COME ON TIME.....FLY!!!!!!

Can this weekend possibly move any slower? McGyver and X*Boy are up North fishing, Chester is now in California on base at Twenty Nine Palms, and U*Haul and Pixie are at Pixie's graduation open house. I have one more open house to make today but I'm kind of procrastinating. I'm hoping if I draw things out it will help me make it through the rest of the day. What in the world am I going to do with myself all day tomorrow?

My Life's Dream

When I was a little girl, I would imagine what it would be like to marry my Prince Charming, raise a family and live happily ever after. My dream family always consisted of 4 kids-two boys and two girls. The boys would be the oldest so that they would always be able to protect their younger sisters. In real life my Prince Charming is more like McGyver and we ride around in a white Chevy truck instead of riding on a white horse. In the happily ever after department, we have seen our share of sorrows ( losing our son), had our share of hard times (being so broke I did the laundry in the bathtub) but have been blessed beyond words with the birth of each of our boys.

It has taken us so long to get here. So long to fulfill our dream. The family dynamics are a little different than I imagined all of those years ago. Dreamsicle will have three big brothers to protect her instead of two. She will be the only girl. You know what? On the eve of receiving our referral, I can't imagine my family any other way.

Come On Referrals!

I am jumping out of my skin waiting for the infamous "Stork Alert" from our agency. They issue a "Stork Alert" when they have been notified that the referrals have been mailed. It looks like families with LID's through June 28th will be receiving the information on their babies at some point in the not so distance (please, please, make it be the not so distant) future. Soon. Just not soon enough. I am so ready to see her face. Last night before we went to bed I made McGyver go into Dreamsicle's room with me. I was just so excited, talking a mile a minute, asking him if he could imagine our daughter in her room. You know what he told me? He told me that he had spent time in her room that morning, by himself, imagining that very same thing. Awww, I love that man.

In the latest Klutz update...I have bought several new outfits for my upcoming travel. One of those outfits consists of a breezy, scrunchy type skirt that I wore to work on Monday. Mondays are our staff meeting day. I was running a little behind schedule so I scooted into the conference room where most of the staff was already assembled. In my haste I started speaking to the staff while closing the door. My skirt got caught in the door and stopped me dead in my tracks. After I gathered my wits and allowed the laughter to die down I proceeded to make my way to the front of the room. I tend to be very animated when I speak, often using my hands to make a point. So the sassy little bead bracelet that was on my wrist decided to take flight during the meeting. Luckily the girl sitting closest to me was paying attention and was able to duck before the bracelet caused her any bodily harm.

Come On Referrals!!!!!

I've Lost My Sanity

I can't sit still, I'm holding conversations with myself, I'm having palpitations. Concentration? HA! What concentration. Over rated anyway. Two weeks. (maybe 3) Two weeks until I stare into the eyes of my daughter. I am bursting, BURSTING with anticipation. For the person that is used to opening all of her Christmas presents up and then rewrapping them just because she couldn't stand the suspense, this last two weeks is going to be torture.

Speaking of torture-today is refingerprinting day for the McGyver family. Please help us get in and out of there quickly.

Good Times

This weekend flew by-thank goodness we had an extra day added to the weekend. There was just too much fun to be had to fit into two days. U*Haul and Pixie had their open houses this weekend. Graduation was a teary event for me as I watched my baby boy receive his diploma. It was great to watch him greet everyone that came to his party as they arrived. I was so proud of the way he handled himself, making sure he stopped and thanked everyone for coming. It was so nice to see our family and friends. One of my cousins has a son who weighs 21 pounds so I grabbed the baby carrier I have decided on using and did a "test carry". The carrier was comfortable to wear and the babe looked downright snugglish in it. We then moved on to the stroller and he seemed to enjoy himself in there as well. I love spending time with my extended family. They are so much fun. And good sports. I drug everyone of them upstairs to see Dreamsicle's room. So anyway, the party went off without a hitch, people stayed until the wee hours of the morning but I caught some shut eye then popped up a little while later ready to go.

It was time.

Time for the maiden voyage of the new and improved floating playpen. We launched in the morning and did not come off of the water until dusk. We are friends with a couple that have a pontoon as old as ours and they completely redid their boat this year as well. We spent the day with them out on the water. McGyver and this guy started threatening another one of our friends at the party on Saturday that they were going to "pimp his boat" since he has an old pontoon and hasn't done anything to it yet. Monday came and we took the boat out again. We ended up with five families meeting up on the water. It was so nice to relax and visit. We eat very good while boating since we have the permanently attached grills on the pontoons. I think I stuffed my face with more food (ribs! chicken! corn on the cob!) in those two days than I did in the whole week before that.

Yesterday morning I hopped on a plane and will be out of town until Sunday. I'm down south so it is hot but very bummed that their pool is inside. What's up with that? Up in the frozen tundra where I live the majority of hotels have outside pools. Here, where it is warm more months than not, the hotels have pools inside. Hmmm, go figure.

This week brings me another week closer to seeing Dreamsicle's face. Come on June-hurry up and fly by!

Not this time

I know, I know, I wasn't going to post anything adoption related until next week. I lied. It's official. Referrals are going through June 15th. I'm okay with that. Barring some crazy thing happening, we should be next. I just read that last line and laughed. This whole adoption wait has been a crazy thing so who am I kidding? June will be our month. Finally. Four weeks people, four weeks! I told McGyver last night that if we get our referral the last week of June we can pretend that the fireworks being shot off on the fourth of July are in celebration of our referral. What fun we will have on the floating playpen with the other members of the Redneck Yachtclub celebrating our baby's referral. Four weeks. Okay maybe five. The end is near. In a good way. I'm positively giddy. And. I. Have. Four. Weeks.To.Go. or maybe five.

My mission at some point this weekend is to upload all of the pictures (correctly sized I might add) from Dreamsicle's room and the floating playpen in all of it's new found Safety Red glory. And pictures of U*Haul and Pixie's graduation and open house-yippee! Four weeks (or five)!

I have to start posting more pictures

Alright, I know I'm dealing with some serious sizing issues with the pictures posted below. I had better get busy posting pictures so that I can figure out how to do this correctly before we go to China, don't you think?

Dreamsicle's Mirror

Dreamsicle's Grandmothers rocker, my dresser (repainted) and her crib

Hawaiian Surfer Frog Chick II

Hawaiian Surfer Frog Chick

Not This Time

It's looking as if I should have been running down the road of denial instead of skipping. Those pesky rumors seem to be picking up speed and it looks like we won't be receiving our referral this time. Spain is reporting that referrals will go through June 15th. You know what? I'm okay with that. As long as they make it through June 15th I can hang on for another 30 days. I keep telling myself that four weeks after referrals go out this time it will finally be our turn. Four weeks. Not a lifetime, just. four. weeks. I really have been living deep in the land of denial though. I was so convinced that June 20th would be included in this round of referrals that I actually sent an email to another blogger with the same LID as me telling her to hang on because we were so close I could almost hear our babies giggles (blush) sheesh, did I really say that? The wait? It is getting to me.
This week U*Haul and Pixie graduate from high school and their open house is next Saturday. I will post pictures of Dreamsicle's finished room sometime this weekend but then for the next week I am focusing on my baby boy and his girlfriend. I owe this time to them so at their open house I'm wearing my "don't ask" button. Not because it is too painful to talk about the adoption but because they deserve that day to be about them.

Skipping Down The Road of Denial

The rumors have started. Initially the rumors were good. Everyone was on board-referrals would go out for at least those families with LID's from June 7th-June 20th. The rumors have begun to darken. Referrals will only be given for 5 days worth of LIDS per month from now until eternity. That, my friends, is not going to happen. Nope, nope, nope. Not believing it. I have my hands covering my ears as I hum, loudly I might add, to keep those thoughts from entering my head. I am choosing to continue to skip down this road that is going to bring me to my referral at the end of this month. One more week, my referral is coming in one more week. Please, God, let it come in one more week...

Blurbs

I have a bunch of little blurbs, but nothing big to share with you today. Here goes....

1. Remember the Floating Playpen? If you look at past posts you will find a picture of the Floating Playpen in all of it's orange goodiness. It is receiving a complete makeover. I love having a pontoon from the 1970's. I can make changes on a whim and completely change the look. The Floating Playpen will soon be painted in "Safety Red". That's right-we are painting the boat with spray paint but it sure looks good. The brown carpet is being replaced with new grey floor covering. We are swapping out the green resin chairs for white ones and replacing the permanently mounted green grill with a black/red one. I will post pictures once the project is complete.

2. I had a fantabulous Mothers Day yesterday. Was gifted and fed and treated like royalty. There was a sprinkling of sadness to the day since Chester and Dreamsicle were not present but just a small sprinkle. Chester's absence is one I will have to get used to and this will be the last Mother's Day without Dreamsicle.

3. Speaking of Dreamsicle-her nursery is just about complete. My niece will be painting the Hawaaian/surfer frog chicks on her wall this week then I will post pictures.

4. Still hopeful that our referral will come at the end of this month. I tried to be sly and weasel information out of our agency but they have been playing this game far longer than me. I did get the answer that I needed to my "what if" question but no promises that we will see our baby girls face this month.

Hopeful

Today I am hopeful. I don't know why but I woke up this morning with butterflies in my stomach. I also have this strange sense of urgency, like I must hurry to finish Dreamsicle's room. I have finally realized that the end is in sight. It. Has. To. Be. We should either receive our referral at the end of May or at the very latest, the end of June. In as little as 3 weeks from now, Dreamsicle could change from just a name on a page to our daughter. Our daughter. Our Dreams, Our Hopes, Our living, breathing, waiting for her mama and daddy to come get her Daughter. I have had small bouts of this feeling before which have been dashed but we are so close to the end that this time it has to be real. It has to be.

When Two Worlds Collide

As most of you know, I work in the healthcare industry. I am seriously beginning to have adoption brain. I just read an email from one of my staff members telling me that she forgot to date stamp her LID, couldn't get to the INS or the DOR.

Translation:

LID-means the same in both worlds (log in date) just different paperwork

INS-in my work world this is short for Insurance, we all know what it stands for in adoption land

DOR-in my work world this is the abbreviation for Doctor of Record, in adoption land it is Date of Referral.

How much do you think this adoption is wearing on me when I translated that into adoption speak before remembering where I'm at?

In other news...

My friend and I were bartenders at the reception of the son of someone we work with on Saturday. I have never bartended before but my friend has. Let me just say that I will forever watch myself very carefully in public social settings after being behind the bar one night. The stuff we saw and the things we heard were enough to make my toes curl. Trust me on this-you really don't realize how drunk and stupid you get until you are one of the only sober ones at a function like this. Very interesting.

Anxious with a side of insomnia

I have no idea what is going on in adoption land lately. The latest tragedy is that there are a group of people who were told by their agency that their Log In Date was June 6th. The cut off for referrals for April was June 6th. Guess what, there was apparently a mistake made on the paperwork for at least 17 families-they were really logged in on June 7th. Can you imagine? You finally think your turn is here, that after 10 months of waiting you will be receiving your referral only to have the rug pulled out from underneath you at the 11th hour? Crushing is what that would be.

I can't get this out of my head. My heart hurts so badly for those families.

Of course now I envision this happening to us. We have two weeks worth of LIDS to get through before our LID. I can't sleep. I keep envisioning that the CCAA pulls a fast one on all of us and actually gets through two weeks worth of LIDS in one month and either stops on the 19th (because ours is the 20th) or they will go throught the 20th and we won't receive ours. I have at least another four weeks to worry about this before we will know what dates the next batch of referrals will contain. I may need to start having Red Bull iv's to keep me awake if I don't start sleeping. So close and so close, or so close and yet so far? Who knows?

Does anyone else think that there is a large group of people in China laughing at us right now?

Dog gone it

Dog gone it. This wait is becoming endless. Endless. E-N-D-L-E-S-S. We just got word that referrals were mailed today. They covered May 31-June 6th. Just in case anybody has forgotten (because I don't whine about it enough) our LID is June 20th. Talk about having a hard time planning anything. This could extend out as far as July or August if the CCAA keeps referring at this slow of a pace. I sent my check in today to the USCIS because the wait has extended so far out that we will have to be refingerprinted. One of the women that has the same LID as us called me while we were in Vegas all excited because she just "knows" we are going to get our referral in May and isn't that just so exciting? I have no idea how she figures that is going to happen. Not at this pace.

It is so wierd. The week of referrals used to be such an exciting time for the people that were waiting. The wait has gotten to be so long that I know alot of us now dread it more than look forward to it. Instead of being able to see yourself steadily moving forward you now see how far you really have left to go.

I'm going to continue to work on Dreamsicle's room. My digital camera broke so I can't post pictures until I get it repaired. I need to keep reminding myself to take positive steps forward. I see shopping in my near future, lots and lots of shopping.

Elvis Lives!

And dudes, he's a very quick changer. McGyver and I just returned from Vegas this morning. As we were walking down the strip we would see Elvis! dressed in a black shiny sequiny jumpsuit if we looked to our right. We would then go a few blocks and see him again-being the quick changer that he is he would be in his white shiny sequiny jumpsuit. More Elvis' per square foot than I have ever seen in Vegas before. Kinda freaky.

I had a conference in Vegas that I was exhibiting at. Can anyone tell me why the maintenance staff of one very large, fancy schmancy hotel on the end of the strip would ever think it was a good idea to replace loose granite on a wall right next to my booth at the exact moment that the exhibit hall opens up for the first time? The odor was horrific and needless to say I spent a rather lonely day trying to get people to dare hold their breath long enough to come see me. I tried juggling with my cool give-aways, tried smiling really big and bright, all to no avail. Me and two other vendors were like lepers. But hey, after inhaling the fumes for quite some time we became increasingly happy and hungry. I made my way back to the room once the expo hall closed and I'm fairly certain McGyver thought I had stopped at the bar somewhere.

Overall the trip was great but I'm glad to be home. Of course I managed to perform the usual klutzy things that I normally do. I wore a new halter style dress to dinner our first night and while attempting to get out of the taxi I got kind of tangled up in my dress, causing my boob to fall out. The cabbie loved that one-said I didn't need to worry about tipping him, he just got a big one! Funny guy. The strap on my computer bag got caught on the armrest of the plane while I was attempting to deplane. I didn't realize it until I was yanked backwards while trying to walk forward. The list goes on and on. At least I'm a source of entertainment.

Aaaahhhhhh

A warm sunny vacation was just what I needed. We spent time with my father in law, took his boat out into the Gulf of Mexico and fished on the first day we were down there. We saw sea turtles live and up close and caught sharks! Sharks that were about 2-3 feet in length but how fun to be able to say that I caught a shark. McGyver and I spent some quality alone time having dinners at restaurants overlooking the Gulf , gorging ourselves on seafood and taking long walks on the beach. We spent family time with Pixie and U*Haul on the beach a couple of days and ventured to Mexico. I was able to sleep in, clear my head and just......breathe. We spent 8 glorious days in the sunshine so now I have a well earned sunburn and a peeling forehead but it was so worth it. We drove to South Padre Island and coming back we stopped by Fort Knox to spend some time with Chester. When we arrived home X*Boy had painted Dreamsicle's room! Yeah-one task down in the transformation of Chester's old room into Dreamsicle's hawaiian frog heaven. Next week McGyver and I are headed to Vegas so for now I'm keeping myself at an arms length from all things adoption (except for moving forward on Dreamsicle's room) and just enjoying my family. I hope this week all of my fellow waiting families are able to find peace as well.

Not So Blue

I took it easy this weekend, hung around the house, slept, ate, ate some more. I feel better. The weather is warming up and the sun is shining which I think is helping. So now I'm going to run away from life for a while. McGyver and I, along with U*Haul & Pixie are going to South Padre Island for 8 days. I'm planning on doing nothing but soaking up sunshine and regaining my perspective. I'm headed to the gym-do you think I can lose a size in four days so that I can get into my swimsuit?

Brain Freeze

You know how your face feels after your dentist gives you a shot of novacaine? That's kind of how my brain feels right now. I have had severe tantrums on this here blog o' mine plenty of times in the past about the increase in the wait time. Confirmation that referrals have only been given to families with LID's through May 30th has caused me to have brain freeze. I can't cry, I'm so way past anger and frustration right now that I'm not sure what you would call the emotional state that my brain is in right now. I wonder if this is what PTSS feels like. I have asked the people that had been planning our baby showers to please hold off on sending invitations. I don't think I could enjoy myself right now. The worst part is just not knowing when. I have taken myself off of the DTC boards (frankly I think our June DTC board is probably going to implode anyway. I'm very saddened at how there seems to be two factions of people who never agree on anything but that's all I'm going to say about that) and will probably stop visiting the big board as well. I am so gloriously happy for those that have been waiting all of these months that will be receiving their referrals but at the same time I am selfishly sad. Emotionally I am now planning on receiving our referral in August, with travel in October. It will have taken the CCAA 5 months to send referrals for all of the May families and with a late June LID I guess I had better prepare myself for the long haul. Of course this news comes during the week after we sent Chester back to Kentucky and a day before the anniversary of when we lost Angel baby. I think I'm going to just eat my way through this weekend and maybe I'll wake up on Monday able to feel something.

Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me

Well, it's that time of the month again (no, not that time of the month, geesh). The time of the month where the rumor mill starts churning. People on the June DTC board are absolutely devastated with the latest rumors which everyone "swears" are true. The rumor is that only the rest of May will receive referrals this month. How do ya like that? It really is beginning to look like Dreamsicle will be twelve years old when we get her. Our. referral. is. going. to. take. that. long.
To all of my infertile friends waiting for referrals-I am so sorry. I have 3 boys whom I adore. As bad as this wait is for me, I cannot imagine the pain that all of you are going through. I really cannot imagine. I feel so selfish feeling sorry for lil' old me when I have kids who I can shower with love and affection while you all wait to experience that feeling for the first time in your lives. I ache so badly for all of you. Hold on for a little while longer. Please.

A New Day Dawns

Today has been a better day. The sun is shining and McGyver and I spent the day shopping. I finally found the bedspread for Dreamsicle's room that will tie in the Hawaiian/Frog theme that I am working towards. McGyver came up with a tremendous idea for her headboard as well. Her crib bedding arrived today and I purchased the carpet for her room. So let's add up the purchases I have made in the past two days

1. A kickin' stroller
2. Dreamsicle's second car seat
3. Carpet
4. Bedspread
5. Crib Bedding

Retail Therapy has been successful in lightening my mood for the day. Can't promise what tomorrow will bring (Chester leaves to go back to Kentucky, blech) but I'll take the good days as they come.

I'm no longer comfortable in my own skin

It doesn't fit right any more. I'm not exercising, I'm eating everything in site-including an entire box of those cookies that come out once a year in one sitting. I'm heavier than I have been in years and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. I really don't know how much longer I can go on without Dreamsicle. This wait is becoming endless. People try to say comforting things that really don't comfort but tend to frustrate me, thankfully I've been able to smile and thank them for their effort. (Warning-snarkiness ahead-if it's going to offend you stop reading now)

I get so frustrated when the same people say the same things over and over and over again. Yes , I know that my baby has already been born, no there is no way that we will be getting a newborn baby-trust me-I know this for sure. NO, NO, NO I do not have a picture of my sweet baby yet, NO, NO, NO I do not know when/where we will be traveling. And the big one-I absolutely DO NOT KNOW when I will know these things. That's what is making me so absolutely crazy. If we would have known going into this that the wait would be x months we could have prepared ourselves, but to have the rug pulled out from underneath us half way through is hard. So. Hard. There are even rumors that the end of June LIDs (ours is June 20th)might not get referrals until June or later. Right now I feel like I did back in December-when we were expecting to receive our referral. I just knew that the slowdown back then would be made up for in January so I was still optimistic. Right now we could be on the cusp of receiving our referral, or we could not be. Who knows? Not me.

To ease my pain I went shopping for baby goodies-I spent wayyyyyy too much money but it was the only thing that could take away a little of the anxiety-as crazy as it sounds it makes me feel closer to Dreamsicle.

Please, please, please let referrals come soon and include our LID.

Why/How/When

1. Why oh why did I sign up for a quilt square exchange when I cannot, for the life of me measure correctly? I have had to beg my mother to cut out my squares for me so I am late in sending them to everyone.

2. How can I have cut the knuckle on my finger (notice the word finger, not leg) with my razor so badly that I had to apply pressure and two bandages to make the bleeding stop?

3. Why did I decide that I was going to decorate Dreamsicle's room in a Hawaiian Frog theme? The green I have purchased for the walls does not match any bedding I like.

4. Why did I post my new years resolutions on this blog? Confession time-I have not exercised, ate healthier (except for maybe twice), started on Dreamsicle's room or any of the other things I said I was going to do.

5. How am I ever going to figure out which two pair of shoes to bring to China with me?

6. Why am I still sick? 2 weeks after I first fell ill, I'm still sufferin' (poor me!)

7. When oh when will we receive our Dreamsicle referral?

Dude, Do Ya Want A 'Samich?

I have this never ending need to try to feed homeless people whenever I travel. It all started two years ago in San Francisco when some guy asked me for change. I knew better than to give him money but he really looked hungry so I jumped into the nearest convenience store, bought a sandwich and came back out, intending to give it to him. When I tried to give him the sandwich he ran the other way. For a moment I started running after him, yelling-I bought you a sandwich! Then my common sense kicked in and I stopped. For the next hour I lugged around a sandwich wondering what to do with it. While waiting in line to board a ferry another homeless guy started reciting the declaration of independence, asking for money every so often so when he came near me, I gave him the sandwich. He took it. During the ensuing two years, in whatever major city I am in, I have the never ending desire to feed these folks. Most of the time the person will take the food. Last fall when I was in DC a woman approached me and asked if I would give her money because she was pregnant and needed to eat. Okay-she looked pregnant-like really, really pregnant-so I stopped into the Blimpie and bought her a sub and a carton of milk. When I came back out, she was a few feet away from me. I started to approach her with the food and she literally turned around, running and screaming at me to get away from her. Imagine my surprise when I saw this same woman (still looking very, very pregnant) and she approached me again last week in DC. I kid you not, she looked into my eyes and must have recognized me as the crazy lady from the year before that actually tried to give her food-you could see the recognition cross her face. She immediately turned and ran, screaming in the other direction.

Stuff a Kleenex Up Your Nose

I am sick. Sicker than I have been in a very long time. So sick that I somehow managed to shred the inside of my upper lip because I was too dang tired to bother moving the electric toothbrush around in my mouth and my lip got caught in the spinner thingy. So sick that I didn't remember to rinse the conditioner out of my hair until I attempted to comb it while getting dressed. I stayed home from work yesterday but had a few meetings that I really couldn't miss today so I went in. I ended up losing my voice and left early. On the way home I stopped at my bank to make a deposit. I'm a sneezy, nose blowing fool and I was standing in line behind a little boy and his mother. He watched me for a few minutes then tugged on my pant leg and asked me; why don't you just stuff a kleenex up your nose? Hmmm, why not?

How Boring Am I?

How boring am I? I'm so boring that as I was tooling around on the vast internet reading my favorite blogs I realized that I have been removed from not one, not two, but THREE people's blog roles! Sheesh, what a blow to the old ego. Not much to report though. I'm experiencing a serious case of pity party-ness since we received the news today that referrals were only given through some crazy date like May 25th or May 27th. Can someone please bake Mr CCAA some cookies to butter him up enough to start including more LID's with each referral cycle? Pretty please? Our date with Dreamsicle seems to keep being pushed further and further back. I am becoming more and more convinced that she will be 12 years old by the time we actually get to meet her (I think I may have bought clothes a tad too small) since the wait keeps increasing. It really is hard looking at people month after month and having to explain one more time that no, we do not know when we will receive our referral, no we do not know how old she is,yes we are sure we still want to go through with this. Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

IN OTHER NEWS........

Chester will be coming home next week for 20 days as a recruiter's assistant, he will return to Fort Knox when his Tanker School actually starts this time.

U*Haul just got word that he has been offered a place in the freshman class of his number one pick for college and has been offered a position on the football team! Yeah U*Haul! Please, please, please Mr CCAA man, please allow us to have Dreamsicle home before U*Haul's football games start this fall.

Frozen Tundra Nesting

I am back from California and the weather knows it. Thankfully the weather in Cali was nice, just very, very foggy (which gave me an even greater excuse to visit the spa-too much fog to do much sight seeing...must get massage instead). Now that I am back home, Pig Pen's Sister has once again appeared. I arrived home to fairly mild weather, until yesterday. The storm of '06 emerged. The weather forecast predicted freezing rain and snow but when I woke up the conditions weren't too bad. I drove to work, which is an hour away from my house and throughout the course of the day was treated to Lightning! and Thunder! and Hail! early in the afternoon McGyver called to let me know that if I wanted to sleep in my own bed I needed to head home right then or plan on getting a hotel room here in town since there was already a half an inch of freezing rain on the ground. I packed up and arrived home 2 hours later. The location of our home allows us to be on the same electrical power lines as the Dam near our house so we rarely lose power for more than 10 minutes since the Dam MUST HAVE POWER so we settled in for a long night of relaxation. I felt an overwhelming urge to start putting Dreamsicle's stuff in order. Just as I was preparing to wash the first load of her clothes that I have already purchased the power went out. It came back on almost immediately but continued to go off and come back on minutes later for the better part of the evening. I decided that there would be no clothes washing happening with this kind of crazy thing continuing so I was going to move on to assembling her crib. Just then the power went out again and stayed off. How is a mom to be supposed to nest with no power? Geeze. At that point I was ready to go to bed. Jumped into a sweatsuit and piled a million covers on the bed preparing for a chilly night when who comes in to save the day? McGyver of course! He opened the bedroom door, made his way over to my side of the bed and set down a portable heater. Once he had it lit I asked him what the kids were going to do. He had that covered as well-a fire was already roaring in the fireplace and they were all planning on spending the night in the living room. After having gone to all of that trouble to make sure we were well prepared for the night the power came back on. We don't have a garage and when I woke up this morning I fully expected to have to do some serious ice removal on my vehicle. I was completely blown away when I walked outside to find my vehicle lovingly wrapped in a big blue tarp so all that I had to do was remove the tarp and be on my way.

Pig Pen's Sister

Remember the Charlie Brown character named Pig Pen? The dude that always had the dust cloud follow him? I think I'm his sister. We went to see Chester this weekend. When we arrived on Friday it was 60 degrees. I was in heaven. We woke up on Saturday morning to the balmy temperature of 27 degrees and snow! It continued to snow all through Saturday and in to Sunday when we left. When we hit the state line my cell phone rang. It was Chester. He said "bet you're not in Kentucky anymore are you?" I told him that no as a matter of fact we had just left that great state. He then proceeded to tell me that he could tell-it had just stopped snowing and the sun had started to shine.

I leave for California in two days-just to give any readers in Cali a heads up, please buy an umbrella, Pig Pen's sister is coming to town.

Update on the family

Chester graduates from Phase II of his training on Tuesday. Can you guess where McGyver, Princess and I will be heading next weekend? That's right-to Kentucky where he will be stationed for the next 3-5 months for more school. Anyone know any good hotels/restaurants in the Fort Knox Kentucky area?

U*Haul and I have been visiting colleges. We visited one last week that has been recruiting him pretty heavily to play football for them. Once we toured the campus and talked with the coaches, students and faculty we both felt like this was where he would be able to flourish, not only in football but more importantly academically. On the drive home he told me that he didn't need to tour any more campuses, this was where he wanted to be. We were both pretty excited until the next day when he got the letter in the mail telling him that he has been wait-listed. He applied too late. Please send good thought, prayers, etc his way that he is able to get in.

McGyver is in Texas visiting his Dad this week. He called me from his Dad's boat while they were fishing in the Gulf just to rub in the fact that he is wearing shorts and tank tops and I'm still bundling up in my winter Parka and boots. I keep reminding myself that we will all be down there for Spring Break and I can bask in the sun then.

The boys are out right now picking up Chinese food. We are having Chinese in honor of the Chinese New Year. I had a procedure done yesterday that has left me a little under the weather so my plan to cook us up a big old feast was scaled back to take out food from our local restaurant. In my mind I have been fast forwarding to this time next year when we will be hosting our first Chinese New Year party with Dreamsicle here to help us celebrate.

I knew her when..

McGyver and I went to Vegas a couple of weeks ago. While we were there we visited with my sister, Sugar and her family. Her daughter has been writing and singing her own songs for quite some time. We watched some video of my niece performing and I was completely blown away. So much so that I told my niece I was going to become her stalker aunt. She comes from a family of inherently bad singers so I have no idea where she got that voice from. Upon returning home I received a call from Sugar telling me that my niece's video was released on ITunes! I immediately downloaded it onto my IPOD and now I run around playing her video for everyone that dares come near me. She is amazing. If you have an IPOD, go to ITunes and download the Podcast for Kantalk. You will not be sorry.

Is Zen A State?

If it is, I want to move there. I have been out of town for the past week so imagine my suprise when I checked the big board to learn that JUNE LIDS are in the matching room! That's right boys and girls-the McGyver family will be matched with their Dreamsicle sometime soon! I lost complete control over my emotions when I read that. I did not expect to have the reaction that I did but I immediately started crying and ran downstairs to share the news with McGyver. He got a lil' teary eyed himself and we laughed and cried and held each other tight for quite a while. Since that moment I have had such a sense of peace. It sounds strange but just knowing that sometime probably within the next 30 days our family will be matched with the little girl we have dreamed and prayed about has calmed me. I realize that we will not know the specifics of our sweet Dreamsicle for a few months after that until we actually receive our referral but we will be matched. The most important day of our journey until we actually travel to get her will be happening in a very short while. I love the inner peace and warm feeling I am enveloped in right now and I wish that I could remain in this state right up until we receive our referral. Do you think Mapquest would have directions to Zen?

Come On Baby, Light My Fire

Last week I attended a local conference at a hotel. The meeting was held in the morning so there was a breakfast buffet set up. After feasting on a multitude of goodies from the buffet, the hotel servers started tearing the buffet down. One of the servers started to remove a chafing dish from the table with the intent of placing it on a rolling cart to take away. Somewhere in the middle of picking the chafing dish up off the table and placing it on the cart, the sterno can fell onto the carpeted floor. Now may be a good time to tell you that the sterno can was still LIT! The server panicked when she saw that the carpet was on fire and kicked the can. This resulted in the can rolling across the carpet and landing directly underneath the table linen. While the can was rolling, it was spilling its contents onto the carpet so there was a trail of fire which started at the initial point of contact on the floor and ended at the table linen which began to smolder. After about 30 seconds of watching in disbelief, I ran across the room (in very cute, but very high heels I might add) grabbed the pitcher of water from the table next to the buffet line and threw it on the fire. Others joined in and we were able to douse the fire (along with the poor server who seemed unable to move away from the flames) using the pitchers of water from nearby tables. What a way to start a day.

Insomniac

I. Can't. Sleep. Let me rephrase that-I fall asleep, sleep soundly until 1:00 am and then my eyeballs suddenly open and I cannot get back to sleep. This has been going on for the past 3 weeks and I have tried a variety of remedies-from just laying in bed, to listening to relaxing sounds, to actually getting up and logging in to my company and working. Nothing is helping. If you read my last entry here, I started exercising and eating better again this past week. Part of me was hoping that would help but it hasn't , at least not yet. I only drink one cup of coffee in the morning and have not been drinking anything besides water after that lonely cup o' joe so I am stumped.

So what does lack of sleep do to someone like Mrs. McGyver? Yesterday it caused her to put on one brown shoe and one black shoe (exact same style, just different colors) and not notice it until she stepped foot into the office. This morning she finished her morning routine and began applying hairspray only to realize that she had picked up the wrong can and was spraying mousse instead.

Anyone got any good night sleep tricks?

Positive Thinking

McGyver and I have decided that we need to focus on the positive things in our life right now. Things that we do have a certain level of control over. With that in mind I have come up with the following list of things I want to do for the next 6 months. I'm going to be brave and post them here to help keep me accountable.

1. Eat healthier

2. Exercise regularly-not only do I feel better physically when I exercise, it sure helps alleviate stress.

3. Start on Dreamsicle's room by January 28th

4. Complete Dreamsicle's room by March 15th

5. Complete Dreamsicle's 100 wishes quilt by May 31st (hint to my family on this one-I am still waiting on squares to finish this project)

6. Do something adoption related every week-read a book on attachment, bonding, meet with other adoptive families, etc.

7. Write in my journal every day.

8. Make sure my family knows how much they mean to me every. single. day.

9. Be a better listener and more available to my friends.

10. Tie up all of the loose ends at work so that when I take my Dreamsicle leave I can feel good about the state I left my office in.

This is the year I will become a mother to my daughter, whether that happens in March, May or July it will happen this year. That's the most important thing, right?

Thinking...

I have been thinking alot lately about how much my life has changed in the past 12 months. A year ago McGyver and I made the decision to adopt. 6 months ago our paperwork was logged in in China and I was anxiously anticipating a December gift of Dreamsicle's referral. December is now over and I think about how long the past 6 months has seemed in many ways, and dread the next 5-6 months that lay ahead of us. We received word today from our adoption agency that referrals for January will be through April 20th. I really should know by now that the information floating around on the message boards really is nothing more than rumours. Remember when you were young and played telephone? Or how when you were a teenager your best friend would tell you a secret, swear you to secrecy, you would tell someone else and add a little something to the story and swear that person to secrecy who would tell someone else with another lil' something added when they told the next person and before you knew it what started out as Julie telling Ashley that she made out with Bobby making its way back to Julie that she is now pregnant with twins from her best friends fathers second cousin on her mothers side? Well the message boards are alot like that. They have all been reporting that this next batch of referrals was sure to include at least through May 10th and that the CCAA would certainly send out another batch of referrals at the end of January as well because that is what they did for the past couple of years. Welllllllll, the word we got directly from our adoption agency is that the referrals will be through April 20-long way from May 10th, huh? And the thing that I think people seem to forget is that nothing is the same as it has been. This time last year people were still getting their referrals 6 months after being logged in. Not the case anymore. Our adoption agency has changed its expected wait time from 6 months to 8-9 months but honestly I think that the people in the late May/June/July cycle will be more inclined to see an 11-12 month wait. If the people who will be receiving their referrals next week only consist of those logged in through April 20th just doing some simple math will show that we have a good 5-6 more months of waiting on our hands. Some days I think that as long as I stay busy the time should go by fairly quickly but there are times, especially in the early morning hours when I am the only one awake, that I sit on my couch with my cup of coffee and get misty eyed. I think about the fact that this time of day would be mine and Dreamsicle's to share together, just the two of us. She is alive, she is out there, somewhere, waiting-while I sit half a world away and wait as well...

Merry Christmas!

We celebrated Christmas with Genious, Princess and Pixie yesterday morning-everyone opened their stockings (except me, more on that later) and we exchanged our gifts with them. It was a great morning. The afternoon saw the boys scattered to hither and yon as they attended Christmas-y celebrations with their girlfriends and their families. McGyver told me that he had forgotten to pack my stocking so I was expecting a stocking full o' goodies this morning. That's not quite what happened. We got up this morning, I make my way downstairs to make coffee and see that my stocking has something sticking out of it so I start to smile. The boys all wake up and we gather in the living room to exchange the rest of our gifts. Before we open anything McGyver tells us to take a look around the room and remember this moment because this is the last time our family will look like this. Next year we will definately have Dreamsicle and we may (the Lord willing) have Chester home but odds are that we will not. I then proceed to take the gift that was sticking out of my stocking out and open it-a gift certificate to the mall-great start! I reach my hand in to get the next item and pull out.....peanuts! Thinking that this was a joke I reach in further and pull out....a bottle of coke! I turn to McGyver with a quizzical look on my face and he proceeds to turn red while telling me that he forgot to get stuff for my stocking and was going to use the (insert here the fact that I have not opened any of my gifts, just working on the stocking at this point so I have no idea what any of my gifts are) boys IPOD they got me as a substitute. As soon as he said IPOD U*Haul turns white, Chester just stares at him and X*Boy says-"way to go Dad-thanks". McGyver turned more shades of red than I have ever seen him as he realized that he had just told me what the boys had given me as a gift. Knowing what was in the box didn't curb my enthusiasm as I ripped open the box and my excitement gave McGyver a moment to regain his composure (and his normal color). We proceeded to have a terrific time opening our gifts, made our way to church and spent the afternoon at G's house (my boys name for their grandmother). McGyver and I are now home, so full that we can barely move. Even though my tummy is full, it is nothing compared to the fullness in my heart.

Mish-Mash

I have a bunch of non related stuff swirling around in my head today. Random thoughts, observations, etc. Like....

How thankful I am that I am blessed with such a way cool extended family. Yesterday in the mail I received a nice holiday letter with pictures of my cousin, her husband and her son and a CD of Chinese childrens songs. Beautiful family. My cousin's husband is a GENIOUS when it comes to all things Asian related and they thoughtfully included the english translation of the song titles. Today I have spent my day learning the words to such snappy tunes as "Gum, Gum, Gum, Pancakes" and "Careful The Stove Is Hot". How fun is that?

We had our office Christmas party yesterday. I received a beautiful mirror for Dreamsicle's room. It is custom made and has a variety of items that actually stick to the frame of the mirror (they are magnetized). Things like stars, the sun, a frog and the word "dream" that are moveable. Way, way cool. One of the girls I work with made me a diaper wreath that had all of the little things from my baby registry attached to it. I was so touched. It was like I was having a baby shower for Christmas! Sweetie peas those girls are.

I often wonder how many people actually visit this site. I know that most of my family visits and alot of my friends as well but I rarely get comments. Why is that? My family is anything but shy in real life so I am issuing a challenge-I'm opening up the blog to topics that you want to know more about-anyone up to taking that challenge?

Domestic Gawdess

I think I was abducted by aliens last Friday and Martha Stewart is now living inside my body. When my boys were young, I used to be a baking, cooking machine. Then life got in the way. The boys became self sufficient, my job continued to make greater and greater demands on my time and somehow I stopped baking altogether. The boys have had a running joke for the past couple of years that the favorite dinnertime meal here in the McGyver household is "Find Something". Last Friday on my way home from work my car found its way to the grocery store and before I even realized it my shopping cart was filled with flour, sugar and other assorted baking staples. I began a marathon baking session on Friday night that lasted in to the wee hours of the night. By the time the rest of the family woke up on Saturday morning they were greeted with piles of cookies. 5 different kinds. Saturday morning I started baking again. We are now surrounded with 8 different kinds of cookies and I'm not done yet. I've got a roast in the oven for dinner so the baking extravangaza is on a temporary hiatus until the oven becomes free. There is so much sugar available in this house right now that we are all speaking fast and can't seem to sit down for long, sure hope we can sleep tonight.

Proud mom moment

As I continue to enjoy my son I thought I would post his pic. All of my family IRL will be happy to see this! So the lowdown on what happens next with him for the fam's info....Chester will go back to Camp Pendleton for 3 weeks of training then will proceed to Fort Knox KY for his training (they call it "school")in tanks. This school will last a couple of months. During his training time in KY he will have weekends free so you can bet that McGyver and I will be making some road trips in the near future to spend as much time with him as we can. Not certain where his final destination will be after he finishes school but I'll worry about that when the time comes. While we were in California with Chester we had the opportunity to do some serious retail damage on base. That was fun-even picked up a shirt for Dreamsicle that reads "My brother is a Marine". You can bet I will carry on this retail tradition once Chester gets to Kentucky. He will be receiving his training on an Army base but not the one his cousin is on (thought I would answer that question for the family members who probably had that pop into their head) so I'll do some comparison shopping-Marine base against Army base-hmmmm could be interesting!

Chester's Home

I am sitting here writing this post after waking up with all 3 of my boys here for the first time in months. What a great feeling! Our trip had its share of drama, beginning with our initial flight to California. The gate agent started the boarding process by letting us know that there was a mechanical issue with the plane that should just take a minute to fix. Once we have all boarded the plane the pilot comes over the loud speaker to inform us that "he doesn't like this airplane" and that we have not one, but two mechanical issues that do not appear to be able to be resolved. After making that announcement he informs us that it is up to him whether or not he feels comfortable flying the plane in its current condition and since the weather is good, we are going to attempt the flight. We did eventually make it to California in one piece thank goodness. After we landed we checked into our hotel and then hit the San Diego Zoo. We spent the afternoon with the Lions and Tigers and Bears then headed to the mall to do some shopping. Once we made it back to the hotel that evening our eyes were shut shortly after our heads hit the pillows. We woke up early the next morning and arrived at MCRD in time to see the recruits practicing for the days events. We couldn't pick Chester out because of the distance but it felt great just knowing he was out there on the parade deck somewhere. Later in the morning the recruits all line up for a 4 mile "motivational run". This is the first time that you are actually allowed to be close enough to your recruit that you can see him. They stand in front of you for about 5 minutes while you are allowed to cheer for them before they start their run. Unfortunately, Princess and I are so short that the tall people in front of us blocked our view. McGyver being the thinker that he is finally knew that I was going to crawl out of my skin if I didn't get to see my son so he picked me up and held me in the air so that I was literally head and shoulders above the crowd. I scanned the recruits and finally laid eyes on my son. The tears started and kept coming for the next 5 minutes. He set me down then lifted Princess up so that she could see her man as well. After the run the recruits went to the parade deck where they were awarded the eagle,globe and anchor. This ceremony represents the moment when these guys are no longer considered recruits but officially become marines. After this ceremony we were able to spend 5 hours on base with Chester. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He left our home a boy and there was a man standing in front of me. The transformation was incredible. We went back to the hotel that evening, ordered pizza and just hung out counting down the hours until we would actually have Chester with us. Leaving him on base that evening was difficult but I knew I would have him the following day. The next morning we experienced his graduation ceremony . Words cannot describe the ceremony. It was incredible. After the graduation ceremony Chester was able to finally leave the base for the first time in 3 months. Where does every new Marine want to go after graduation? Disneyland! We loaded up all of his gear and headed to Disney. We spent an enjoyable afternoon and evening there where many, many people approached Chester and told him thank you for his decision to become a Marine. Watching these exchanges was somewhat surreal for me but filled me with pride. (The worry will come later, right now I'm just going to enjoy him while he is here). We left to come back home yesterday and arrived early yesterday evening. Chester was suprised to see a HUGE Welcome Home banner affixed to trees near the entrance of our driveway and was blown away when he walked into the house and found all of his friends there waiting for him. McGyver had videotaped the graduation ceremony and everyone wanted to watch it so we popped the tape in for everyone's viewing pleasure. About half way through the tape Chester asked McGyver why he was taping Gomez. It turns out that McGyver taped the wrong Marine for half of the ceremony! In McGyver's defense-during this ceremony the Marines are a fair distance away, they have their "covers" (hats) pulled low on their heads and both Chester and Gomez were wearing the famous Marine Corps issued glasses. So we have some great video of a kid named Gomez and not so much of Chester. This is just the kind of thing that happens in my family so all we can do is laugh about it. This morning I am sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee, updating my blog and listening to the sound of Chester rec0unting his boot camp stories to his brothers. Life doesn't get much better than this.

And We Are Off!

Tomorrow we leave for San Diego. Land of moderate temperatures and little rain (oh how I hope to be basking in moderate temperatures and little rain since our forecast is calling for 8 inches of snow tonight!) Wednesday Princess, McGyver and I will be traipsing our way merrily through the San Diego Zoo. On Thursday at 8:00 am I will finally lay eyes on my Chester for the first time in 3 1/2 months! I will give you all an update after we fly home with him this weekend but suffice it to say that I am not wearing any button down shirts (the buttons might pop off) for the next few days since my chest is swelling with pride at the fact that my son will graduate from boot camp on Friday and will then be considered a United States Marine! Can you tell how excited and proud I am by the use of many exclamation points in this post?! Woo-Hoo, he made it!

Welcome to Klutzville

Today has already proven to be a challenge for me and it is only 10:00 am. I always keep a glass of water at my desk and for some reason I placed it between my arms while I was working on my computer. I went to grab a file at the edge of my desk and just knocked over an entire glass full of water onto my desk, my body and the floor. Of course it had to be loaded with ice as well so that everyone who works just outside of my office could hear the exhilarating rush of water and ice cubes as it went sailing out of the glass and onto the floor. Earlier this morning I decided to change the decor in my office which meant standing on a chair to remove something from a high shelf. Sounded like a great plan until I realized that the chair I had chosen to stand on had wheels. When did I realize this? When I was reaching far, far away from my body and the chair started rolling in the opposite direction. Needless to say, I needed to call for assistance to wheel my chair back into a reasonable position in order for me to keep from becoming the newest Cirque de Soleil troupe member. I never seem to be able to perform my daring feats of klutziness when I am alone. For some reason I must have an audience. I just had to ask if anyone was going to be ordering lunch so that I could place an order, I'm afraid my wet pants might freeze to my legs if I attempted to go outside right now.

Happy Birthday Angel Baby

Today is not only Chester's birthday but Angel Baby's as well. I don't often talk about Angel Baby on this blog but for some reason today I feel like I should honor him and his life.
Angel Baby and Chester were born on this day in 1986. I carried these boys full term. Angel Baby weighed 7lbs 5 oz and Chester weighed 7lbs when they were delivered. Big healthy babies. From the moment that we brought these guys home from the hospital our house crackled with energy. They were on the same schedule so they did everything together. We had them sleep in separate cribs but the ends of their cribs touched and every morning when I would walk into their room to get them ready for the day I would find both of their little bodies scrunched at the ends of their cribs with their hands in each other's cribs, touching. They used to love spending time in their swings as long as the swings were facing each other. If we timed it so that both of the swings would be on the same swing pattern they would laugh at each other every time the swings got close to each other. Angel Baby and Chester were both snugglers. They loved to be held and would burrow into my shoulder like they just couldn't be close enough. Unfortunately I don't have alot of stories to tell about Angel Baby because he only graced us with his presence for 3 1/2 months. He died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome on March 24, 1987. So today we honor Angel Baby. As difficult as the years without him have been, we choose to remember his birth with joy. Happy Birthday my sweet boy.

A Chesterless Birthday

Today is Chester's birthday. In honor of this day we will be holding a birthday celebration sans Chester. He is still in boot camp. In 5 days McGyver, Princess and I will be winging our way half way across the country to see this man we love so dearly but in the mean time, we will celebrate this day in honor of him. Chester came into this world on December 2nd 1986. He initially had to wait to make an entrance until his identical twin brother-Angel Baby made his presence known. Three minutes after Angel Baby arrived, Chester showed up. From that moment on, our lives have never been the same. Before Angel Baby and Chester were born, there were three of us. McGyver, X*Boy and me. X*Boy was such an easy baby and transitioned quite nicely into a toddler. Life was pretty stable and comfortable for us. With the addition of the twins our lives were filled with an energy that wasn't there before their arrival. Chester exudes a restless kind of energy even sitting still. When he was little he used to have quite a bit of trouble sitting still. One Sunday at church we were taking communion in the pews. Chester ever so carefully took his little glass of grape juice with me quietly reminding him that this was a time to show reverence, to pray silently, and to sit still. Imagine my surprise when I opened my eyes after praying to see Chester, eyes shut tight, little lips moving silently, holding his whole body tight and nothing moving but the glass. Not enough to make the juice spill, just enough to make it move. I sometimes wonder if that was what he was praying for-please don't let me spill this juice, please don't let me spill this juice..When he was in 3rd grade his teacher tried to demand that we give him Rital*in. We had him tested for ADD and he was found to just be an energetic little boy-no meds for him but I wonder if he was the reason that she retired shortly after he moved up to fourth grade. He has always been a dare devil. The kid has never met a roller coaster he didn't like or a hill that couldn't be conquered on a snow board. Chester has such a huge heart. He loves his mama and is not afraid to show it. He is emotionally strong and stable. He is committed to his career choice and if I know my Chester, he has probably helped many of the recruits with his positive attitude and ability to make people laugh. Speaking of laughing-this kid can make me laugh like no one else. He has a great sense of humour. So we will raise our glasses today in honor of Chester and then celebrate like heck with him once we get him home in a week.

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas

My office was closed for the first time ever on the day after Thanksgiving. This has become the most requested day off of the year for the people that work with me. In years past I have walked in on people trying to bribe their supervisors to stretch the no more than two people off per team rule. More tears have been shed for not being allowed to have this day off than when the Pope died. Really. So, this year we decided to close the office. The stress of watching grown women cry at the prospect of not being able to hit the stores at 5:00 am finally got to me. In order to understand what the importance of this day means to so many that work with me, I decided to brave the crowds and shop that day myself. I begged, asked Pixie if she would like to come with me and she enthusiastically agreed (she's really working on the future mother in law points). We set our alarms for 3:00 am to be sure that we were on the road by 4:00 am. That's right-4:00 a.m.-as in- in the morning. Our first stop was going to be one of the big box electronics stores because everyone knows that the day to get the best deals on electronics is the day after Thanksgiving.(See how much I learned from my co-workers?). We pulled into the parking lot at 4:35 in. the. morning. to find the line already stretching two blocks down the street. I looked at Pixie and said-sorry sista-ain't nothin' worth THAT. We got back into our car and made our way to another store on our list. This one was already open at 4:45 in. the. morning. Things were looking good at this store-we were able to walk right into the store, make our selections-giggling to each other as we made our way up to the register about how this was the way to shop when we rounded the corner and hit a wall of people waiting to check out. Not just a wall but a WALL of people. I'm so not patient but Pixie really had snagged herself some good bargains so we decided that I would leave her to fend for herself  wait in line while I ran across the street to another store that was opening at 5:00 am. I struck the motherload there, stayed in contact with Pixie via cell phones and was able to make my purchases, load them into the car and drive back across the street in the time it took her to check out. We then headed to the mall. We actually did get some very, very good deals at the mall-so many in fact that we had to make multiple trips to the car. Alot of what was on my list of things to purchase were not drastically reduced but I decided that I might as well torture myself and get the bulk of my shopping done on this day since I was up and in the city anyway. When we got home we convinced U*Haul and X*Boy to put up the Christmas tree and I spent the rest of the day wrapping presents. I'm 90% done with my shopping which was a good thing. Would I ever do it again? No way. Never.

Party in Da House

Happy Birthday U*Haul! My baby boy is 18 today-where did all of those years go? The baby that came into this world on Thanksgiving day-right after the turkey was eaten and before dessert could be served is all grown up now. It has been such a joy to watch the transformation. U*Haul is one of those rare people that is highly intelligent and has a great deal of common sense. He is very confident and does not feel that he needs to follow the latest trends to fit in. I am so proud of the fact that it does not matter to this kid where his clothes come from, what kind of car he drives, etc. As long as he has clothes on his back and wheels of some sort he's cool. And that's the key-he is cool. The first truck he purchased when he turned 16 was an old rust bucket but he had a vision. He and his dad spent hours painting that thing and when they were finished they held a reveal-imagine my surprise when I went outside to find the old rust bucket painted...camouflage! He proudly drove that thing to school and within days there were other kids who showed up with their vehicles painted camo as well. He is a natural born leader. He never understood that whole pecking order thing-just ask his older brothers. He stands up for what is right-after he graduates I'll post more about that. He is compassionate. He has a big heart. He is my son. Tonight we will be feasting on fondue and chocolate and toasting him with non-alcoholic champagne. Should be a great party. Happy birthday baby boy...

The Floating Playpen of the Redneck Yachtclub

The ever fantabulous McGyver surprised me yesterday with a new computer! I am finally able to post pic's. For your viewing pleasure-the Floating Playpen!

Notice the Tiki torches, permanently mounted grill on the front, and if you look close you can see the green resin stackable chairs. The porta-potty enclosure wasn't up at the time of this picture but is situated at the back of the boat. As I sit here surrounded by 3 feet of snow, I sure wish I was back on that thing!

The Clampett's go to Texas

Remember my post about our trip to Texas in the truck camper? Here is the evidence to back up my story-notice the 2x4 brace?

The Clampett's go to Texas

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I thought it would be a great time to list the things I am thankful for:

1. My family. Really. I have the most amazing group of men that share my life. I have a husband that loves me, 3 boy men that are respectful, compassionate, honest and hard working. My days are filled with laughter at the antics of these guys. There are times when I wonder what I ever did to deserve this kind of love every day of my life.

2. My job. Both Lonny and I are very fortunate in this regard. He own his own business and I work for a place that really cares about its employees.

3. Financial stability.

4. Pixie and Princess. These two women love U*Haul and Chester with their whole hearts-what more could a mom want?

5. My extended family. I am blessed to be able to live a mile away from my mom, my older sister (Sugar) and I crack each other up every time we talk on the phone, my sister in law (Genious) is amazing in the love that she showers on our family. My cousins are an incredible group of women. Anyone that would happen upon these ladies could not help but fall in love with them.

6. My Friends. I have friends that have been in my life since childhood and some that have come later but I could not ask for better people to share experiences with. The highs and the lows, I can count on them to be there for.

7. My health. I still can't believe that the years on the calender say I am as old as I am-I'm healthy and still feel like I'm 25 (thank goodness since we're adopting, huh?)

8. Not starting Dreamsicle's bedroom yet. I know that sounds twisted but I am very thankful that I did not push to start painting/decorating Dreamsicle's room. With the increased wait time it would have killed me to have her nursery ready, just waiting for her arrival. I can now focus on the holidays and start to get her room ready in mid January which should help pass the time.

With all of the people who have suffered through devastation this year, I truly realize how blessed my life really is. Happy Thanksgiving.

Pity Party is Over

I'm over my little hissy fit about delayed referrals. After having some time to absorb the news I am okay. I have immersed myself in retail therapy for the time being. I'm no longer buying clothes or shoes (sorry Mary-Mia) but am purchasing things for her room and other assorted baby items instead. Oh what fun I am having with that.

U*Haul's football team lost their second round playoff game last week. It seems very strange to have watched the last high school football game that anyone from the McGyver family will be a part of. But life moves on...

This week was the birthday of the United States Marine Corps and it is less than a month until we head to San Diego for Chester's graduation!

I was having lunch with my friend B earlier this week (Hi B!)and I was telling her this story-I'm going to try to convey the scene for you and hope that you can picture how absolutely funny it was in real life-when I go to the gym I use the treadmill. I always look at a magazine (which was resting on the acrylic magazine holder on the treadmill) while I am huffing and puffing and sometimes it is rather difficult to turn the pages. So I was going to turn the page but at that exact moment my body had a power surge and instead of gently turning the page, my hand hit the side of the magazine and sent it flying-it flew off of the magazine holder on my treadmill and landed perfectly (on the new page and everything) onto the next treadmill's magazine holder. The lady on that treadmill looked at me and asked if I wanted to share the article with her. We both started laughing so hard that neither one of us could finish our work out.

Lame post, I know, but not much happening right now.

Good vs. Bad

U*Haul's football team winning their first play off game=GOOD

Mrs. McGyver using her foot to flush the public toilet while wearing clogs=BAD

Living in the Midwest in the Fall with all of the beautiful leaves=Good

Blisters on hands from raking beautiful leaves=BAD

Making lasagna for the family for Sunday Dinner=GOOD

Having oven go out half way into the baking process=BAD

Waking up every morning with a back ache from ratty old mattress=BAD

McGyver wanting to cheer up the MRS by buying a new bed=GOOD

Caution: Thick Fog Ahead

Have you ever driven down an unfamiliar road at night when the fog is so thick that you can only see a few inches ahead of your car? The kind of fog that forces you to keep your lights on dim and to travel at a slower than normal rate of speed. The unfamiliarity of the road causes you to grip the steering wheel tighter than normal, to hope that you really are staying on the road and not veering off into a field, a ditch... the other lane. When traveling on this type of night you are forced to concentrate only on your driving, all other thoughts must be pushed away. You look at your clock and can't believe that only minutes have passed since you last checked the time when it feels like you have been traveling for hours due to the stress of the situation.
That's where I am at right now with this adoption. The CCAA has been pretty consistent in issuing referrals 6-7 months after your Log In Date (LID). Until now. We just got an email update from our adoption agency telling us that they are revising the timeline. They are lengthening the estimated time between LID and referral. No one knows for sure why the sudden slow down has occurred, at least no one is sharing the information if they do know. We were expecting our referral in December, January at the latest. It now looks like it will be February, possibly March. The time from referral to travel has lengthened as well. To say that I am devastated right now would be the understatement of the century.
I feel like I really am driving down a road completely blanketed in fog. I can't see forward, the fog is too thick. My lights are on dim and still our movement forward is minimal. What lies ahead is unknown because I can't see through the fog.
Please don't email me and remind me that this will happen when it is supposed to happen, that others have had to wait longer (when China first opened to international adoption, during the SARS stage, etc.) All of those slow downs had reasons behind them. This one doesn't. Our agency is only going to receive referrals for those people with Log In Dates through March. We now have to wait for everyone with LID's in April, May and the first half of June to receive their referrals before it is our turn. I never would have imagined that we very well could be waiting until next Spring to meet Dreamsicle. My heart is aching.

Happy Anniversary McGyver

Today is my anniversary. McGyver and I have been married for 21 years. As I have said in the past, he truly is my best friend. I thought it would be a good time to recount how we came to be Mr & Mrs McGyver because it always makes me smile when I think about how we started...

McGyver and I have known each other our entire lives. We were in the same kindergarten class, lived just a few miles apart and became extremely close as we grew up. My dad considered him to be his second son long before we even thought of getting together as a couple. I would set McGyver up on dates with my friends through out high school and he was the one that I always ran to when some smelly boy broke my heart.

After I graduated I left our small town for the big city and college. Soon after arriving at college I realized that the one person I missed more than (gasp) my boyfriend at the time was my best friend McGyver! I would call him in the middle of the night and cry about the unfairness of not being able to talk to him like I used to. I missed him. His emotional stability, his physical presence, everything. He came to see me at college one weekend and when I saw him standing there at my door, I began crying and realized that I loved him. I mean really, really loved him. As I poured my heart out to him about my feelings he gathered me up in his arms and said it was about time that I came to my senses, he had been waiting his whole life for me to realize it.

He then went away to the Marine Corps and after having been in the Corps for almost a year we couldn't stand being so far away from each other and decided to get married.

We got married 21 years ago today. My heart still skips a beat when he walks into the room, he still provides me with his emotional stability and his unending love and I am so blessed to have this man in my life. I love you McGyver. Thanks for the memories.

Brag Time

Quick Post-Just want to let all of the fam know what's happening...

I need to introduce two more people into our cast of characters-

U*Haul's girlfriend will be known as Pixie (she's just the cutest, teeniest, tiniest little thing you would ever want to see). U*Haul and Pixie have dated since their freshman year. It has been such a privilege to watch these two grow together. Since Pixie has been such a part of our lives for so long we celebrate her victories and mourn her losses just as we would one of our boys. So-Pixie is a cheerleader (of course) and her squad took first place at their cheer competition on Saturday-way to go Pixie!

But wait there's more-U*Haul got word last night that he was named to the All Conference Team for football!!!

Chester's girlfriend will be known as Princess-(she has the keychain to prove it) and is just an adorable, sweet, thing. Princess and Chester were best friends during high school, it wasn't until they both graduated that they realized their was something stronger than friendship in their relationship (sounds alot like McGyver and me but I'll post about that tomorrow)

Princess got a letter from Chester that said that his platoon is currently the Honor Platoon!! This is a big deal in recruit life-it means that your platoon is the best and it is something that they will have to fight to keep for the rest of boot camp. Way to go Chester!

I came into work today and there was an Asian Cabbage Patch Baby waiting for me from some of the people that I work with. Sweet little things, I really am blessed.

Misc. Ramblings

I just returned from San Diego, had a great time but so many funny things happened on this trip that I just had to share...
On my first night in San Diego I was walking down the street when someone literally came running up to me, threw her arms around me, squealing"Mary, OMG, I haven't seen you in forever-why didn't you tell me you were coming to this conference?" after disentangling myself from her grasp-I looked her in the eye and a look of sheer horror washed over her face as she realized that I wasn't Mary.
I was window shopping and had a bird poop in my hair-okay so that part was gross- but when I realized that I was running down the street trying to get back to my hotel as quickly as possible while muttering to myself about how gross this was I was bent over and running sideways I cracked myself up.
I broke the heel off of one of my shoes walking to the conference while crossing a train track and had to limp back to the hotel
The woman and man seated in front of me on the plane had their headphones turned up so loud that they had no idea they were speaking to each other loud enough for the entire plane to hear them, and oh what a conversation it was! Apparently they had not seen each other for a while, let's just leave it at that

The conversation I got into at lunch one day with some other conference attendees about the craziest things that had happened to them while at work-let me just share a few...

One woman had an employee bring in the entire tank of her toilet to show off how she had country painted it
Another one rounded the corner of a row of cubicles after she heard dogs barking-her employee had set up a child's play fence and had 3 puppies in the middle-she just couldn't leave them at home by themselves.
Yet another opened up the coat closet to go home, only to find one of her employees slumbering peacefully on a bed of coats

Fun, fun, fun time

Tidbits

I have done much whining on this blog, and I am sure much more will occur in the future, but today I'm blogging about good stuff.

Chester called Thursday night! Totally unexpected but so, so heartwarming. He sounds good (when he was little he used to have a raspy voice which would melt my heart, he sounds like that right now only deeper voiced) He is handling boot camp very well, said it is not as hard as he had expected. He will be up at Camp Pendleton for the next four weeks so we will not hear from him very often but that one phone call will take me through two weeks I am sure! I am heading out to San Diego tomorrow for a week so I am glad he is further up the coast now so any stalking tendencies that I had in the past are far gone from my mind (in a previous post I had made the decision to attend the conference in Florida instead of California but it was sold out so it is off to San Diego).

When I picked up the mail on Friday we had a letter from waiting for us as well! So one phone call and one letter in the same week makes for a very happy mama!

Friday night U*Haul had a football game. Not just any football game but the game that would decide whether or not his varsity team would make the play offs. THEY WON! So for the first time since 1997 our football team will be in the play offs for high school football. He had a fantastic game, I could watch that kid play ball all day long. It was bittersweet to watch though. Last night's game was the last home game for the graduating seniors and watching those boys take their final walk across their home football field was pretty emotional.

Good things all around.

Update on Chester

As many of you know, I have been feeling pretty blue about the lack of communication we have had with Chester. We received another letter yesterday which brought the total number of letters we have received from him since 9-11-05 to three. It has been hard knowing that the other moms who I have been in contact with who have sons in the same company as Chester have received 8-10 letters. Well, the mystery has been solved. Mr. Social Director of the Year has been unable to write to his momma because he is writing to all of his friends! I am actually okay with this. They have begun to let me know that they are hearing from him and he sounds great. If he is comfortable enough to write letters to his peeps and doesn't need to cry to his momma then I should probably stop worrying about his emotional health and relax. Letting go is tough stuff but I'm learning.

Referral Time Again

Every month I anxiously wait for the referral information to begin pouring in on the adoption sites. I do this for two reasons:
1. Because I must do my part to keep Kleenex in business. Every time I read about people receiving their referrals I cry. People post the most incredibly sweet announcements about their babies and sometimes include pictures. This gives me goose bumps every single month and makes me burst into tears. It really helps keep me moving forward knowing that each month brings us a step closer to Dreamsicle.
2. To torture myself. No really. I mean it. It looks like this latest batch of referrals only goes through the middle of March. We are getting very close to referral since we have a LID of June 20th. BUT-this latest batch of referrals has me more than a little worried. If you calculate what the referrals will look like for November then December based on what happened this month we will not receive our referral until January. I know that this will happen when it is supposed to happen. I know that if there is a delay there is a reason but right now I'm just sad. Blech. Makes me want to cry. But not for the same reason as reason #1.

In other news....
I went to DC on business last week for four days then added a four day trip to New York City for pleasure onto the back of it. I met up with my friend from Savannah Georgia and we had a fantabulous time! She visits NYC often so she was the perfect tour guide. We saw the musical Wicked which I loved. We shopped and ate and walked all over the city, just had a blast. I bought many pair of cute shoes but I do have to say that I am most impressed with you New York women. How ya'll can run around all day long in high heels and still have feet left is beyond me. Don't get me wrong-everyone looks fantastic but I tried to be cool for one evening by wearing my brand new pair of high heel shoes to dinner. By the time we were walking back to the hotel I was begging for a taxi! You guys rock. This midwest girl had to go back to her flats and will gently break all of her shoes in over time.

Yeah!

I am out of town on business for the week, received a call from U*Haul wanting to know if he could OPEN THE LETTER from CHESTER that came in the mail yesterday and read it to me. That's right-the LETTER FROM CHESTER finally came!! He hasn't lost his sense of humor and sounded like things were going as well as could be expected at this point.

My heart can start beating at a normal pace now, my son is doing just fine.

McGyver To The Rescue

Yesterday I had myself convinced that we would get the infamous first letter from Chester. In all of the material that the Marine Corps gave us and on all of the message boards I am now part of the prevailing thought is that the recruits will send the first letter out on the second Sunday of their boot camp and to plan on getting that letter and all letters after that on the Thursday of that week. Are you following me?
I drove like a crazy woman all of the way home. Small children and puppies were quaking in fear as I raced past them in my eagerness to get to my mailbox. I opened my mailbox expecting sunshine and music to come out of it as I pawed through all things non important in my quest for THE LETTER. The only things in there were bills and about 67 gazillion college information packets for U*Haul. No letter, no postcard, nada, zero, zilch from Chester.

I lost it driving up the driveway, stepped out of my car and into McGyver's big old arms crying the entire time. I told him that we still did not have a letter from Chester, he calmly tells me to "get the recruiter's number". I go into the house rummage through Chester's room to find the business card with the number, bring it and the phone back outside to McGyver who quickly gets the recruiter on the phone and the conversation goes something like this...
McGyver-Wife did not receive letter from Chester today as anticipated, would like his address
Recruiter-it typically takes a week to get there Mr McGyver.
McGyver-it is closing in on two weeks and I know you are not trying to tell me that the United States Marine Corps has lost my son are you?
Recruiter-No sir we know right where he is
McGyver-Good, then I expect Mrs. McGyver will know right where to mail the stack of 10 letters that is piling up on my bar in a matter of hours correct?
Recruiter-I will see what I can do
McGyver-I would appreciate that-Mrs. McGyver takes her letter writing seriously and I know other recruits were successful in reaching their families last Wednesday and those families have begun to send letters to their recruits already, we can't have Mrs. McGyver feel like she is not doing her job in supporting Chester now can we?

Two Hours Later-the telephone rings and I have Chester's address.

*Sigh* I love my McGyver

Cast of Characters

I've been thinking for a while of changing the way I refer to everyone in my family. Going by the first letter of their name is pretty boring. Soooo I am going to change all of that now. I need to get out of my funk of missing W so here goes-let's have some fun.

L will be forever known as McGyver (refer to previous threads if you don't know why)

J our oldest son will be called X-boy (for his love of all things computer game related)

W our middle son will go by the name of Chester (the Marine Corps bulldog is known as Chesty but I don't get a visual image of a bulldog whenever I write that so I'm changing it to a more masculine Chester)

D our youngest son will be referred to as U*Haul (D is very active in sports and tends to run on the slow side-over the years he has had more than one coach tell him that he runs like he is pulling a trailer)

Koli will be lovingly called Dreamsicle (one of my best friends always refers to her that way and it has started to stick).

Anyway-still no word from Chester but I think we will get a post card this Thursday and will be able to send the entire stack of letters that is piling up on Friday.

Today is the half way mark of waiting for our referral for Dreamsicle!

X*Boy has a house of his own but has decided to stay with us for a few weeks. I am so happy about this. I miss him even though he only lives 3 miles away from us and it has been so nice reconnecting with him.

U*Haul has been having an excellent football season so far and it has been a pleasure to watch him.

Due to some recent events here in blogland it has got me thinking about the nature of my blog. This blog definately started out as a vehicle to keep our family and friends updated on the adoption process but somewhere along the line it became more of a way for me to communicate with everyone about our entire family, not just the adoption process. Let's face it-there isn't a whole lot to write about during this 6 month waiting period of the adoption. This blog would have dried up and blown away by the time I would have had anything to report on the adoption front. So this is still a vehicle for our family and friends to stay connected, it has just morphed into something larger. Luckily my little blog is still primarily visited by people I know so I haven't had to deal with negative comments from people I don't know, but if you are just stopping by for a visit-welcome! Stop by anytime, just be nice.

Anxious

I'm normally a pretty level headed person but today I am filled with anxiety. When you first get to boot camp you are usually allowed one phone call to let your family know that you arrived safely and to give your loved ones your address where they can begin to send letters. We missed that call, it came during the middle of the day and both L and I were working. They have to call collect so W was not able to leave the information on the answering machine. We are holding out hope that maybe his Drill Instructor will show some compassion and allow those that were unable to reach someone to try again today since it is Sunday but know that the possibility of this happening is very slim. If we do not receive a call today we should receive a post card sometime next week or the week after which will have his address on it.

Most of the time I like to be as informed as possible about anything relating to my family but this is one time that I wish L would not have told me the truth. Having been in the Marine Corps he can tell me the types of things that W is experiencing which normally I would consider a blessing but not about this. I made the mistake of asking L about how W not being able to contact us would make him feel-L was very honest as normal and said one word "devastated". Devastated is filling me with anxiety. When I play this out I can see what he means-those that were able to give their families their address will receive mail two weeks before those that were unable to connect. Ugghhh. Right now at the beginning of this 13 week journey for W is when he needs our support the most and we are unable to give it to him. It. Breaks. My. Heart. I know that he is a man and in the grand scheme of things this is a small set back but right now it feels pretty large.

On a good note-Tuesday will mark the half way point of the "big wait" for our referral and today I was able to purchase Sonia Lee for half price.

Achey Breaky Heart

Today I am a jumble of emotions. We had to take W to the hotel where he would spend the night before winging his way across the country to start boot camp this weekend.

I am not sure how to describe how I feel. L and I were dating when he left for boot camp and I (foolishly) expected to feel many of the same emotions that I felt saying goodbye to L all those years ago as I said goodbye to my son. Boy was I wrong. I certainly felt a tug on the ole' heart strings when L left but this weekend I felt like the ole' heart strings had been pulled together and tied into a knot, which left me little room to breathe inside my chest. This kid has such a strong spirit that you can literally feel him enter a room before you see him. People want to be around him. He is funny, kind, and as I have said before on this blog-unwavering in his decision of his career path. But I am sad. Coming home after leaving him I spent some time in his room-breathing in his scent from his pillow, trying to feel him. I know that we have done a good job in raising him. I know that he is following his dream and tried desperately not to lose my composure in front of him. Because even in the midst of my sadness, my motherly selfishness at not having my son sleeping in his bed tonight, I am proud.

Proud of the choices that he has made in his life up to this point. Proud of his love for his family and his country. And I feel heart swelling pride to soon be able to call my son a United States Marine.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my birthday! It was a terrific day. I was surprised with cake (with candles)and ice cream, gifts from my staff at work, had a long lunch with one of the other adoptive mom's who will most likely be traveling with us to China, and had a nice dinner out with L. As a birthday present to myself I finally registered at Babies R Us for the things we need for Koli. It has been a terrific day and I am so blessed to have the family that I have.

Redneck Camping

This weekend was spent at home. L wanted to start readying the truck camper for his and our oldest son J's upcoming hunting trip. As I looked at the truck camper, it got me thinking of the last trip that involved me actually inside that camper. A few years ago L decided that rather than pull our 5th wheel down to Texas to visit his father for a vacation, we would simply take his truck camper to allow for more people to be able to help drive. Not only did the 5 of us make the trip (me and L and our 3 sons) but L's sister came along as well. We have a single cab truck so at any given time there were 4 people in the truck camper.

We were heading down to spend Christmas with my father in law and happened to pick the evening of my company Christmas party to leave. We came up with the plan that L and I would attend my party and his sister S would meet us outside of the entertainment complex at a pre determined time with the truck and camper and we would leave from there. My Christmas party is always held at a very swanky venue which causes us to have to dress up for the event. As the time drew near for us to leave, many of the people that work with me started looking out the windows, watching for the Clampett mobile to pull up and for us to make our exit. L's sister called us on our cell phone to tell us that she was getting close, we made our get away just as she was pulling into a no parking spot. We both quickly jumped into the truck, sister in law jumped in the back with the boys (in the camper)and took off. Because of how I was dressed I was forced to change out of my Holiday outfit into my sweats in the cab of the truck. This led to a few truckers having a show they didn't bargain for as I wrestled out of a cocktail dress and nylons and into my sweat suit but I decided to make myself feel better by reminding myself that I would never see them again (that is until we stopped for gas and one of the trucks pulled into the same station).

Over the course of the next 26 hours we all took turns driving or riding in the front or sleeping/watching movies in the camper. It was during my last turn to be up in the bed above the cab of the truck that trouble struck. As I was drifting off to sleep, I suddenly started hearing the distinct sound of metal pinging against metal. I asked the boys who all happened to be in the back with me if they heard the noise and they all said no. After many sessions of "shushing" to get them to really listen they all agreed that something sounded kind of strange. We had two way radios both in the cab of the truck and in the camper so I two wayed L to let him know of my growing concern for the funny "pinging" noise that I was hearing. By this time it was raining quite hard outside and he convinced me that what I was hearing was hail hitting the camper roof. I wasn't completely convinced and jokingly told the boys that if the front of the camper came off to make sure they grabbed their Momma by the foot before she rolled onto the hood of the truck. We all laughed and shortly after that arrived at my father in laws home. It was nearly midnight so we just grabbed our gear and headed into his home to sleep for the night.

In the morning we got up to go to breakfast and planned on taking our truck so that we could all ride together. When we approached the truck we quickly realized that the ping, ping, ping I had heard for the last 4 hours of our trip was actually the rivets popping out of the metal in the top of the camper!

At this point I was fairly convinced that the boys and I would be making our way home on an airplane while L and his sister would drive the truck home since there was no way we could ride back there. Well, my Mr. McGyver had a different idea. McGyver and McGyver Senior (his dad) put their heads together, shoo'ed us all away for a few hours and "fixed" the camper. We returned to find a 2x4 drilled into the bottom of the camper that rests on the truck cab, metal strips climbing up each side of the front of the camper that were riveted into the sides of the camper to hold it and another 2x4 on the top of the camper that had the ends of the metal riveted into it for support. If I ever get my pictures to upload onto this site I will post a pic for your viewing pleasure.

Imagine traveling half way across the country to get back home in this contraption. It stayed together-although I refused to allow anyone to ride up in the top bed of the camper all the way home. We received many honks, witnessed carloads of people in hysterical laughing fits as they drove by us and watched one car almost get into an accident as the driver craned his neck too far trying to watch us instead of the road.

That was my one and only time of Redneck camping, next time we want to make that trip-I think I'll fly.

I have, have you?

Shortly after my father passed away a year ago, my Mom's house burned. To. The. Ground. This house was my childhood home. The only place I had ever known to call home, the place that carried all of the memories of our family. All of that was lost one sunny summer afternoon. The feelings of despair and unrest that coursed through my body as we sorted through the rubble are surfacing again as I watch the devastation that has happened along the coast. My mom lost her home and most of her belongings, but we knew she would survive. She immediately moved in with us, we were able to provide her with shelter and food and comfort and most importantly, hope. We were able to begin making plans to rebuild her home, her life, her future within a very short time. She still had the land on which her house had stood. Her well was still good and she had her family.

There are so many people, so many families, that have lost their homes, their memories, their loved ones over the course of the last week. Uncertain futures, pleading for food and water, grieving over their losses. Imagine that feeling folks. When you are finished imagining what that must feel like, do something.

Please Give-give until it hurts. Please. I have-have you?

REDCROSS.ORG