RAMBLINGS OF A MIXED UP MAMA

This is the ongoing story of faith, love and family as we walk through this life with 3 sons, one daughter, one daughter in law and one grandson

Friday, March 17, 2006

I'm no longer comfortable in my own skin

It doesn't fit right any more. I'm not exercising, I'm eating everything in site-including an entire box of those cookies that come out once a year in one sitting. I'm heavier than I have been in years and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. I really don't know how much longer I can go on without Dreamsicle. This wait is becoming endless. People try to say comforting things that really don't comfort but tend to frustrate me, thankfully I've been able to smile and thank them for their effort. (Warning-snarkiness ahead-if it's going to offend you stop reading now)

I get so frustrated when the same people say the same things over and over and over again. Yes , I know that my baby has already been born, no there is no way that we will be getting a newborn baby-trust me-I know this for sure. NO, NO, NO I do not have a picture of my sweet baby yet, NO, NO, NO I do not know when/where we will be traveling. And the big one-I absolutely DO NOT KNOW when I will know these things. That's what is making me so absolutely crazy. If we would have known going into this that the wait would be x months we could have prepared ourselves, but to have the rug pulled out from underneath us half way through is hard. So. Hard. There are even rumors that the end of June LIDs (ours is June 20th)might not get referrals until June or later. Right now I feel like I did back in December-when we were expecting to receive our referral. I just knew that the slowdown back then would be made up for in January so I was still optimistic. Right now we could be on the cusp of receiving our referral, or we could not be. Who knows? Not me.

To ease my pain I went shopping for baby goodies-I spent wayyyyyy too much money but it was the only thing that could take away a little of the anxiety-as crazy as it sounds it makes me feel closer to Dreamsicle.

Please, please, please let referrals come soon and include our LID.

1 comment:

April :) said...

Wouldn't it be great if God would just leave a message on the answering machine ~ you know, when it's a major issue???
Hang in there... I'm sorry your going CRAZY and hurting! Your in my thoughts & prayers :)
Hold on Dreamsickle ~ Mama's coming

About Me

I am a Christian woman, the wife of an outdoorsman and mom to a computer loving twenty something guy, a Marine, a Sailor and a three year old Princess who rules the roost and has all of us wrapped around her little finger. Add into the mix a daughter in love and the cutest grandson in the world and you have our big old house of love