ms. Michaels, we don't adopt to "rescue" babies. We don't adopt because nothing gives us a better feeling than the feeling of having "rescued" someone. Each family has their own personal reasons for choosing to grow their families through adoption but I can assure you that no one that I know made that choice just to get that high feeling from rescuing someone. I beg you, if you are serious that you want to start a family some day, that you research what it means to bring a child into your home through adoption. You owe it to the prospective child to be educated, prepared, and emotionally capable of loving that child before you even think of having your first home study visit.

Stepping off my soapbox now.

Questions, Lots and Lots of Questions

Mama, I have questions. Lots and lots of questions. That is how Dreamsicle starts most of her conversations with me these days. She is completely drawn to her adoption story right now. I tell her the story surrounding how she came to be a part of our family at least 3 times a day. She is starting to struggle with the whole "first mom, first dad" thing and why they couldn't keep her portion due to our inability to tell her why. We don't believe in making up a scenario so we just keep it real and tell her we don't know why. That is a huge concept for an almost five year old to try to grasp. Any other why question she has we can give her an answer to thanks to Mr Internet but that one has no magic answer waiting behind the screen to suddenly appear. We went out to dinner two nights ago and there was a sweet little baby sitting at the next table with blonde hair and big blue eyes. She was excitedly waving at the baby and this is what came out of her mouth "Hi baby, oh look-you are so cute. Hey-wait a minute. Why do you have white hair. Did you just come home from China? Is that why?"
Hmmmm-me thinks we still have a ways to go...

In other news-to the little girls parents that are obviously talking about my daughter in front of their daughter who happens to be in the same preschool class as Dreamsicle. The next time you want to say something to the effect that my daughter just needs to go back to China where she belongs-be adult enough to say those words to me-her mama. The person that will tear you to shreds with words. You've done enough damage to my girl through yours.

PSA To My Family

Dear loving boys whom I birthed and help shape into the wonderful men that you are today and your itty bitty sister whom I am still in the process of shaping...

Mother's Day is fast approaching and your mamma is hankering for some new gizmo's. Due to the unfortunate "wine incident of 2007" your mamma's cool as heck camera no longer works, nor does the throw in your purse replacement camera that your daddy thought would be an equal substitute for said cool as heck camera (which we all know-not so much). One mamma with no camera does not for a happy house make. Your mamma is also itching for an I*P*d. Think of all of the things it can do/replace to make your mamma happy and more streamlined while traveling with aforementioned itty bitty sister.

So there you go-two options in case you were thinking that flowers were just too much work. :)

Love from your mamma

Weekend Update

I spent yesterday cleaning the house-including Dreamsicle's play room and bedroom. We sorted everything into separate bins/boxes so that they would be easier to find. She helped me out quite a bit so today she has been "rediscovering" all of her toys. This rediscovery led to about 20 minutes of panic this afternoon when she decided that she should "wear" one of her large wooden beads on her finger. Half of a bottle of dish soap later we finally got her "ring" off of her poor swollen finger.

I would like to ask for prayers for McGyver's sister as she wrestles with some hard decisions regarding her husband.

I spent the majority of the day today at a CCW class. When I got home McGyver had done all of our laundry! It sure made for a much more relaxing evening than I was anticipating.

Now I'm just chilling, getting myself geared up for a busy week this week as we build the files for our new clients.

Good Day Sunshine

After two years of business he** I am finally seeing the light. We have been blessed with some new business that promises to help give us the leg up financially that we have so desperately needed and there is more in the pipeline. Happy, happy day!

Add to that the phone call I just received letting me know that our medical billing and coding certification courses are going to be offered summer semester at the local college and I am really looking forward to this spring/summer season!

Spring!

The weather has been beautiful here all week. I stopped by the drugstore to pick up some vitamins and they had a TON of Easter goodies on sale. Suffice it to say that our girl will be having a "hopping" good time opening up her Easter Basket this weekend.

I love this time of year. Everything is new, baby animals are everywhere-such a time of renewed hope that comes along with Easter.

But I do have to share a couple of little funnies that have happened lately. The snow has finally melted at Casa de la Dreamsicle which means that our chickens are running free. Everywhere. Including onto our deck (yes McGyver is fully aware that as much as I love my chickens they must be contained in some manner so that I am not forced to dodge chicken droppings on my way into the house this summer). Anyway-this past weekend Dreamsicle and I were sitting at the kitchen table when heard a peck-peck-pecking sound on the french doors. Imagine our surprise when we turned around to be greeted by 15 pair of chicken eyes staring into the house watching us!

In other fowl news-our office is in the city. I was completely taken by surprise this morning when I pulled into our parking lot to be greeted by a HUGE swan that looked at me like it couldn't figure out if it wanted to peck me or run for its life.

Today

This morning I woke up early. I had to stand on my tiptoes to pull down the box that I keep safely hidden deep within my closet. Surrounded by the darkness, I reached into the box and pulled out the plastic ziplock bag. Oh so carefully, I opened the seal slightly, held the bag containing one tiny little boys outfit to my nose and inhaled. I resealed the bag quickly, the scent is so faint now that I'm not certain that it is still even there. But it has to be there. Even if it is only in my head. I held the bag tightly to my chest and let silent tears fall onto it. Just as quick as I pulled the box down, I placed it back into its hiding spot.

This morning I came into the office. I had to stand on my tiptoes to hug Chester. I breathed in his scent and let silent tears fall onto his chest.

March 24th 1987, the day our world tilted. March 24th 2010, the day we remember our sweet boy. We grieve for our loss still and thank God that we still have Chester. One day, they will be together again for all time and eternity, as will our whole family. Maybe I should rephrase that. One day, our family will once again be made whole.

Rest in peace Angel Baby

Weekend

This weekend we had absolutely nothing planned. It provided me with a much needed opportunity to scrub my house and catch up on my mountains of laundry. Dreamsicle and I spent alot of time cleaning her room and play room. I think we have about one more month before she disowns us as her parents if we don't decide on a paint color for her room. I often have to remind myself that my little sprite is only four. Seriously. She tells me that her room is "boring" and it needs to be 'jazzed up". I am thinking of decorating her room in a beach theme so McGyver has some big work ahead of him (I refuse to pay for the types of decorations I want for her room when McGyver can make them for me-think surfboards, wooden flip flops, etc).
Lots of stuff to keep us busy in the coming month!

C'mon Spring!

The sun is shining today. I actually left for work this morning and it was daylight! It is so strange how much winter and the ick that goes with it sucks the lifeblood out of people. Today I feel happy, hopeful and energized. If I keep this up, I'll be unstoppable by the time Summer gets here (yeah right). McGyver and I spent a weekend away with some friends. We had a great time. It was so good to relax and reconnect. I was able to indulge and get a massage and even snuck in a nap. It was awesome. We were at a Safari Club annual meeting where they hold an auction as a fund raiser. They auction things like hunts and fishing expeditions. The end of the night they had a surprise item-a fur coat. McGyver knows how much I suffer in the winter-I can't ever seem to get warm-he ended up being the successful bidder and I won the coat! It is beautiful, something I would never purchase for myself, but oh so roasty, toasty warm. I know I have followers that would probably just as soon throw paint on my coat, but be happy for me-no more freezing in the Mitten State for me! Yippee!

Update

Taffy+Teeth=$$$$.$$

Wow. Say bye-bye to any extras for awhile in the McGyver home.

Taffy+Teeth=Ouch!

I brought home an assortment of candy from Savannah to give to our office team. One of the things I purchased was taffy. Oh the yummy goodness of Savannah taffy. I popped a piece into my mouth yesterday and was met with a resounding "crunch" from the inside of my mouth. It appears as if I broke my tooth while enjoying the treat. Headed to the dentist today. That is going to turn out to be one expensive piece of candy.

Don't Try This At Home

I am very blessed to work with a group of people who know me pretty well. Thank goodness. I took two of the ladies I work with to a lunch meeting with me. I drove. All went well until we were leaving the restaurant in my car. I hate the inconvenience a purse causes in the passenger leg area of any car. I try to be respectful of that leg area, considering it the personal space of the passenger. This always causes a problem for me because I am then left with the dilemna of just where the heck I should place my purse. I thought I had a solution-I held my purse aloft until I shut the door then placed my purse next to my door. Things went pretty well until we turned onto the service road to get out to the expressway. Apparently while holding my purse "aloft" I somehow managed to get the strap of my purse to wrap around the gear shift located on my steering column without me being aware of it. Needless to say the turning of the steering wheel caused the purse strap to wind around the steering wheel until it was so tight that I could not steer the car. This became an immediate problem since it happened so fast that we were left stuck in the opposite lane with me yelling to the two people with me "OMG Help me!" After much unwinding we were able to dislodge the purse from the gear shift and proceed along our merry way. Suffice it to say that I am guessing I won't be the one driving to the next meeting...

Dreams vs Reality

I am a dreamer. Especially when it comes to my family. Ever since I was a little girl I would envision in my head just exactly how a planned event would go. Trouble with being a dreamer and having the outcome of events planned in your head ahead of time is that the dream and the reality rarely have the same ending.

I am selfish. Especially when it comes to my family. I simply cannot get enough face time with my husband and my kids. I want to be around them as much as possible. I love my McGyver tribe. Trouble with being selfish with your family is that there are times when that selfishness doesn't fit with the rest of the fam's plans.

**Sigh**I need to learn to be more fluid. 2010 is teaching me that already.

Bizzy

This is a short week for me. Today, tomorrow and Wednesday I am in the office. Thursday I hop a plane to Savannah for a conference where I will be able to hug my U*Haul, Pixie and Lil Pea since they are going to spend the weekend in the hotel with me. Plans are being made for us to hook up with my wonderful Aunt S and Uncle H who also live down there. I am beside myself with anticipation. Over the course of the next two days in the office I have some pretty important things to accomplish though so wish me luck. We are working in conjuction with our local community college developing a coding and billing certification. They are so hyped about this idea that they want to begin offering it an entire semester sooner than I was expecting. Which means I need to complete the Syllabus and Course Objectives for four courses in two days. Woo-hoo fun times peeps! On top of that, we need to revamp our marketing material and I had given myself a deadline of Wednesday to have the layout to the printer. Hmmm, something tells me that my insomnia may just come in handy for once.

Just a few words of wisdom I wish to dole out to those of you that have small children. When Daddy is choosing a show to watch, perhaps he should really read the description of the show before the show begins. Last night he tuned in to watch the I Should Not Have Survived show. The show dealt with a ship sinking and the ship's crew having to take shelter in a dinghy during a terrible storm. Suffice it to say that there were sharks involved and not all of the people had a happy ending. Dreamsicle watched the whole show-asking solid questions, not acting upset. Until it was time to go to bed. Every five minutes for the next three hours were spent putting her back to bed, reassuring her that there were no sharks in her bedroom. Every. five. minutes. We are heading to Myrtle Beach early this summer, any one care to wager whether or not my daughter will even stick a toe in the ocean?

Mrs McGyver's Follies

Allow me to regale you with my ongoing feats of athleticism, coordination and down right good luck.

McGyver and I recently traveled to Las Vegas for a conference. I was feeling quite sassy with the outfit I was wearing. I had a strand of faux pearls around my neck and was completely taken by surprise when out of the blue the pearls string broke, strewing pearls everywhere. My first reaction was to bend down and attempt to pick the pearls up. It soon became apparent that it would be easier to herd cats and McGyver advised that I cease my effort in futility and move on. It was quite comical to see all of the other travelers racing to pick the pearls up though-evidently they thought the pearls would be more comfortable in the pockets of their jeans as I watched people scoop them up and quickly place them in their pants-not ever trying to give them to me. I take comfort in the thought that if they thought they were real, they will be quite surprised when they take them to a jeweler.

I managed to spill beverages or food on myself no less than four times in a three day period.

We stayed at the Wynn but the conference was at Caesars Palace. Our plan was to walk to and from the conference every day. Great idea gone bad. I ended up having to purchase a pair of tennis shoes by the second day-apparently sassy high heels and my feet do not like each other when I attempt to walk long distances. And I swear that the tennis shoes had nothing to do with the countless times I tripped while wearing my high heels during the course of the first day.

I think for our next trip I may invest in a good pair of flats, plan to wear all black to hide spills and be jewelry free. On second thought-another strand of pearls could lead to some free entertainment...

Choices

We received our form last week to register Dreamsicle for kindergarten round up. At first I thought I was just a little sad-still not believing that my little girl is almost old enough to start school. Then I really started to examine what my gut was telling me. Dreamsicle has made such huge progress in the last 3 years but it is becoming more and more apparent that she has some delays. I had a long discussion with her preschool teacher who totally feels the same way. Dreamsicle is very bright but the delays she is overcoming are pretty significant in the context of school. We have made the decision to wait one more year for her to start kindergarten. It looks as if my daughter will be a professional preschooler having gone through the three year old program, and will be repeating the four year old program again next year. I know it is the right thing to do but it makes me so sad. It is going to take me a while to process my feelings about this.

Comments in Chinese

Sooooo, apparently I have someone in China that can get through the whole "must be registered to leave comments" deal. I so rarely get comments *yes people this means you* I know you are reading but you all SELDOM comment. I'm just saying...Oops-sorry, lost track of my point. Anyway as I was saying, I so rarely get comments that I get a little shaky and excited when I actually see that someone has actually taken the time to comment. Imagine my disappointment when the comment I see is half written in Chinese and half in English. From the English words I could tell that it wasn't such a nice comment. My last post got another comment-this time all in Chinese so I have no idea what it says but I deleted it just in case it was in the not so nice category again. Sigh.

I Won't Be Asking X*Boy To Decorate A Room...

We have a routine down during the week where McGyver, X*boy and I take turns going in to the office late. This allows us to get Dreamsicle where she needs to go for the day (either day care or pre school) Yesterday was X*Boy's turn to take her to school. I always set her clothes out the night before so that I know that she matches. When class is over for the day, all of the people picking their kids up kind of loiter in the hallway just outside the classroom. Imagine my shock when Dreamsicle came around the corner dressed in a cute little bright red paisley top and a pair of pastel horizontal striped leggings, one size too small! Apparently there was a mishap in the morning involving chocolate milk and the solid red yoga pants that she was supposed to wear so between the two of them, they thought the pants they chose were "perfect" for the top. Note to self from now on...always have an alternative outfit laying out just in case...

Goodbye 2009!

As far as the McGyver family is concerned, 2009 could not be over soon enough. For a year that began with much promise, it ended up being one of the biggest ickfests we have ever experienced. Thankfully with each new day comes a new opportunity-the same holds true for each new year. We start 2010 off with hope in our hearts and our eyes looking towards the future.

Holidays

The past few weeks have flown by. Between work, family and Christmas there does not seem to be enough time to just sit down and blog. Suffice it to say that Christmas was a blast. When Dreamsicle came out to the living room and saw all of the presents she asked when the other kids were going to get here. I asked her what kids she was talking about and she proceeded to tell me that she thought that she and Lil Pea would each get one present and the other gifts were waiting for other kids so that they could each have one present also. You should have seen her face when she finally understood that ALL of the presents were for her and Lil Pea. I received a Wii and Wii Fit as my gift. We have been having absolute giggle fests as we watch big old McGyver attempt to "show us how it is done" as he tries to snowboard. I KO'd him in boxing so I'm pretty happy. LOL. U*Haul, Pixie and Lil Pea will be here until Saturday so I'm loving on them while I can.

Christmas Photo

May your Christmas be filled with family, food and fun. From our House to yours-Merry Christmas.

I Should Be Sad

We received word today that my grandmother passed away. I should be sad. The truth is, I hardly knew her. She was my paternal grandmother. I believe that she and my mama didn't see eye to eye over the years so we didn't visit with her much. I really think when it comes right down to it she was bat-shit crazy. This is the grandmother that wore hot pants and multi colored clogs while walking down mainstreet during the middle of the annual 4th of July parade. She wasn't in the parade-just wandering freely while the parade took place around her. This is also the same grandma that showed up one day to my place of employment. Back in the day I was a qualifier for a membership type vacation seller. If you received one of our letters in your mailbox and agreed to take a tour of our property, you could win all sorts of valuable prizes. Things like toasters and quilts and emergency radios. She received one of the letters, she slipped by me and one of my co-workers pre-qualifed her so she was eligible to take a tour of the property. You should have seen the excitement on the salesman's face when he returned to the common area and ran to get the "closer". The big boss that finalized the contracts when someone agreed to purchase a membership. The salesman was new and this was his first "Eagle" contract (big membership, big commission). Whenever someone sold an "Eagle" membership everyone would gather in the common area and clap, making the purchaser feel like a rock star. Only trouble was that when I walked in there and realized that we would be hooting and hollering for my grandmother I think I turned three shades of pale. She had no money. She was happily signing on the dotted line when I pulled the closer to the side. He confronted my grandma about this slight exagerration and she told him she just wanted to get her quilt.

I would love to be able to remember my grandma as an eccentric loving old woman, but she wasn't. That is what makes me sad.

What A Good Day

U*Haul, Pixie and Lil Pea arrived safely at our house yesterday. Pixie has a friend that loves to take photos as a hobby (but really Good Golly Miss Molly, you should do this as a business) so she was gracious enough to agree to snap some photos of the family today outside. We had a great time. She let me look at the photos through the view finder of her camera and from what I saw I think she really captured the essence of the McGyver family. Look for photos in the mailbox closest to you soon. (that is if I know you in real life, that would be kinda creepy if a photo of my fam showed up in random people who read this blog mailboxes)

After the photo shoot Pixie and I made rice krispie treats, fudge, peanut butter cups and pumpkin bread. Brownies, Gingerbread, Christmas Cookies and Chocolate drops are on the agenda for tomorrow after church.

I have been following a fellow blogger for over a year now. She has decided to post a drink recipe every day for the 12 days leading up to Christmas. I don't have permission to link to her blog but trust me when I say that she has some stellar recipes. She introduced me to home made grenadine and really sold me on the difference that using fresh juices for the drinks make. Can I just say yummmmmm? I decided to give her Cosmopolitan a try tonight. If there are any spelling errors in this post, I blame her.

Back on the U*Haul family topic for a moment-Pixie swore me to secrecy when they decided to come home after we cancelled our Disney trip because she wanted to surprise her mom. She and U*Haul have probably arrived at her family Christmas party by now-U*Haul is planning on taping her mom's reaction when the three of them show up unannounced to the party. How fun is that?

Which Came First, The Chicken Or The Egg?

Heck if I know but I thought it was a catchy little title since this post is devoted to chickens! Yep, chickens! McGyver is convinced that 2012 will see the end of civilization as we know it (as for me, I'm all about knowing exactly where my food comes from) so we took the plunge and purchased 15 chickens and one rooster. I have to tell you-I am in love. These crazy little chickens all have their own personality and the rooster is a sweetheart. They are so curious, it's like having 16 dogs follow you around. McGyver and Chester were working in the pole barn last night and the chickens all ended up in there with them because they had to check out what was going on out there. If I leave and come back, they all come running out to my car to greet me. They are laying eggs like crazy so if you invite me to a get together, you should pretty much plan on me bring deviled eggs. LOL

Oooh Baby It's Cold Outside

Don't make me! Those are the words that are screaming inside my head at the thought of having to go outside. It is extremely cold outside. The weather people had been forecasting a blizzard for days but I don't think that what we are experiencing is that extreme. Don't get me wrong, it is cold and snowy but I don't think it is blizzardy. That is a fun word, isn't it? Blizzardy. Heh.

Anyway, I rode into the office with McGyver in the pre-heated truck this morning and will ride home with Chester in a pre-heated truck. I stopped by the grocery store yesterday to pick up chili fix-ins and it is true what they say...in times of impending disaster, people stock up on bread. Seriously-the entire bread shelf was empty. I don't know why I think that is so funny but if I am housebound, the last thing I am going to be wishing I had was two pieces of bread to make me a sam'ich. Not me, I'm going for brownies, cupcakes and pies.

Cancelled

We made the decision to cancel our Disney trip last night. The whole idea was to get all of our family (X-Boy, Chester, U*Haul/Pixie/Little Pea and Aunt Genious) to join us for a week of relaxation and reconnecting after the year of sorrow we have had. With everything that is going on right now we came to the realization that we simply could not leave the office for that length of time without having someone there to mind the store if you will. So it looks like U*Haul, Pixie and Little Pea will be coming home for Christmas and that is what really matters-that our whole family is together.

My Crazy Life

Things are a little tense around Casa de Dreamsicle this week. Although I won't go into much detail here, I am having a very difficult time wrapping my head around the choices people in my life have made this year. Heaven knows that I am not perfect but decisions have been made, secrets have been kept, and information withheld from me and my immediate family and when confronted with those facts, have been told that it was "none of my business". Pretty powerful words to tell a family member that you profess to love. What ever happened to family being the most important thing, the one place that was safe and honest? That must be the way it works in other people's family-just not mine. For now McGyver and I will hunker down with our kids and give thanks that in our immediate little family we still hold true to those core values.

Happy Birthday Chester!

I am so happy that I was able to hug you this morning and wish you a happy birthday. It was nice not having my arms ache to feel your presence like they did for the past four years. You are growing and evolving in to a man that I am deeply proud to be able to call my son.

Looks Like I Made It!

30 posts in 30 days. That is a record for me. Would I do it again? Probably not. I just don't lead that exciting of a life-as you can tell if you followed my posts for the last 30 days. LOL. Trying to come up with things to write about every day was tough but the hardest part was the pressure I put on myself to remember to post!

So if you followed me throughout November-thanks for sticking around.

Self Image

I was talking with Chester this weekend and he was bringing me up to speed on what his friends from high school are doing now. It has been fun watching him reconnect after having been gone for four years. We got on the subject of a couple that dated while in high school and are still together. They were what you would have considered to be a "power couple" back in the day-he handsome, athletic, totally cool, and she-top ten smart, sassy and beautiful.

They had futures that were so full of promise. Want to know what they are doing now? He is a bouncer at a strip club and she is a stripper. I have not been able to get this bit of information out of my head. They had so many dreams, so many plans. How does all of that get pushed aside and you somehow settle for selling (and protecting) the rights to view your body? Neither of them came from families with money and I know they were both struggling to pay for college but to end up at the opposite end of the spectrum is so disheartening. What are we as a society teaching our young people? As a mom to a little girl, I can only imagine how this young woman's mom must feel. It is so scary to think that this person seemed to be so put together, so full of self confidence but my personal belief is that you don't choose this type of occupation if you are comfortable in your own skin. It is yet another lesson for me to remember. No matter how Dreamsicle may appear on the outside, I better make darn certain that internally she feels fabulous about herself.

Fantabulous!

Dreamsicle and I were picked up by G-ma and Auntis Pammis again yesterday around noon. We had lunch plans with cousins who live out of state. We had a great time with them! The cousins are always so warm and engaging, it is a pleasure just to be around them. After taking over the restaurant we met at for 2.5 hours we had to say goodbye.

Auntis Pammis decided that she would like to brave the malls to look for some new clothes. We were all pleasantly surprised to find that although the mall was busy, it was manageable and great deals were everywhere-even at 3:00 in the afternoon. I wanted to stop by the Disn*ey Store just to see what they had to offer and boy am I glad I did. Dreamsicle has declared for the last month that she wants slippers for Christmas. The slippers were purchased long ago. Two nights ago she started asking for the Disn*ey Dollhouse. She never asks for anything so I knew that it was something that she truly wanted. We walked into the Disn*ey Store and there it was in all of its glory-30% off! A Castmember then informed me that if I purchased a reusable bag for some nominal fee anything that went into the bag would have a 10% reduction at the register. Needless to say I bought the Dollhouse at 40% off of list price. Trying to make the purchase and get it out to G-ma's van was hysterical. G-ma pushed Dreamsicle in the stroller around the store, getting her interested in all kinds of things while I made the purchase then Auntis Pammis had to take the box out to the van. The box is huge! Seriously, if she carried it her line of vision was blocked. It was big enough that she could slide it across the floors of the mall (yep, she got some pretty strange looks for that one) but then risked life and limb and picked it up once she got outside. It all worked out as planned and was hidden in the back of the van where Dreamsicle sat in complete ignorance all of the way home. Score one for the mama!

Yesterday

At the eleventh hour two days ago Chester decided that he did not feel well enough to do the beat on your chest cause I'm a man hunting trip with McGyver, which caused me to go into a bit of a panic regarding Thanksgiving. Dreamsicle and I already had reservations made at a restaurant and were planning on spending the day with G-ma and Auntis Pammis, now that Chester and X*Boy were both going to be around I thought I might have to change those plans. After speaking with X*Boy (who caught what we had a few weeks ago so we already knew he would not be feeling up to leaving his couch let alone eating a big dinner and had informed me four days ago not to plan on him doing anything) I came up with plan B. I took a ham out of the freezer on Thanksgiving Eve and in the morning I whipped up a couple of pumpkin pies, made some home made bread and set it out to rise then went out to eat with G-ma, Auntis Pammis and Dreamsicle. As we were leaving the restaurant I called Chester (who, for the record was miraculously healed the night before since he called me the morning of Thanksgiving after McGyver had left to tell me that he was heading home from the big city that we live close to after spending the night at a buddy's house. Seems his strong will to live overcame the plague that he swore he had which allowed him the ability to participate in the events surrounding the biggest bar night of the year. Must be the heart of the Marine that still beats in his chest.) I digress-sorry. So I called Chester on my way home from the restaurant and had him drive to the house and throw the ham in the oven. 3 hours later dinner was served. By that time Dreamsicle was hungry again so it all worked out well. She couldn't believe that she got to eat dessert twice in one day so she was one happy girl.

**On a side note the restaurant we ate at was fabulous! They had a buffet that was huge but the best part was that they had a separate kids buffet. A line of teeny tiny tables in a row which held such fabulous kid treats as fruit cups! and chocolate pudding! and macaroni and cheese! and jello! and chicken strips! The list goes on. She was in heaven. We had a great waiter who asked her what she wanted for Christmas from Santa (bunny slippers) and what her favorite part of her meal was (green beans). Yep that's my girl.**

Happy ThanksU*Haulgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! May your turkey be roasted perfectly, your mashed potatoes just the right amount of lumpy and your gravy smooth as silk. May you take just a moment today to remember all of the good you have in your life and to pray for those who are so far away from their families as they protect us from harm.

Happy Birthday U*Haul. We love you more than words can describe. I always get giggly when I think back on the Thanksgiving that you were born. So know that even though we aren't together this year, your Dad and I will remind each other of the story of your birth at least a dozen times today. Oh and guess what-since your Dad is leaving to go hunting for a few days he will once again be missing the dessert on Thanksgiving, only this time it is not your fault.

Backing Up

We have the camper already loaded on the truck in preparation for our trip to Florida. Chester's truck broke down and will be spending the next two weeks in the shop. This has caused me to turn over the keys to my car to Chester and forced me to drive the truck (think Beverly Hillbilly Clampett mobile) during this time. Our office has a strange parking lot. McGyver has requested that I park in the far back of the parking lot (he claims so that the Clampett mobile won't get hit but I have a strange feeling it may be his subtle way of forcing me to move my bahonkas more than three feet as I trudge into the office). I really haven't minded parking back there until today. I have been getting to work early this week (dark thirty early) and I always back the Clampett mobile into a parking space. Today I whipped the old rig around, threw it into park and hopped out. I don't know what caused me to look back but when I did I realized that I was parked on the lawn, not in a parking space and that I had taken out one of the wooden posts the snow plow company had placed to mark where the grass begins and the asphalt ends. Oops.

Random

My office is unable to keep a steady temperature. I have a space heater that I turn on and off at least a bazillion times a day. Right now I am hot but too lazy to get my bahonkas up out of my chair to turn it off. Do they sell remote control space heaters???

McGyver and Chester made plans to hunt out of town on Thanksgiving. This piece of news helped me to decide to make reservations for dinner at a restaurant since it will only be me and Dreamsicle. Guess who came home last night and told me that he thought they should stay home for Thanksgiving and leave the next day? Hmmm, if you figured that one out guess who told him he no longer had a choice. I have a 26 pound turkey chillaxin in my freezer. There is no way that big old bird would be defrosted by Thursday. Mama isn't cooking. It realy doesn't bother me that they will be gone-2 weeks later our entire family will be together in Florida-that's what I will consider my Thanksgiving.

Little Pea went to the doctor yesterday. It appears as if the ear infection he has been treated for with two different antibiotics to clear up decided to get worse instead. He was given a shot and I will bet that he is doing much better today.

Prayers please

Our poor little Pea is very sick right now, please keep him in your prayers.

Conversations with Dreamsicle

Me: Dreamsicle, why is there an empty apple juice container in the fridge?
Dreamsicle: It's just chillin'

Chester: Dreamsicle-what do you think of the deer I shot ( a spike)
Dreamsicle: It's okay Chester, as long as you tried your best you should be proud. Maybe next time you will get a bigger one.

Me: Dreamsicle, why are you and your bear wearing sunglasses?
Dreamsicle: We are rock stars.

Foggy

I can't remember the last time it was so foggy outside. The fog outside obviously matches the fog in my brain since I failed to remember to purchase such breakfast staples as bread and coffee last night. This oversight caused my need to trudge out into the fog this morning where I could not see my hand in front of my face. Luckily I made it home safely and fired up the beloved coffee pot to give me a much needed jolt this morning. I'm heading out the door in an hour to get my hair cut and colored, sure hope the fog lifts before I have to go.

That Was A Close One

Almost forgot to post today! Was actually able to sleep last night, didn't set the alarm because frankly, haven't needed one in a month or six since I have been suffering from insomnia for so long. By the time I woke up I had just enough time to shower and run out the door for work. It was a crazy busy day at work then met friends for dinner and drinks afterwards. We had a great time catching up with friends we haven't seen in over a month and now I'm just chilling on the couch tring to convince myself that I do not need to go to bed yet. I think the bed is winning, I swear I can hear it calling my name...

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Insomnia strikes again. Can someone please stop this roller coaster? I think I am ready to get off now.

Yep I'm Still A Girl

Dreamsicle has been very interested in the differences between boys and girls. Yesterday she watched me get dressed after my shower and we talked about being a girl and what that means. Last night she lifted up my shirt, then pulled it back down, patted me on the back and said "yep, you are still a girl".

Hearing That Whisper

I am hearing it again. The whisper that is barely audible. The feeling that maybe, just maybe there is another girl in a far away land waiting for her mama and baba. Dreamsicle keeps bringing up her desire for a sister more and more frequently. We have huge hurdles in our way, the most pressing one being that we have no money. Building a business is certainly not for the faint of heart. Every single penny we earn goes back into the business at this point. I don't even know if we would make the income requirement on paper right now. And just because I hear the whisper, I don't know that McGyver has his listening ears on. It's time for me just to turn this over to the Lord. If we are meant to add to our family one more time, He will make it possible because I alone certainly can't.

Insomnia Again

I am becoming very familiar with both side of 3:00 on my clock. Suffering from insomnia is no fun. McGyver is hunting at his buddy's cabin so Dreamsicle is snuggled up in my bed with me but I still can't sleep. Since I was laying here awake I decided to grab the laptop and write up a quick post. While sitting here in my bed with only the light from the laptop screen illuminating my room, it suddenly reminded me of when we were in China. My body refused to adjust to the time difference so I was seriously sleep deprived while we were over there. McGyver and Dreamsicle and would sleep the night away and I would sit up, creating my posts in the wee hours of the morning with just the light of the laptop illuminating our hotel room. Funny how some things are different but the same.

Today

Left the house at 4:30 am and just got home tonight at 8:00. Spent the day at a conference with lots of people that I used to work with. Interesting would describe my day. Some people that I worked with for 15 years wouldn't even make eye contact with me, some people that I only worked with for 3 years couldn't get to me fast enough to exchange hugs and catch up. So many things going through my head right now...

Sweet Dreamsicle

Dreamsicle is so funny. She has finally started to sing. She won't sing out loud yet but her voice would pass for being just above a whisper while she sings the words. She takes after her mama. Poor babe cannot carry a tune at all, but hey at least she is trying.

Speaking of whispers, she has learned what a "secret" is. In her mind a secret is when someone puts their hand to her ear and whispers something. She wants to tell everyone secrets right now. One small glitch in that plan though-she can't think of anything to say so she ends up putting her hand to my or McGyver's ear then we hear something that amounts to "pstmhephmhselale". Call me crazy but I hope she never grasps the concept of secrets-how cool would it be if she never felt like she had to keep one?

Light+End=Tunnel

I think I have finally kicked this illness. I knew I was starting to feel better when I began craving pancakes. I actually got off the couch yesterday and loaded the dishwasher (don't ask me how many times I loaded the dishwasher, just think several-if this makes no sense to you refer to post below).
I made dinner last night and actually slept for 5 hours! In a row! Go body!
I am going to actually brave heading outside today (hopefully I won't have to throw my arm over my eyes yelling "the light, it is blinding me!") since I have not seen the great out of doors for 6 days but I must get my body moving. There is a big craft show that my mom, my sister, Dreamsicle and I attend annually and today is the day. Nothing gets me moving like shopping! LOL. Dreamsicle is beside herself with joy at the prospect that her mama is actually going to do something with her today.
Tomorrow is opening day of deer hunting. Tune in tomorrow to see if I once again manage to step in a 6 inch square of deer poop on 40 acres of property.

I Am Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired!

The plague will not release me from its grip. Between the never ending fevers, the dizziness that will not leave me alone and the ever present throbbing headache that has now given me an eye twitch I have missed an entire week of work. Never in my life have I missed an entire week of work for anything other than vacations and our trip to China.

My house is a disaster. I love McGyver with all of my heart but the fact that he refuses to lift a finger inside the house is killing me. Dreamsicle has lived on take out for the past week since to get up off the couch causes me to want to lie down wherever I happen to see a clear spot on the floor.

Please sickness, go away!

Best Fends

My sweet Dreamsicle just does not stop. I have done nothing but lie around for the past 5 days, trying desperately to get better. She is such a nurturer. Whether or not I need it, I must have two blankets on me at all times. If she walks by me and sees that I have removed one, she immediately comes over, puts the other blanket on me, tucks it in under my chin, gives me a kiss then tells me-dat's bedda (that's better).

I have been home while McGyver has dressed her for preschool this week so I have done her hair. Every time I finish she runs into the bathroom to look then comes out and thanks me for making her bootiful (beautiful)

She has tried to feed me at least 5 times telling me that it always makes her feel better when I feed her when she is ill.

Last night Dreamsicle crawled up on top of me and wanted to snuggle. I gave her nose a kiss and told her that I loved her. She looked me right in the eye and said "mama, I love you too, you will always be my best fend".

Oh baby, you will always be my best fend too.

**PSA**

Still sick, please send cupcakes

Thank you Veterans!

Today I will thank any active duty service member I see. Today I will thank every Veteran I know. Today I will bake and take goodies to the local recruiting station. Today I will compile my list of items I would like to donate to the Veteran's Home for Christmas. Today I will rest easy in the knowledge that I have been and will continue to be protected by the men and women who sacrifice so much to protect this great nation of ours and today I will pray for their safety-both here and abroad.

Warning-Rant Ahead

I am sitting at home watching the memorial service taking place at Fort Hood. I am certainly not Miss Manners but does it seem just a bit off that when the President appeared people started cheering? I don't know, was that appropriate for such a solemn occasion?

And what was up with the civilian photographer taking pictures during the National Anthem, ball cap firmly in place? Where is the respect?

Dreamsicle's Joy

I often times look at Dreamsicle and cannot believe how much she has grown and changed since we first met in China. She has always had a sense of humor but now that she is four, she is really pouring it on. She thinks that hiding and trying to scare you is cool right now, the only problem is that she lives her little life so full of joy everyday that it tends to bubble out in little uncontrollable giggles. She will attempt to "hide" but she just cannot be quiet. I will walk by the end of the couch and hear a little "tee-hee" coming from the other side, if I continue to walk acting as if I didn't hear anything she will jump out trying to give me a roar in between her giggles. It is the funniest thing I have ever seen.

She is really into knock knock jokes but cannot come up with any! She loves the concept but she doesn't deal in abstract very well so if she remembers one that I told her we are all set, if not they go like this:

D: Knock knock
Me: Whose there?
D: Dreamsicle
Me: Dreamsicle Who?
D: I don't know -Ba, Ha, Ha, Ha

I cannot help but crack up every dang time. She really thinks she is funny. Which does give me pause. If she cracks herself up and thinks she is funny (but often times isn't, she is just too cute to not laugh with) and I crack myself up (minus the four year old cuteness) what does that say about me? Hmmmm...

Like Father Like Son

It is getting to be hunting time 'round these parts. In preparation for the big day next Sunday, you have to "sight your rifle". I went first. The point is to shoot your gun aiming at a target that for me seems like it is a million miles away. It made me giggle watching McGyver and Chester as they would patiently wait for me to pull the trigger, then walk side by side the million miles to the target and see where my bullet landed. It struck me yet again how similar they are to each other. They have the same walk, they have the same mannerisms-it was so fun to watch them! I cannot wait until Chester has a little "minnie me" to add to the mix (someday, not now)

Getting Back To Normal

Yesterday was a great day. The temp was perfect for being outside. I decided to keep Dreamsicle home and away from people for one more day so I spent the morning scrubbing the germs away in the house with the windows open. The afternoon found the two of us outside going on a "hike". We walked for a bit around our property picking up bits and pieces of nature as we went. For some reason Dreamsicle was fascinated with the leaves yesterday. Here in the Mitten State, when the leaves first fall off the trees they are beautiful in their autumnal colors. As they lay on the ground they become brown. She didn't care, she kept handing me brown leaves and some red leaves that looked like they had been on the ground from last year, acorns and sticks. When she was finally ready to head back inside we brought our loot back inside with us. Then out of the blue she announced that she wanted to "make someping". I think this may have come from her looking over my shoulder the other day while I was reading blogs. We were reading the SalsainChina blog and there were pictures of wreaths the girls had made that caught Dreamsicle's eye. So armed with a glue gun and a paper plate we made a nature wreath. The giggles that came out of that little girl during this project were so good to hear. It was a great day-forecast says that today is supposed to be just as nice and we will be ready for our next adventure.

A New Day!

Thank goodness things are getting back to normal here at the McGyver house. Dreamsicle turned the corner last night. How do I know this? She bounced into my room at 2:00 am asking if I wanted to play! Although I would like nothing more than to play with the little sweetie who has wanted only to lie around for the past 7 days, 2:00 am was not the time I wanted to do it. My plan is to load her up and get her the heck out of dodge today. If the weather cooperates, I am thinking of a trip to the zoo. She has been on antibiotics for 36 hours and I am sure some fresh air is just the ticket to keep her moving along on the healing track.

McGyver seems to be getting better as well so hopefully I can give the house a good scrubbing this weekend and get rid of the sickness that has been chasing everyone.

In other news-U*Haul has returned from his deployment, his crew "gives back the boat" to the other crew just before Thanksgiving so he will be land based until after Valentine's Day. This year should be so much fun for U*Haul and Pixie at Christmas. The Little Pea will be a blast to watch as he tears into his presents.

Speaking of Christmas, I am almost done shopping for both Dreamsicle and The Little Pea. First time ever that I am not going to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off on Christmas Eve-yeah!

I've Got Nothing Today...

I am still trying to wrap my head around the horrific tragedy that occurred at Fort Hood yesterday. Being a military family, something like this hits close to home. Our family is praying for all of those who lost loved ones. When your husband/brother/son, wife/sister/daughter is deployed your emotions stay subconsciously on heightened alert because you know that they must walk a fine line every day to keep themselves safe. When your service member is back home on base, you allow yourself to breathe again, settling back into normalcy and believing that your loved one will go about their daily tasks and arrive safely at their home each night. This changed everything-to be attacked by a fellow service member has left me with chills that won't go away. My hope is that those families who lost loved ones, and those who were wounded can feel the prayers of the nation today.

Thankful

I have done alot of griping on this old blog lately so today I am going to list some of the things I am thankful for...

I am thankful that I have such a rock solid relationship with my husband.

I am thankful that my boys adore their little sister. I still get teared up every time one of them walks into our house and I watch the way they interact with her.

I am thankful that I have such an amazing daughter in love. She is a terrific mama to my incredible grand baby, and an awesome wife to my U*Haul. I am so thankful for the relationship that we share as well.

I am thankful that the Lord has allowed us to parent this beautiful little girl who steals my heart each and every day.

I am thankful for the friendships I have made via the blogging world. I can tell you that I have half a dozen friends I have made through the internet that I would hop on a plane at a moments notice if they ever needed me.

I am thankful for my time tested friendships here at home. It is so comforting knowing that I have a posse that circle the wagons when necessary.

I am thankful that we have the opportunity to provide jobs to people in our local community and I am even more thankful for the incredibly talented group of people that I get to work with each and every day.

I am thankful that I live in a state that offers so much beauty that it is easy to take it for granted.

I am thankful for my life

The Stuff Inside My Head Part Two

How is one wife/mother supposed to care for a sick husband who is laying in bed upstairs begging for water/aspirin/soup/kleenex and one sick four year old who insists on sneaking out into the living room on the lower level to lay on the couch and begging for water/mechazin (medicine)/soup/kleenex at the same time? I am about to find out.

Note to people having outpatient procedures done at the hospital-please remember to tie your gown before your decide that traipsing down the hallway is a good idea. Certainly got a few eye fulls today.

Note To Self: Please remember to be kind to your digestive track. Eating deep fried spicy pickles along with jalapeno poppers probably helps keep your eyeballs open at 3:00 am

Note to Semi Driver-the left lane of the expressway is meant to either pass or go faster than 35 mph while you blatantly type on your laptop located on the dash of your truck while I try to scurry past you hoping you don't decide to veer into my lane.

That's all I've got time for-I think I hear someone whining (not going to tell you which one)

The Stuff Inside My Head

I have a million little things rolling around in my head-going to attempt to put a few down for today's post...

You know you are in the middle of the H1N1 battle ground when they close the local school for a week. Apparently Dreamsicle is not the only one suffering from the flu 'round these parts. Speaking of this crazy flu-enough already! Just when I think she is on the road to recovery she spikes a fever of 100 million degrees and freaks me the heck out again. Note to Dreamsicle: Please stop freaking your mama out and get better once and for all.

Chester's girlfriend broke up with him last week. Between worrying about Dreamsicle and her 100 million degree temp, and Chester's heart that has been broken into 100 million jagged little pieces fun times have not been had in these parts. No rest for the weary *sigh*

Can someone please explain what the h*e double hockey sticks we were thinking starting a business in the Mitten State this year? Anyone? And if you are one of the people that I considered to be my friend, why the h*e double hockey sticks didn't you stop us, hmmm?? Truly-does this mean that if I was standing in the middle of the road and a tour bus of senior citizens headed up to the casino came barreling at me from behind but I didn't hear it because I was too busy listening to my IPOD that you wouldn't push me out of the way? Would you just look at my flat as a pancake self mushed on the road, shrug your shoulders and say, hmmm, guess I should have warned her? Inquiring minds want to know.

And The Plague Continues

Still home with Dreamsicle-she seems to be doing markedly better today thank goodness. And in typical McGyver household fashion, more drama. Our sweet little beagle caught wind of something that he decided that he needed to chase and he has not come home. Have you seen my dog posters will be going up today.

The Halloween That Wasn't

If you follow me on Facebook, you know that Halloween was a total dud in the McGyver house this year. Dreamsicle was all set to be Tinkerbell then the dreaded H1N1 came knocking on our door and knocked her out. Instead of loading up on candy, Dreamsicle loaded up on Motrin. She was so disappointed that I am seriously considering calling some of our closest friends and family and seeing if they will let us have a "do-over" for Halloween this Saturday. She seems to be doing much better today thank goodness, fingers crossed that there will be no back sliding or secondary infection that decides to visit her in the near future.

Jumping In

I am entering the NaBloPoMo frey and going to try to post 30 posts in 30 days. This first post wouldn't post yesterday but this is November 1st...

A Mama's Hug

I remember when the boys were young, every scrape or social injustice could be cured by a hug from their mama. I wish that was still the case. Tough times right now in the McGyver house.

Happy Anniversary Mcgyver

25 years ago I stood in the basement of my church wearing a white dress, hoping to keep the tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes at bay so that I would not ruin my makeup.

25 years ago I walked down the aisle of my church with my Dad at my side. As we took that slow walk up the aisle he whispered to me-you look beautiful and when we get to the front of the church a new man will become the most important man in your life.

25 years ago McGyver slipped the ittiest, bittiest little diamond ring on my hand (we affectionately named it chip) and we exchanged our vows.

25 years ago we celebrated until the wee hours of the morning. McGyver not wanting to leave the reception one minute early because we were having such a fantastic time surrounded by our family and friends.

25 years ago I married my best friend.

Lil Pea and Pixie

Are on their way back to the Mitten State today. They should arrive this afternoon via a small aircraft that will deposit them close to Pixie's mama's house. I will be picking them up from there. I am simply beside myself today with excitement. I cannot wait to hold that sweet baby again and kiss his chubby little cheeks. Dreamsicle has spent the last three days running around the house shouting-yeah! Lil Pea is coming to visit me! about a million times. U*Haul will be heading *underway* again soon so it made perfect sense to have the rest of his fam come home while he is gone.

I am getting v.v. excited about our upcoming Disney trip. Just the thought of my whole family together again gives me butterflies in my stomach. We are even bringing Aunt Genious along with us so fun is sure to be had by all. Poor Aunt Genious has no idea what she has gotten herself into though I am sure. McGyver has tried to warn her but she really has no idea that I really do get up at the crack of dawn every day and make a ginormous breakfast, start cracking the whip to get everyone showered, clothed and fed early enough to allow for us to make it to each park's rope drop in the morning. Vacation-mama style-doesn't really include relaxing, sleep filled mornings.

Remember the pics I posted of the Floating playpen? Just wait until I post the pictures of the accomodations we will be staying in on our trip. We have a truck camper that will be home to McGyver, myself and Dreamsicle but we are also pulling down a utility trailer that McGyver has fixed up as his mobile "hunting cabin". There is a set of bunkbeds, a resin table and three chairs, two vertical filing cabinets that he uses to house all of his kitchenware items and clothes, and another cot inside the utility trailer. This will be home to Aunt Genious, U*Haul, Pixie and Lil Pea. X*Boy, Chester and Chester's girlfriend (Belle) ***off the beaten bath for a minute-Chester has a girlfriend whom we all adore. Belle is a hometown girl, shares the same values and seems to truly make Chester happy. She would fit nicely into the McGyver family thankyouverymuch.*** Back on track now-X*Boy, Chester and Belle will be coming down a few days after the rest of us due to Belle's college exam schedule. So excited. Can you tell?

Faith

**Warning-raw emotional post ahead**

I miss my faith. Let me rephrase that-I miss being active in my faith. I certainly still have a relationship with God but I don't have a relationship with a church. When all of the mess took place at the last job I was an employee at I was crushed. Crushed because the person that caused all of the ick proclaimed to be a man of faith. Then I watched him do and say things in a manner that were certainly not Christ like. Fast forward a year and a half and over the course of this time span I have been hit again-with people that profess to love God, to claim to be Christians-only to act in devious, dark ways. And it has left me broken.

I used to be active in my church-then we stopped going. And you know what-we never got a phone call from anyone at the church wondering if we were okay, asking how things were with our family-nothing.

I happened to run into my old pastor at the grocery store the other day-he asked when we were going to come back to church then the next sentence out of his mouth was-if we don't start getting people to come back to church we will have to close our doors by spring, we need money. Ummm, I'm thinking you probably won't see me back in the pews of your church any time soon.

I took Dreamsicle to a new church last Sunday. I don't want her growing up without a church family-I used to be the youth leader of my old church for pete's sake! I have done nothing to introduce Christ to her. That became very apparent when she saw a picture of Jesus and asked me who that guy was. That was my wake up call.

If you read this blog and you are a Christian-please pray for me, for my family-that we find our way back. And in the process of finding our way back, that we are protected from the falsehoods that have been following us.

Weekend Update

Dreamsicle and I attended our first Halloween Hollow event on Saturday. It always surprises me that we live in a very, very small community and yet there are numerous events that I never knew took place in our little neck of the woods. Things like the Farmers Market (just discovered that last year), a business expo and now Halloween Hollow. This was a big deal. One of my besties helps coordinate this event and she shared with me that they had 1300 people in attendance on Saturday. 1300! In our little town! At once!

The event consists of having your child/children dress up in their Halloween costumes and visit scores of characters strategically placed in desirable locations on the riverwalk. This year because of the rain, there were no desirable riverwalk locations to be visited, instead we got to visit the ever so fantastic middle school gym. Can I veer off the topic for a moment and ask why, even when no middle school aged child has been sweating in the gym all day the gym still smells like old gym socks and adolescent sweat? Hmmmm?

Anyway-Dreamsicle dressed up in her fairy costume and happily skipped from character to character (even hugging a few which is a huge thing for us-HUGE!) filling her basket with all sorts of goodies along the way. One of the things that I truly appreciated about this event was that the give aways were not just candy. She loaded up on books and coloring books and toothbrushes and toothpaste, little toys and not so much candy. I am totally in love with this event and can't wait until next year to do it all over again.

Go Glamour

Kudos to Glamour Magazine! The November Glamour magazine issue will kick off their new committment to profiling women of all sizes as well as designers that recognize that women come in all shapes and sizes. I haven't purchased a Glamour magazine since I was in my twenties but I will gladly be throwing my hard earned cash at them now.

Raising boys was relatively easy when it came to giving them a positive sense of self. I never really sweated it with them.

Raising Dreamsicle is a different story. I am going to do all that I can to help her feel confident in the body that she has-my greatest hope is that I will be able to instill a sense of self that will make her feel comfortable in her own skin. A pretty lofty goal in today's society.

I hope that other magazines will jump on board once they see the positive response that Glamour has received since making this announcement. Short or Tall, Thin or Not So Thin, we are all women and should be celebrating each other for who we are, not what we look like. And certainly not judging ourselves by a magazine or a designer's idea of what beauty looks like.

SIDS Awareness Month

March 24, 1987 started out as an ordinary day. I had recently gone back to work after giving birth to Angel Baby and Chester. My morning routine usually consisted of getting myself ready, waking up X*Boy and convincing him to eat a bowl of cereal, then waking up the twins and giving them their morning bottles. I usually alternated between babies each morning-waking Angel Baby up first one morning, then Chester the next morning. On this day it was Chester's turn to be served his bottle first. After getting myself and X*Boy ready, I proceeded to feed Chester. The minute I looked into Angel Baby's crib, I knew something wasn't right. It was by the grace of God that McGyver happened to be home that morning. He was in the Marine Corps back in those days and was usually at work by the time I started our morning routine with the kids. I screamed to McGyver to help me and I watched as he picked up our beautiful little boy, who was limp in his arms. While I called 911 McGyver administered CPR. We both knew it was too late, but had still tried so hard to save him.

The first responders confirmed what we already knew-our precious little boy, identical twin to Chester, had passed away at the age of 3 months and 3 weeks.

Before Angel Baby's death, I knew nothing about SIDS. When the coroner called to tell us Angel Baby's cause of death, I collapsed. How could I, his mommy, not have been able to do something to save my own child? It was like a silent stranger had crept into our home sometime the previous night and stolen our baby from us. Not having an answer as to what causes SIDS ate away at me for years after losing Angel Baby.

Thankfully, the years that have passed have found ways to help minimize the risk of losing a baby to SIDS. Who would have ever thought that something as simple as changing the sleeping position of a baby could reduce the number of SIDS related deaths so dramatically? Placing a baby on his/her back while sleeping is now included in the education of new parents. Keeping an uncluttered crib, free from loose blankets, etc is also key. Simple, easy steps to help parents keep their kids safe.

My heart aches every time I hear of another family that has lost a baby to this dreadful, unexplained phenomenon but my heart leaps every time I hear of another positive finding. Hopefully in the near future no family will have to endure the pain that my family has endured.

October is SIDS awareness month, and I wanted to do my part to help raise that awareness by blogging about it. You can help by educating those that you love.

Jumping On The Carousel

At the blog carnival over at (sorry, my linking ability is non-existent) http://www.growninmyheart.com/what-no-one-told-me-about-adoption-carnival-one.

The things No One Told Me About Adoption:

1. No one told me that the very minute I held my daughter for the first time that I would
almost hyperventilate
2. No one told me that our older kids would love their baby sister as much as they do. I fully
expected them to like her but the sheer joy each of them feel every time they see her has
been remarkable.
3. No one told me how truly hard it is to determine whether a behavior is one that is due to
having been institutionalized for the first twelve months of her life or simply Dreamsicle being
herself.
4. No one told me how extremely hard it would be to watch your daughter be overly outgoing
and charming to complete strangers, knowing she was doing it because of her level of
discomfort with the situation but having the strangers think she was just "the cutest little
thing". That wasn't charm, it was pain in disguise.
5. No one ever told me how difficult it would be to get assessments when concerns arise due to
where we live.
6. No one ever told me that I would end up being the disciplinarian in the family for this sweet
girl. The man that raised three sons that we can be proud of, simply cannot reprimand her.
7. No one ever told me how much we have gained by being older parents.

Whose next?

Can We Talk Healthcare?

Those of you that know me in real life know that I own a company that helps with the administrative portion of physician practices. This puts me into a sort of unique position to discuss this issue. I see the results of people who have lost their jobs and thus lost their insurance (keep in mind that we here in the Mitten State have been especially hard hit) every day. The flip side of that is that I see the shrinking reimbursement that my clients are seeing from insurance companies on a daily basis.
Having said all of that I have to tell you that I do not support the plan that is being laid out right now. It shakes me to my very core. Does this make me a bad person? Does this make me a conservative crazy? Heck no. It makes me an American. Someone who sees the struggles that both sides are facing. And in my case, there is actually a third side-that of being a small business owner. A small business owner that can afford to purchase healthcare for me, McGyver and Dreamsicle but not for my employees. This is due to the current regulation that will not allow me to purchase the same low cost plan for my employees that I, as the business owner, can purchase. There are portions of the current plan that excite me-specifically to change the regulation that would allow us to band together with other small business owners to be able to supply our employees with affordable health insurance. There is nothing that would make me happier. But there are far more proposed changes that concern me. The cost to implement this overhaul is a big one. In my opinion, it would be impossible for a plan of this scope and size to not have a price tag associated with it. If that cost isn't absorbed by the taxpayers, is it then expected to be implemented by lowering (yet again) the reimbursement physicians are receiving? It has to come from somewhere folks. I believe that an overhaul of the healthcare system is necessary, but I also believe that something this important deserves much more time to develop. Let's take it slow, keeping open minds and open hearts instead of dividing by party lines.

This Date Will Forever Be Etched In Our Minds

This day, September 11th, will forever be etched in the minds of all Americans. I can still remember where I was-getting ready for a staff meeting-when suddenly one of my co-workers entered the conference room with such a shocked look on her face that I knew immediately something terrible had happened. She could not speak, I thought tragedy must have struck her family. She finally whispered a plea-turn on the television...please...turn on the television. I found the remote, powered the television on just in time to see the 2nd plane hit the Tower. Right then other staff members began entering the conference room-eyes glued to the tv. No one could speak. Tears began to flow. Soon, the entire 75 person staff was crowded into the conference room-trying to understand what had happened. Who could have possibly held such hatred for our country that they would want to kill thousands of innocent people? We sat there that morning and began to pray. We closed the office early that day, I know that everyone wanted to get home to their families just as badly as I did that day. When I arrived home, my boys were shaken-filled with questions. I can remember being very careful with the answers I gave them to the questions they asked. I am certain that the effects of having lived through 09/11/01 shaped my boys view of the world.
I was a chaperone for Chester's New York, Washington DC Senior Trip. One of the areas that we visited was the 09/11 site. While many of his classmates seemed to view the site much like any other historic site I sat back and watched my son stand solemnly at that big gaping hole. He removed his ball cap and whispered oh so quietly "we will never forget".
The following September 11 found my son at his first day of bootcamp. He could not forget. He felt that it was his duty to help contribute to the ongoing protection of this great country of ours. Four years and two tours in Iraq have taken place since that time. Today is the last official day of Chester's enlistment in the United States Marine Corps. We are so proud of the time he served and so thankful that he is home safe with us. The fact that he is home safe with us on today of all days is not lost on any of us. Today I thank everyone who has ever served or is currently serving in our military. And I pray for our collective family of Americans-that we never forget.

Random

I am going to work on changing the background of my blog this weekend. I opened it up today and realized that it looks a little dark and depressing-which is not who I normally am. I think I went through a dark and depressing phase with the loss of Grumpy Old Man but hey-I see the light-just in time for Fall to hit the Mitten State-which means that light will become scarce soon. Speaking of Fall, for some unknown reason I am excited for Fall this year. I am actually giddy with the thought of dressing Dreamsicle in her yummy sweaters, being able to visit an orchard and carve a pumpkin. This is the first year that I have set out Halloween decorations since Dreamsicle joined our family-in the years past she was just too timid and would not have been able to tolerate any type of scary looking (albeit fun scary) stuff hanging around the house. Not so looking forward to the white stuff that blankets our State after the Fall but I do have the Disney trip to look forward to in December so that will help. Speaking of Disney-I may be just a tad bit too excited for this trip. I have already loaded the camper for our December trip! I know it is early, but I just couldn't resist. We just need to add our toiletries and food and we can be on our way. In my defense-if you have ever tried to clean and load a camper in the middle of winter here in the Mitten State you would totally understand why I decided to undertake that project right now.
McGyver and Chester are OOT bear hunting until Sunday. Dreamsicle and I jumped into our jammies yesterday when we got home from work/daycare and lounged around all night long watching cartoons and eating junk food. It was extremely relaxing and so nice just to snuggle with my big girl. She has her pre-school open house tonight which she is totally stoked for. She starts school next Monday. Leave it to me to have scheduled an uber important loaded with future possibilities meeting for the morning of the first day of her preschool-she goes in the afternoon so I am hoping I can race back in time to take her. Those of you that know McGyver know that he is super cool but could not possibly tackle a pony tail to save his life. Well, he would tackle it, but I am not so sure what the result would look like. Dreamsicle's hair is still baby fine so if you don't use product you can't do anything with it.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for the Monday uber important loaded with possibilities in the future meeting if you would please-I am more than ready to take our business to the next level!

How Old Am I?

Ever since I hit my forties, I cannot seem to remember how old I am. I always seem to think I am a year older than I really am-this causes my younger than me by two years sister much stress as she is constantly having to figure out if she is really as old as I am saying or not. Today is my birthday and she posted a comment on my facebook wall wishing me a Happy Birthday and asking that very question..now how old are you?

August Happenings

Today is McGyver's birthday. I love that man more today than I did the day we got married. He is so cool. We will be celebrating with "choc-it" cake cuz daddy loves "choc-it"and ice cream sundaes. Dreamsicle is set on the sundaes-must have the sour cream (whipped cream but she always calls it sour cream-He!) and the bananas to put on the ice cream.

Chester is home and I have already put him to work in the office. It feels so good to see his mug every day.

Dreamsicle had her four year check up yesterday. She ended up needing four immunizations. Thankfully she did not run a fever. She did however swear that she would never be able to walk again (my yegs mama-they made my yegs not work no more!). She did manage to make it out of her bedroom this morning, draggin one leg behind to give me a kiss goodbye so we will see if I need to buy her a wheelchair this afternoon LOL-such drama from the little sweetie. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she would be having to re-visit the ped's office in a few months for a flu shot-we will just let that one rest for now...

Take The Long Way Home

I received a call this morning letting me know that Chester was headed to the airport for the very last time. On his way to begin winging his way home. I was positively giddy when I got off the phone with him. He called a little later to tell me that instead of arriving at 10:30 his flight would be arriving at 11:00. No biggie-I can keep my peepers open for 30 minutes longer than expected in order to see my son arrive home. Weeeeelll, that was not to be. Turns out his flight that was delayed in Palm Springs was going to arrive in Dallas with only a 5 minute window for Chester to make his connecting flight. So they kindly rebooked him in Palm Springs before his flight took off. Rebooked his connecting flight. The one from Dallas to the Mitten State. The one that would have had him arriving tonight. The one that will now force him to spend the entire night in the airport in Dallas and not arrive in the Mitten State until tomorrow afternoon. *Sob* I know it is only a 12 hour difference but after waiting four years for this very day, 12 hours seems like an eternity.

Back To The Land Of The Living

I finally broke down yesterday and hauled my snotty self to the doctor. My doctor opened the door to the exam room and said OMG-you have a brutal sinus infection. I thought she could read my mind but turns out the fact that my face is swollen to twice the size it normally is clued her in. So I'm on antibiotics twice a day. This evening I actually feel like I just might live. Strange-being as sick as I was. I don't do sick. I usually power through whatever ails me but this seriously kicked my behind. Dreamsicle and I ventured out this afternoon to the local farmers market. We loaded up on fresh fruit and have spent the evening cleaning and consuming it.

In exactly 4 sleeps Chester will board a plane from California bound for the Mitten State. For. The. Last. Time. Evah. Dreamsicle is so excited she can hardly contain herself. She keeps practicing her "rock star hands" and singing twinkle twinkle little s*tar in her best rock star low voice in preparation for his arrival. He taught her that when he was home for Grumpy Old Man's funeral and she has not forgotten it.

Since we were gone for Dreamsicle's birthday, we are going to celebrate it on our Metcha day instead. I am so excited that Chester gets to be a part of it. It will truly make the day even that much more special.

I'm So Dizzy-My Head Is Spinning

Betcha thought this post was going to find me breaking out in song, didn't you? Nope. But the title describes how I feel right now perfectly. Add feverish and firey lungs to the mix and that is me. Yuck. Big headache on top of everything else too. I know I need to rest and sleep but people, I have been out of the office so much lately that it is not in the cards for me to stay at home and nappy-nap all day. I will admit, it was hard for me not to jump back under my covers this morning, I swear I heard my bed actually calling my name "come back Mrs McGyver, it is all warm and comfy and your pillow still has the dent in it from your head". Did you hear that? No? Must be the dizzy, head spinny thing I've got going on then.

Being sick in my house is never easy. Dreamsicle is hyper sensitive anyway and when her mama doesn't feel good-she comes unglued. Saying goodbye to her this morning was awful. She was begging me to just hold her and "schnuggle" so that she could make me feel better. My little sweetie-if hugs could cure me, I'd be dancing right now.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

When I made our travel arrangements to come down here, I had booked our stay to return home last Tuesday. As you all know by now, Pixie's surgery got pushed back which forced me to need to change our return flight. Dreamsicle and I had traveled down here on United. I purchased the travel insurance (something that I never do) because when I read the types of situations the travel insurance covered it specifically stated that it would protect you from having to pay an extra fee should your plans change due to an unexpected serious illness of a family member. Feeling like I was armed with a serious illness of a family member (malignant melanoma certainly wouldn't fall into the category of an appendectomy for goodness sakes) I called United to change our return flight. They first told me that I would be hit with a $150.00 per person change fee. I was actually okay with that-then the agent proceeded to tell me that I would be responsible for the difference in the price of the flight. Guess how much the difference in the flight was...just guess..$1300.00! Yep they tried to tell me that it would cost an additional $1500.00 to get Dreamsicle and I home if we wanted to change our flight. I spoke with the most unhelpful supervisor I have ever dealt with in my life after the agent told me that. Both stuck to their written script-you have to pay that money up front then request a refund from United. Travel insurance, pavel insurance-it did not matter. At this point I was seriously hyperventilating. Keep in mind that I paid out the nose to get here since I purchased our tickets on the same day that we traveled. I could not get myself to give the go ahead for them to charge me an additional $1500.00 Since I had rented a car I called McGyver to see if he would be down with me taking a leisurely drive back to the Mitten State with Dreamsicle because it would be considerably cheaper. He wasn't having any of that and told me to pay what I had to pay to make sure we were here for Pixie's surgery. I got on line and just for kicks and giggles got on the United website, typed in the date I wanted to travel home and low and behold-I could purchase two one way tickets for $422.00 each. Ummmmm, yeah. Considerably less than the $1500.00 they wanted to charge me for the change fee, no? I decided right then and there that I would not be giving United Airlines any more of my money and purchased two one way tickets home from Northwest for a slightly lower price than the $422.00. I can tell you this, I will never fly United again if I have any other alternative.

Pixie Update

We returned home from the hospital a few hours ago. Pixie came through the surgery well. They feel that they were able to remove all of the cancerous cells, they went deeper and wider than they originally planned just to make certain that they didn't leave anything dangerous behind. We now wait for the pathology report to come back on Friday but we are confident that it is going to come back clear.

Thank you for all of your prayers, we know she was covered with them today.

Pay It Forward

I have been thinking alot lately about the generosity of friends and strangers. We have seen some pretty dark days in our family over the course of the last two months and yet there have been bright spots that appear out of nowhere. Friends who stop by unannounced to pick up Dreamsicle and let her play with other kids, friends who answer their phone, drop their plans and make sure that Dreamsicle has days filled with fun. Strangers who make the commitment to keep our family in their prayers, send cards and well wishes.

All of this has me wanting to issue a challenge to all of you. You all know about paying it forward, but how many of you ever really do it? My challenge is that tomorrow anyone reading this blog do something nice for someone else. Whether it is holding a door for someone, buying the next person in line's coffee, dropping a meal off to someone facing unemployment or poor health or stopping and seeing someone you know could use the company-let's all be good neighbors tomorrow and do something to brighten someone else's day.

Today

I am sitting in the living room of Pixie and U*Haul's house, just chillin' with Pixie and the kids today. I am so blessed to have such an "easy" relationship with my daughter in love. She really is so much more than that title allows. She is my daughter. I love her as much as I love my four children. Truly, deeply, and forever. I have kept the fam running since we have been down here but really feel like she needed to have some "down" time yesterday and today to help her body to rest for tomorrow's surgery. We will go somewhere for dinner tonight so that she can have some of her beloved steak, then call it an early night in preparation for tomorrow. I changed our flight home so that we can be here until Saturday. I am so glad I did. Not knowing what the next few days has in store for her, I want to be here to help care for the Lil Pea if necessary. Please keep her in your prayers tomorrow. That is exactly where she needs to be.

Dreamsicle's Big Birthday Trip-Now Complete with More Shampu!

Yesterday I blinked and our baby turned toddler turned into a big girl. I swear, it happened that fast. Dreamsicle turned four yesterday! U*Haul and Pixie live about three hours away from Orlando so we decided that we would get up earlier than anyone really ever should have to and make the trek to Sea World. Am I ever glad we did! The day started out with us sitting in the stands for the first Sham*u performance of the day. Dreamsicle was amazed. After that we went to the kiddie section of Sea World where U*Haul proceeded to win Dreamsicle a HUGE Sham*u. Dreamsicle was super excited and yelled thanks U*Haul-I love my Shampu! Yep, the name has now stuck. My daugher will be the one in the airport carrying a 3 foot Shampu home with her. Every show that we watched seemed to build on the one before so by the time we watched the whale and dolphin show my big girl was standing on her feet, hands on her mouth (when she wasn't busy clapping) completely immersed by joy. I do not have the words to describe how happy my heart was yesterday. Being able to spend her birthday with U*Haul, Pixie and Lil Pea was so special. The only thing missing was McGyver. My plan right now is to wait until Chester comes home later this month then have another birthday celebration with McGyver, Chester and X*Boy in attendance. After all, what little girl wouldn't love to be able to eat cake twice?

Jacksonville Zoo

Pixie, Lil Pea, Dreamsicle and I headed out to the Jacksonville Zoo this afternoon. Thankfully the zoo membership that we have back in the Mitten State has a reciprocity agreement with the Jacksonville Zoo so it was cheap-o for us to get in. I LOVED this zoo! Dreamsicle was in awe-I have some great pic's of her feeding the giraffe. She thought she was in heaven. I think I am going to add a membership to the list of Christmas gifts for the U*Haul family. We had such a great time-the perfect thing to help keep smiles on our faces while we pile through the ick. We plan on heading up to Savannah tomorrow and Sea World on Sunday. It is hard knowing that Dreamsicle will be spending her birthday without her Daddy on Sunday but we plan on making it a special day any way.

Got Sunscreen?

It is still a little difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that Pixie is dealing with melanoma. We are confident that once she has her surgery she will recover completely. But I am filled with anger. Pixie was one of the hundreds of thousands that bought into the lie the tanning industry spews regarding the relative "safety" of using tanning beds. Safety? Where is her safety now? Because of the choices that she made (and let's face it, there aren't many teenage/young twenty something's that don't make the same choices) her risk for reoccurence are great. We put warning labels on alcohol and cigarettes but allow our young women to consistenly put themselves at risk on a daily basis by encouraging this vision that we have that you have to be golden brown to be considered desirable and healthy. When in fact, the complete opposite is true. I will never look at someone with a tan in the same way ever again. Our Pixie has a son to raise, a husband who needs his wife, and a family that cannot imagine life without her. Thankfully her prognosis is excellent, but the risk factor will always be there-lurking just underneath the surface. From this moment on, I pledge to never leave my home without sun protection. I vow to maintain the vigil that I already have in place with Dreamsicle-even when she is 15 and desperate to follow her friends this is one fight I won't back down from. Hopefully by instilling in her right now good sun protection habits there won't be a fight-but if there is-I love her too much to allow her to make choices that could have a lifetime of unintended consequences all in the name of vanity.
So, I have my sunscreen, do you have yours?

My Sweet Pixie

Yep, the hits just keep coming in the McGyver family. Just when we were beginning to find a new rhythm, we have been thrown a curve-ball. I received a call yesterday from U*Haul. Dreamsicle and I were on a plane headed down to Georgia 5 hours later. Pixie had a few moles removed last week, only to find that one of them was cancerous. My sweet Pixie had a malignant melanoma on her neck. When the call came from the dermatologist with the news, he told her that she needed to have surgery today. They stressed that swift aggressive action was necessary so Dreamsicle and I flew down to help in any way that we can. When Pixie met with the surgeon this morning, he felt that the surgery was too complex to perform in the manner that was originally planned so she is now scheduled for surgery next Wednesday. We will stay here and get my sweeties through this rough patch. In the mean time, it is so good to spend time with the three of them. It has been a joy to fall in love all over again with the Little Pea-he has grown so much that he is now only 5 pounds less than Dreamsicle! Please keep our precious Pixie, U*Haul and Little Pea in your prayers.

Family

This past weekend found us in a campground surrounded by all of our favorite peeps-our extended family. Once a year we get together for a camping/family reunion weekend. This year even included my cousins that I haven't seen in years! I consider myself so blessed to have such a great group of people that I enjoy so much (enough to spend an entire weekend with-HA!). I seriously am related to some of the best. cooks. evah. The food on Saturday was delish and the opportunity to catch up with my aunts, cousins and cousins kids was priceless. I tend to giggle a lot listening to everybody which makes my heart happy-something I desperately need right now. We all missed my Aunt S and Uncle H and their kids this year and I truly hope that sometime within the next few years we will be able to see all of that family again. Sorry for the lack of pictures Aunt S-I forgot my camera at home!

Santa made a surprise visit to the campground via his golf cart-Dreamsicle could not believe her eyes when the Jolly Old Elf appeared. She has not stopped talking about him since.

I was sad that none of my boys were there but we are gearing up for a trip to Disney in December that will serve as our nuclear family reunion. After watching the way Dreamsicle opened up with Santa, I cannot wait to see what she is going to be like with the characters this visit.

My Military Men

We received a call from Chester yesterday letting us know that instead of having to wait until September 11th for his enlistment to be complete, he is going to be home in the middle of August! He has enough leave on the books to allow for this to happen. I am so happy! As proud as I am of his service to our country, I am so ready to have him home. Home-where the worries are minimal and he can begin the next chapter in his life.

Speaking of proud, U*Haul has been selected as the Blue Jacket Sailor of the quarter for his division. This was quite an honor for someone who has not even reached the two year mark of his military career. Way to go U*Haul!

Shy Girl

I love my Dreamsicle. She is gentle and kind. She is also shy. The past year has seen her make tremendous progress in opening up but there are still situations that pop up where she really becomes uncomfortable. I struggle with how to help her overcome this since I am the exact opposite. People have called me alot of things over the years but shy has never been one of them.

We had lesson 2 of 5 mandarin lessons yesterday. The first week she volunteered to help the teacher out while telling a story, yesterday she volunteered to wear the "birthday crown" while the teacher was explaining how birthdays are celebrated in China. Imagine my surprise when my girl who is my heart, who excitedly volunteered to where the crown and stand next to the teacher burst into tears when people starting singing Happy Birthday to her in Mandarin! She was so uncomfortable it made my heart ache and she ran back into my arms for comfort. How does a Mama who would have been cupping her hand to her ear telling everyone "sing it louder baby!" if I had been standing up there, help her shy girl tackle these kinds of situations?

How We Spent 4th of July

I know, look at me-two posts in one day!

We made the decision to head to the UP for the long holiday weekend. The town that GOM has a home in up there still puts on a 4th of July celebration like they used to back in the "good old days". The fireworks were held on July 3rd and I loved the fact that we could park on main street and tote a cooler of our favorite beverages to the town park where every one else had gathered to watch the night time sky be lit by reds, greens and blues. I did quite a bit of coaching this year in preparation for the fireworks with Dreamsicle. You may recall that she shut down two years ago while watching them and last year forced us to leave the display early-she simply could not handle the noise and the colors freaked her out. I hit pay dirt when I told her that this year we would watch them with everyone else (pointing out a number of smaller children that were in attendance) and that if she could sit and enjoy them we would include a trip to the Magic Kingdom at night to watch the fireworks over Cinderella's castle and watch Tinkerbell fly when we take our trip to Disney. That is all that it took-she was oohing and aahing with the best of them! The next day found us at the parade then back down to the community park where there was food/games and lots of socializing taking place. Dreamsicle had a ball. It was a nice break from all of the sadness lately.

Is it really the middle of July?

I am seriously surprised by the date today. Funny what happens to your mind when you are dealing with grief. Perhaps I should clarify that to say funny what happens to *my* mind when I am dealing with grief. I have learned to live by the mantra take one day at a time, don't look too far forward or things become unmanageable. I miss our Grumpy Old Man. I am sad that we didn't really get to say goodbye due to the circumstances that surrounded his death. And just when you think you have a handle on life, you have to begin to handle his affairs. And the greed and ugliness in people starts to begin. I truly hate that part. My parents were not wealthy. My Dad left a treasure to each of his four children and thankfully my Mom is still alive. Having experienced the ick that went along with his death I decided that any material goods that my Mom had, I did not want-except for a broken down jewelry box that I used to love to play with when I was small and the hutch she has in her home now so that I can hand it down to Dreamsicle. I asked her to amend her will so that I do not have to deal with any of the craziness that is bound to happen when she passes. Watching McGyver go through what he is going through right now has solidified my decision.

If you are reading this, please do me a favor and remember this-your parents owe you nothing. You make your own way in this life, and you should not "expect" anything. You are not "owed" large insurance policies, retirement funds or the right to sell the personal property of your loved one that passed away for your personal gain. And if you don't agree with me, I strongly urge you to take a long look at your inner being. Greedy is not how I ever want to be remembered.