RAMBLINGS OF A MIXED UP MAMA

This is the ongoing story of faith, love and family as we walk through this life with 3 sons, one daughter, one daughter in law and one grandson

Monday, September 12, 2005

Achey Breaky Heart

Today I am a jumble of emotions. We had to take W to the hotel where he would spend the night before winging his way across the country to start boot camp this weekend.

I am not sure how to describe how I feel. L and I were dating when he left for boot camp and I (foolishly) expected to feel many of the same emotions that I felt saying goodbye to L all those years ago as I said goodbye to my son. Boy was I wrong. I certainly felt a tug on the ole' heart strings when L left but this weekend I felt like the ole' heart strings had been pulled together and tied into a knot, which left me little room to breathe inside my chest. This kid has such a strong spirit that you can literally feel him enter a room before you see him. People want to be around him. He is funny, kind, and as I have said before on this blog-unwavering in his decision of his career path. But I am sad. Coming home after leaving him I spent some time in his room-breathing in his scent from his pillow, trying to feel him. I know that we have done a good job in raising him. I know that he is following his dream and tried desperately not to lose my composure in front of him. Because even in the midst of my sadness, my motherly selfishness at not having my son sleeping in his bed tonight, I am proud.

Proud of the choices that he has made in his life up to this point. Proud of his love for his family and his country. And I feel heart swelling pride to soon be able to call my son a United States Marine.

4 comments:

Stacey Teague said...

Your post made me cry....as the mom of a son, I don't know how I would feel if Austin made the choice to become a serviceman. Proud, yes. Sad, DEFINITELY! I will be thinking of you!!!!

Kelly said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am very humbled by the service these wonderful young men and women give our country. Thank you for raising such a brave son. I had two boys 9, and 13 and my heart just breaks thinking of what you are going through.

April :) said...

Dearest Suzi ~ My heart aches for you! This has got to be one of the hardest times, letting them fly on their own. Remember that "God is in control!"... I know, comforting yes ~ but... ahhhhhhhh...
"Mother's hold their children's hands a while, and their heart's...
FOREVER"
Your in my prayers
XOXOXO

April :) said...

Dearest Suzi ~ My heart aches for you! This has got to be one of the hardest times, letting them fly on their own. Remember that "God is in control!"... I know, comforting yes ~ but... ahhhhhhhh...
"Mother's hold their children's hands a while, and their heart's...
FOREVER"
Your in my prayers
XOXOXO

About Me

I am a Christian woman, the wife of an outdoorsman and mom to a computer loving twenty something guy, a Marine, a Sailor and a three year old Princess who rules the roost and has all of us wrapped around her little finger. Add into the mix a daughter in love and the cutest grandson in the world and you have our big old house of love