Thinking...

I have been thinking alot lately about how much my life has changed in the past 12 months. A year ago McGyver and I made the decision to adopt. 6 months ago our paperwork was logged in in China and I was anxiously anticipating a December gift of Dreamsicle's referral. December is now over and I think about how long the past 6 months has seemed in many ways, and dread the next 5-6 months that lay ahead of us. We received word today from our adoption agency that referrals for January will be through April 20th. I really should know by now that the information floating around on the message boards really is nothing more than rumours. Remember when you were young and played telephone? Or how when you were a teenager your best friend would tell you a secret, swear you to secrecy, you would tell someone else and add a little something to the story and swear that person to secrecy who would tell someone else with another lil' something added when they told the next person and before you knew it what started out as Julie telling Ashley that she made out with Bobby making its way back to Julie that she is now pregnant with twins from her best friends fathers second cousin on her mothers side? Well the message boards are alot like that. They have all been reporting that this next batch of referrals was sure to include at least through May 10th and that the CCAA would certainly send out another batch of referrals at the end of January as well because that is what they did for the past couple of years. Welllllllll, the word we got directly from our adoption agency is that the referrals will be through April 20-long way from May 10th, huh? And the thing that I think people seem to forget is that nothing is the same as it has been. This time last year people were still getting their referrals 6 months after being logged in. Not the case anymore. Our adoption agency has changed its expected wait time from 6 months to 8-9 months but honestly I think that the people in the late May/June/July cycle will be more inclined to see an 11-12 month wait. If the people who will be receiving their referrals next week only consist of those logged in through April 20th just doing some simple math will show that we have a good 5-6 more months of waiting on our hands. Some days I think that as long as I stay busy the time should go by fairly quickly but there are times, especially in the early morning hours when I am the only one awake, that I sit on my couch with my cup of coffee and get misty eyed. I think about the fact that this time of day would be mine and Dreamsicle's to share together, just the two of us. She is alive, she is out there, somewhere, waiting-while I sit half a world away and wait as well...

Merry Christmas!

We celebrated Christmas with Genious, Princess and Pixie yesterday morning-everyone opened their stockings (except me, more on that later) and we exchanged our gifts with them. It was a great morning. The afternoon saw the boys scattered to hither and yon as they attended Christmas-y celebrations with their girlfriends and their families. McGyver told me that he had forgotten to pack my stocking so I was expecting a stocking full o' goodies this morning. That's not quite what happened. We got up this morning, I make my way downstairs to make coffee and see that my stocking has something sticking out of it so I start to smile. The boys all wake up and we gather in the living room to exchange the rest of our gifts. Before we open anything McGyver tells us to take a look around the room and remember this moment because this is the last time our family will look like this. Next year we will definately have Dreamsicle and we may (the Lord willing) have Chester home but odds are that we will not. I then proceed to take the gift that was sticking out of my stocking out and open it-a gift certificate to the mall-great start! I reach my hand in to get the next item and pull out.....peanuts! Thinking that this was a joke I reach in further and pull out....a bottle of coke! I turn to McGyver with a quizzical look on my face and he proceeds to turn red while telling me that he forgot to get stuff for my stocking and was going to use the (insert here the fact that I have not opened any of my gifts, just working on the stocking at this point so I have no idea what any of my gifts are) boys IPOD they got me as a substitute. As soon as he said IPOD U*Haul turns white, Chester just stares at him and X*Boy says-"way to go Dad-thanks". McGyver turned more shades of red than I have ever seen him as he realized that he had just told me what the boys had given me as a gift. Knowing what was in the box didn't curb my enthusiasm as I ripped open the box and my excitement gave McGyver a moment to regain his composure (and his normal color). We proceeded to have a terrific time opening our gifts, made our way to church and spent the afternoon at G's house (my boys name for their grandmother). McGyver and I are now home, so full that we can barely move. Even though my tummy is full, it is nothing compared to the fullness in my heart.

Mish-Mash

I have a bunch of non related stuff swirling around in my head today. Random thoughts, observations, etc. Like....

How thankful I am that I am blessed with such a way cool extended family. Yesterday in the mail I received a nice holiday letter with pictures of my cousin, her husband and her son and a CD of Chinese childrens songs. Beautiful family. My cousin's husband is a GENIOUS when it comes to all things Asian related and they thoughtfully included the english translation of the song titles. Today I have spent my day learning the words to such snappy tunes as "Gum, Gum, Gum, Pancakes" and "Careful The Stove Is Hot". How fun is that?

We had our office Christmas party yesterday. I received a beautiful mirror for Dreamsicle's room. It is custom made and has a variety of items that actually stick to the frame of the mirror (they are magnetized). Things like stars, the sun, a frog and the word "dream" that are moveable. Way, way cool. One of the girls I work with made me a diaper wreath that had all of the little things from my baby registry attached to it. I was so touched. It was like I was having a baby shower for Christmas! Sweetie peas those girls are.

I often wonder how many people actually visit this site. I know that most of my family visits and alot of my friends as well but I rarely get comments. Why is that? My family is anything but shy in real life so I am issuing a challenge-I'm opening up the blog to topics that you want to know more about-anyone up to taking that challenge?

Domestic Gawdess

I think I was abducted by aliens last Friday and Martha Stewart is now living inside my body. When my boys were young, I used to be a baking, cooking machine. Then life got in the way. The boys became self sufficient, my job continued to make greater and greater demands on my time and somehow I stopped baking altogether. The boys have had a running joke for the past couple of years that the favorite dinnertime meal here in the McGyver household is "Find Something". Last Friday on my way home from work my car found its way to the grocery store and before I even realized it my shopping cart was filled with flour, sugar and other assorted baking staples. I began a marathon baking session on Friday night that lasted in to the wee hours of the night. By the time the rest of the family woke up on Saturday morning they were greeted with piles of cookies. 5 different kinds. Saturday morning I started baking again. We are now surrounded with 8 different kinds of cookies and I'm not done yet. I've got a roast in the oven for dinner so the baking extravangaza is on a temporary hiatus until the oven becomes free. There is so much sugar available in this house right now that we are all speaking fast and can't seem to sit down for long, sure hope we can sleep tonight.

Proud mom moment

As I continue to enjoy my son I thought I would post his pic. All of my family IRL will be happy to see this! So the lowdown on what happens next with him for the fam's info....Chester will go back to Camp Pendleton for 3 weeks of training then will proceed to Fort Knox KY for his training (they call it "school")in tanks. This school will last a couple of months. During his training time in KY he will have weekends free so you can bet that McGyver and I will be making some road trips in the near future to spend as much time with him as we can. Not certain where his final destination will be after he finishes school but I'll worry about that when the time comes. While we were in California with Chester we had the opportunity to do some serious retail damage on base. That was fun-even picked up a shirt for Dreamsicle that reads "My brother is a Marine". You can bet I will carry on this retail tradition once Chester gets to Kentucky. He will be receiving his training on an Army base but not the one his cousin is on (thought I would answer that question for the family members who probably had that pop into their head) so I'll do some comparison shopping-Marine base against Army base-hmmmm could be interesting!

Chester's Home

I am sitting here writing this post after waking up with all 3 of my boys here for the first time in months. What a great feeling! Our trip had its share of drama, beginning with our initial flight to California. The gate agent started the boarding process by letting us know that there was a mechanical issue with the plane that should just take a minute to fix. Once we have all boarded the plane the pilot comes over the loud speaker to inform us that "he doesn't like this airplane" and that we have not one, but two mechanical issues that do not appear to be able to be resolved. After making that announcement he informs us that it is up to him whether or not he feels comfortable flying the plane in its current condition and since the weather is good, we are going to attempt the flight. We did eventually make it to California in one piece thank goodness. After we landed we checked into our hotel and then hit the San Diego Zoo. We spent the afternoon with the Lions and Tigers and Bears then headed to the mall to do some shopping. Once we made it back to the hotel that evening our eyes were shut shortly after our heads hit the pillows. We woke up early the next morning and arrived at MCRD in time to see the recruits practicing for the days events. We couldn't pick Chester out because of the distance but it felt great just knowing he was out there on the parade deck somewhere. Later in the morning the recruits all line up for a 4 mile "motivational run". This is the first time that you are actually allowed to be close enough to your recruit that you can see him. They stand in front of you for about 5 minutes while you are allowed to cheer for them before they start their run. Unfortunately, Princess and I are so short that the tall people in front of us blocked our view. McGyver being the thinker that he is finally knew that I was going to crawl out of my skin if I didn't get to see my son so he picked me up and held me in the air so that I was literally head and shoulders above the crowd. I scanned the recruits and finally laid eyes on my son. The tears started and kept coming for the next 5 minutes. He set me down then lifted Princess up so that she could see her man as well. After the run the recruits went to the parade deck where they were awarded the eagle,globe and anchor. This ceremony represents the moment when these guys are no longer considered recruits but officially become marines. After this ceremony we were able to spend 5 hours on base with Chester. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He left our home a boy and there was a man standing in front of me. The transformation was incredible. We went back to the hotel that evening, ordered pizza and just hung out counting down the hours until we would actually have Chester with us. Leaving him on base that evening was difficult but I knew I would have him the following day. The next morning we experienced his graduation ceremony . Words cannot describe the ceremony. It was incredible. After the graduation ceremony Chester was able to finally leave the base for the first time in 3 months. Where does every new Marine want to go after graduation? Disneyland! We loaded up all of his gear and headed to Disney. We spent an enjoyable afternoon and evening there where many, many people approached Chester and told him thank you for his decision to become a Marine. Watching these exchanges was somewhat surreal for me but filled me with pride. (The worry will come later, right now I'm just going to enjoy him while he is here). We left to come back home yesterday and arrived early yesterday evening. Chester was suprised to see a HUGE Welcome Home banner affixed to trees near the entrance of our driveway and was blown away when he walked into the house and found all of his friends there waiting for him. McGyver had videotaped the graduation ceremony and everyone wanted to watch it so we popped the tape in for everyone's viewing pleasure. About half way through the tape Chester asked McGyver why he was taping Gomez. It turns out that McGyver taped the wrong Marine for half of the ceremony! In McGyver's defense-during this ceremony the Marines are a fair distance away, they have their "covers" (hats) pulled low on their heads and both Chester and Gomez were wearing the famous Marine Corps issued glasses. So we have some great video of a kid named Gomez and not so much of Chester. This is just the kind of thing that happens in my family so all we can do is laugh about it. This morning I am sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee, updating my blog and listening to the sound of Chester rec0unting his boot camp stories to his brothers. Life doesn't get much better than this.

And We Are Off!

Tomorrow we leave for San Diego. Land of moderate temperatures and little rain (oh how I hope to be basking in moderate temperatures and little rain since our forecast is calling for 8 inches of snow tonight!) Wednesday Princess, McGyver and I will be traipsing our way merrily through the San Diego Zoo. On Thursday at 8:00 am I will finally lay eyes on my Chester for the first time in 3 1/2 months! I will give you all an update after we fly home with him this weekend but suffice it to say that I am not wearing any button down shirts (the buttons might pop off) for the next few days since my chest is swelling with pride at the fact that my son will graduate from boot camp on Friday and will then be considered a United States Marine! Can you tell how excited and proud I am by the use of many exclamation points in this post?! Woo-Hoo, he made it!

Welcome to Klutzville

Today has already proven to be a challenge for me and it is only 10:00 am. I always keep a glass of water at my desk and for some reason I placed it between my arms while I was working on my computer. I went to grab a file at the edge of my desk and just knocked over an entire glass full of water onto my desk, my body and the floor. Of course it had to be loaded with ice as well so that everyone who works just outside of my office could hear the exhilarating rush of water and ice cubes as it went sailing out of the glass and onto the floor. Earlier this morning I decided to change the decor in my office which meant standing on a chair to remove something from a high shelf. Sounded like a great plan until I realized that the chair I had chosen to stand on had wheels. When did I realize this? When I was reaching far, far away from my body and the chair started rolling in the opposite direction. Needless to say, I needed to call for assistance to wheel my chair back into a reasonable position in order for me to keep from becoming the newest Cirque de Soleil troupe member. I never seem to be able to perform my daring feats of klutziness when I am alone. For some reason I must have an audience. I just had to ask if anyone was going to be ordering lunch so that I could place an order, I'm afraid my wet pants might freeze to my legs if I attempted to go outside right now.

Happy Birthday Angel Baby

Today is not only Chester's birthday but Angel Baby's as well. I don't often talk about Angel Baby on this blog but for some reason today I feel like I should honor him and his life.
Angel Baby and Chester were born on this day in 1986. I carried these boys full term. Angel Baby weighed 7lbs 5 oz and Chester weighed 7lbs when they were delivered. Big healthy babies. From the moment that we brought these guys home from the hospital our house crackled with energy. They were on the same schedule so they did everything together. We had them sleep in separate cribs but the ends of their cribs touched and every morning when I would walk into their room to get them ready for the day I would find both of their little bodies scrunched at the ends of their cribs with their hands in each other's cribs, touching. They used to love spending time in their swings as long as the swings were facing each other. If we timed it so that both of the swings would be on the same swing pattern they would laugh at each other every time the swings got close to each other. Angel Baby and Chester were both snugglers. They loved to be held and would burrow into my shoulder like they just couldn't be close enough. Unfortunately I don't have alot of stories to tell about Angel Baby because he only graced us with his presence for 3 1/2 months. He died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome on March 24, 1987. So today we honor Angel Baby. As difficult as the years without him have been, we choose to remember his birth with joy. Happy Birthday my sweet boy.

A Chesterless Birthday

Today is Chester's birthday. In honor of this day we will be holding a birthday celebration sans Chester. He is still in boot camp. In 5 days McGyver, Princess and I will be winging our way half way across the country to see this man we love so dearly but in the mean time, we will celebrate this day in honor of him. Chester came into this world on December 2nd 1986. He initially had to wait to make an entrance until his identical twin brother-Angel Baby made his presence known. Three minutes after Angel Baby arrived, Chester showed up. From that moment on, our lives have never been the same. Before Angel Baby and Chester were born, there were three of us. McGyver, X*Boy and me. X*Boy was such an easy baby and transitioned quite nicely into a toddler. Life was pretty stable and comfortable for us. With the addition of the twins our lives were filled with an energy that wasn't there before their arrival. Chester exudes a restless kind of energy even sitting still. When he was little he used to have quite a bit of trouble sitting still. One Sunday at church we were taking communion in the pews. Chester ever so carefully took his little glass of grape juice with me quietly reminding him that this was a time to show reverence, to pray silently, and to sit still. Imagine my surprise when I opened my eyes after praying to see Chester, eyes shut tight, little lips moving silently, holding his whole body tight and nothing moving but the glass. Not enough to make the juice spill, just enough to make it move. I sometimes wonder if that was what he was praying for-please don't let me spill this juice, please don't let me spill this juice..When he was in 3rd grade his teacher tried to demand that we give him Rital*in. We had him tested for ADD and he was found to just be an energetic little boy-no meds for him but I wonder if he was the reason that she retired shortly after he moved up to fourth grade. He has always been a dare devil. The kid has never met a roller coaster he didn't like or a hill that couldn't be conquered on a snow board. Chester has such a huge heart. He loves his mama and is not afraid to show it. He is emotionally strong and stable. He is committed to his career choice and if I know my Chester, he has probably helped many of the recruits with his positive attitude and ability to make people laugh. Speaking of laughing-this kid can make me laugh like no one else. He has a great sense of humour. So we will raise our glasses today in honor of Chester and then celebrate like heck with him once we get him home in a week.

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas

My office was closed for the first time ever on the day after Thanksgiving. This has become the most requested day off of the year for the people that work with me. In years past I have walked in on people trying to bribe their supervisors to stretch the no more than two people off per team rule. More tears have been shed for not being allowed to have this day off than when the Pope died. Really. So, this year we decided to close the office. The stress of watching grown women cry at the prospect of not being able to hit the stores at 5:00 am finally got to me. In order to understand what the importance of this day means to so many that work with me, I decided to brave the crowds and shop that day myself. I begged, asked Pixie if she would like to come with me and she enthusiastically agreed (she's really working on the future mother in law points). We set our alarms for 3:00 am to be sure that we were on the road by 4:00 am. That's right-4:00 a.m.-as in- in the morning. Our first stop was going to be one of the big box electronics stores because everyone knows that the day to get the best deals on electronics is the day after Thanksgiving.(See how much I learned from my co-workers?). We pulled into the parking lot at 4:35 in. the. morning. to find the line already stretching two blocks down the street. I looked at Pixie and said-sorry sista-ain't nothin' worth THAT. We got back into our car and made our way to another store on our list. This one was already open at 4:45 in. the. morning. Things were looking good at this store-we were able to walk right into the store, make our selections-giggling to each other as we made our way up to the register about how this was the way to shop when we rounded the corner and hit a wall of people waiting to check out. Not just a wall but a WALL of people. I'm so not patient but Pixie really had snagged herself some good bargains so we decided that I would leave her to fend for herself  wait in line while I ran across the street to another store that was opening at 5:00 am. I struck the motherload there, stayed in contact with Pixie via cell phones and was able to make my purchases, load them into the car and drive back across the street in the time it took her to check out. We then headed to the mall. We actually did get some very, very good deals at the mall-so many in fact that we had to make multiple trips to the car. Alot of what was on my list of things to purchase were not drastically reduced but I decided that I might as well torture myself and get the bulk of my shopping done on this day since I was up and in the city anyway. When we got home we convinced U*Haul and X*Boy to put up the Christmas tree and I spent the rest of the day wrapping presents. I'm 90% done with my shopping which was a good thing. Would I ever do it again? No way. Never.

Party in Da House

Happy Birthday U*Haul! My baby boy is 18 today-where did all of those years go? The baby that came into this world on Thanksgiving day-right after the turkey was eaten and before dessert could be served is all grown up now. It has been such a joy to watch the transformation. U*Haul is one of those rare people that is highly intelligent and has a great deal of common sense. He is very confident and does not feel that he needs to follow the latest trends to fit in. I am so proud of the fact that it does not matter to this kid where his clothes come from, what kind of car he drives, etc. As long as he has clothes on his back and wheels of some sort he's cool. And that's the key-he is cool. The first truck he purchased when he turned 16 was an old rust bucket but he had a vision. He and his dad spent hours painting that thing and when they were finished they held a reveal-imagine my surprise when I went outside to find the old rust bucket painted...camouflage! He proudly drove that thing to school and within days there were other kids who showed up with their vehicles painted camo as well. He is a natural born leader. He never understood that whole pecking order thing-just ask his older brothers. He stands up for what is right-after he graduates I'll post more about that. He is compassionate. He has a big heart. He is my son. Tonight we will be feasting on fondue and chocolate and toasting him with non-alcoholic champagne. Should be a great party. Happy birthday baby boy...

The Floating Playpen of the Redneck Yachtclub

The ever fantabulous McGyver surprised me yesterday with a new computer! I am finally able to post pic's. For your viewing pleasure-the Floating Playpen!

Notice the Tiki torches, permanently mounted grill on the front, and if you look close you can see the green resin stackable chairs. The porta-potty enclosure wasn't up at the time of this picture but is situated at the back of the boat. As I sit here surrounded by 3 feet of snow, I sure wish I was back on that thing!

The Clampett's go to Texas

Remember my post about our trip to Texas in the truck camper? Here is the evidence to back up my story-notice the 2x4 brace?

The Clampett's go to Texas

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I thought it would be a great time to list the things I am thankful for:

1. My family. Really. I have the most amazing group of men that share my life. I have a husband that loves me, 3 boy men that are respectful, compassionate, honest and hard working. My days are filled with laughter at the antics of these guys. There are times when I wonder what I ever did to deserve this kind of love every day of my life.

2. My job. Both Lonny and I are very fortunate in this regard. He own his own business and I work for a place that really cares about its employees.

3. Financial stability.

4. Pixie and Princess. These two women love U*Haul and Chester with their whole hearts-what more could a mom want?

5. My extended family. I am blessed to be able to live a mile away from my mom, my older sister (Sugar) and I crack each other up every time we talk on the phone, my sister in law (Genious) is amazing in the love that she showers on our family. My cousins are an incredible group of women. Anyone that would happen upon these ladies could not help but fall in love with them.

6. My Friends. I have friends that have been in my life since childhood and some that have come later but I could not ask for better people to share experiences with. The highs and the lows, I can count on them to be there for.

7. My health. I still can't believe that the years on the calender say I am as old as I am-I'm healthy and still feel like I'm 25 (thank goodness since we're adopting, huh?)

8. Not starting Dreamsicle's bedroom yet. I know that sounds twisted but I am very thankful that I did not push to start painting/decorating Dreamsicle's room. With the increased wait time it would have killed me to have her nursery ready, just waiting for her arrival. I can now focus on the holidays and start to get her room ready in mid January which should help pass the time.

With all of the people who have suffered through devastation this year, I truly realize how blessed my life really is. Happy Thanksgiving.

Pity Party is Over

I'm over my little hissy fit about delayed referrals. After having some time to absorb the news I am okay. I have immersed myself in retail therapy for the time being. I'm no longer buying clothes or shoes (sorry Mary-Mia) but am purchasing things for her room and other assorted baby items instead. Oh what fun I am having with that.

U*Haul's football team lost their second round playoff game last week. It seems very strange to have watched the last high school football game that anyone from the McGyver family will be a part of. But life moves on...

This week was the birthday of the United States Marine Corps and it is less than a month until we head to San Diego for Chester's graduation!

I was having lunch with my friend B earlier this week (Hi B!)and I was telling her this story-I'm going to try to convey the scene for you and hope that you can picture how absolutely funny it was in real life-when I go to the gym I use the treadmill. I always look at a magazine (which was resting on the acrylic magazine holder on the treadmill) while I am huffing and puffing and sometimes it is rather difficult to turn the pages. So I was going to turn the page but at that exact moment my body had a power surge and instead of gently turning the page, my hand hit the side of the magazine and sent it flying-it flew off of the magazine holder on my treadmill and landed perfectly (on the new page and everything) onto the next treadmill's magazine holder. The lady on that treadmill looked at me and asked if I wanted to share the article with her. We both started laughing so hard that neither one of us could finish our work out.

Lame post, I know, but not much happening right now.

Good vs. Bad

U*Haul's football team winning their first play off game=GOOD

Mrs. McGyver using her foot to flush the public toilet while wearing clogs=BAD

Living in the Midwest in the Fall with all of the beautiful leaves=Good

Blisters on hands from raking beautiful leaves=BAD

Making lasagna for the family for Sunday Dinner=GOOD

Having oven go out half way into the baking process=BAD

Waking up every morning with a back ache from ratty old mattress=BAD

McGyver wanting to cheer up the MRS by buying a new bed=GOOD

Caution: Thick Fog Ahead

Have you ever driven down an unfamiliar road at night when the fog is so thick that you can only see a few inches ahead of your car? The kind of fog that forces you to keep your lights on dim and to travel at a slower than normal rate of speed. The unfamiliarity of the road causes you to grip the steering wheel tighter than normal, to hope that you really are staying on the road and not veering off into a field, a ditch... the other lane. When traveling on this type of night you are forced to concentrate only on your driving, all other thoughts must be pushed away. You look at your clock and can't believe that only minutes have passed since you last checked the time when it feels like you have been traveling for hours due to the stress of the situation.
That's where I am at right now with this adoption. The CCAA has been pretty consistent in issuing referrals 6-7 months after your Log In Date (LID). Until now. We just got an email update from our adoption agency telling us that they are revising the timeline. They are lengthening the estimated time between LID and referral. No one knows for sure why the sudden slow down has occurred, at least no one is sharing the information if they do know. We were expecting our referral in December, January at the latest. It now looks like it will be February, possibly March. The time from referral to travel has lengthened as well. To say that I am devastated right now would be the understatement of the century.
I feel like I really am driving down a road completely blanketed in fog. I can't see forward, the fog is too thick. My lights are on dim and still our movement forward is minimal. What lies ahead is unknown because I can't see through the fog.
Please don't email me and remind me that this will happen when it is supposed to happen, that others have had to wait longer (when China first opened to international adoption, during the SARS stage, etc.) All of those slow downs had reasons behind them. This one doesn't. Our agency is only going to receive referrals for those people with Log In Dates through March. We now have to wait for everyone with LID's in April, May and the first half of June to receive their referrals before it is our turn. I never would have imagined that we very well could be waiting until next Spring to meet Dreamsicle. My heart is aching.

Happy Anniversary McGyver

Today is my anniversary. McGyver and I have been married for 21 years. As I have said in the past, he truly is my best friend. I thought it would be a good time to recount how we came to be Mr & Mrs McGyver because it always makes me smile when I think about how we started...

McGyver and I have known each other our entire lives. We were in the same kindergarten class, lived just a few miles apart and became extremely close as we grew up. My dad considered him to be his second son long before we even thought of getting together as a couple. I would set McGyver up on dates with my friends through out high school and he was the one that I always ran to when some smelly boy broke my heart.

After I graduated I left our small town for the big city and college. Soon after arriving at college I realized that the one person I missed more than (gasp) my boyfriend at the time was my best friend McGyver! I would call him in the middle of the night and cry about the unfairness of not being able to talk to him like I used to. I missed him. His emotional stability, his physical presence, everything. He came to see me at college one weekend and when I saw him standing there at my door, I began crying and realized that I loved him. I mean really, really loved him. As I poured my heart out to him about my feelings he gathered me up in his arms and said it was about time that I came to my senses, he had been waiting his whole life for me to realize it.

He then went away to the Marine Corps and after having been in the Corps for almost a year we couldn't stand being so far away from each other and decided to get married.

We got married 21 years ago today. My heart still skips a beat when he walks into the room, he still provides me with his emotional stability and his unending love and I am so blessed to have this man in my life. I love you McGyver. Thanks for the memories.

Brag Time

Quick Post-Just want to let all of the fam know what's happening...

I need to introduce two more people into our cast of characters-

U*Haul's girlfriend will be known as Pixie (she's just the cutest, teeniest, tiniest little thing you would ever want to see). U*Haul and Pixie have dated since their freshman year. It has been such a privilege to watch these two grow together. Since Pixie has been such a part of our lives for so long we celebrate her victories and mourn her losses just as we would one of our boys. So-Pixie is a cheerleader (of course) and her squad took first place at their cheer competition on Saturday-way to go Pixie!

But wait there's more-U*Haul got word last night that he was named to the All Conference Team for football!!!

Chester's girlfriend will be known as Princess-(she has the keychain to prove it) and is just an adorable, sweet, thing. Princess and Chester were best friends during high school, it wasn't until they both graduated that they realized their was something stronger than friendship in their relationship (sounds alot like McGyver and me but I'll post about that tomorrow)

Princess got a letter from Chester that said that his platoon is currently the Honor Platoon!! This is a big deal in recruit life-it means that your platoon is the best and it is something that they will have to fight to keep for the rest of boot camp. Way to go Chester!

I came into work today and there was an Asian Cabbage Patch Baby waiting for me from some of the people that I work with. Sweet little things, I really am blessed.

Misc. Ramblings

I just returned from San Diego, had a great time but so many funny things happened on this trip that I just had to share...
On my first night in San Diego I was walking down the street when someone literally came running up to me, threw her arms around me, squealing"Mary, OMG, I haven't seen you in forever-why didn't you tell me you were coming to this conference?" after disentangling myself from her grasp-I looked her in the eye and a look of sheer horror washed over her face as she realized that I wasn't Mary.
I was window shopping and had a bird poop in my hair-okay so that part was gross- but when I realized that I was running down the street trying to get back to my hotel as quickly as possible while muttering to myself about how gross this was I was bent over and running sideways I cracked myself up.
I broke the heel off of one of my shoes walking to the conference while crossing a train track and had to limp back to the hotel
The woman and man seated in front of me on the plane had their headphones turned up so loud that they had no idea they were speaking to each other loud enough for the entire plane to hear them, and oh what a conversation it was! Apparently they had not seen each other for a while, let's just leave it at that

The conversation I got into at lunch one day with some other conference attendees about the craziest things that had happened to them while at work-let me just share a few...

One woman had an employee bring in the entire tank of her toilet to show off how she had country painted it
Another one rounded the corner of a row of cubicles after she heard dogs barking-her employee had set up a child's play fence and had 3 puppies in the middle-she just couldn't leave them at home by themselves.
Yet another opened up the coat closet to go home, only to find one of her employees slumbering peacefully on a bed of coats

Fun, fun, fun time

Tidbits

I have done much whining on this blog, and I am sure much more will occur in the future, but today I'm blogging about good stuff.

Chester called Thursday night! Totally unexpected but so, so heartwarming. He sounds good (when he was little he used to have a raspy voice which would melt my heart, he sounds like that right now only deeper voiced) He is handling boot camp very well, said it is not as hard as he had expected. He will be up at Camp Pendleton for the next four weeks so we will not hear from him very often but that one phone call will take me through two weeks I am sure! I am heading out to San Diego tomorrow for a week so I am glad he is further up the coast now so any stalking tendencies that I had in the past are far gone from my mind (in a previous post I had made the decision to attend the conference in Florida instead of California but it was sold out so it is off to San Diego).

When I picked up the mail on Friday we had a letter from waiting for us as well! So one phone call and one letter in the same week makes for a very happy mama!

Friday night U*Haul had a football game. Not just any football game but the game that would decide whether or not his varsity team would make the play offs. THEY WON! So for the first time since 1997 our football team will be in the play offs for high school football. He had a fantastic game, I could watch that kid play ball all day long. It was bittersweet to watch though. Last night's game was the last home game for the graduating seniors and watching those boys take their final walk across their home football field was pretty emotional.

Good things all around.

Update on Chester

As many of you know, I have been feeling pretty blue about the lack of communication we have had with Chester. We received another letter yesterday which brought the total number of letters we have received from him since 9-11-05 to three. It has been hard knowing that the other moms who I have been in contact with who have sons in the same company as Chester have received 8-10 letters. Well, the mystery has been solved. Mr. Social Director of the Year has been unable to write to his momma because he is writing to all of his friends! I am actually okay with this. They have begun to let me know that they are hearing from him and he sounds great. If he is comfortable enough to write letters to his peeps and doesn't need to cry to his momma then I should probably stop worrying about his emotional health and relax. Letting go is tough stuff but I'm learning.

Referral Time Again

Every month I anxiously wait for the referral information to begin pouring in on the adoption sites. I do this for two reasons:
1. Because I must do my part to keep Kleenex in business. Every time I read about people receiving their referrals I cry. People post the most incredibly sweet announcements about their babies and sometimes include pictures. This gives me goose bumps every single month and makes me burst into tears. It really helps keep me moving forward knowing that each month brings us a step closer to Dreamsicle.
2. To torture myself. No really. I mean it. It looks like this latest batch of referrals only goes through the middle of March. We are getting very close to referral since we have a LID of June 20th. BUT-this latest batch of referrals has me more than a little worried. If you calculate what the referrals will look like for November then December based on what happened this month we will not receive our referral until January. I know that this will happen when it is supposed to happen. I know that if there is a delay there is a reason but right now I'm just sad. Blech. Makes me want to cry. But not for the same reason as reason #1.

In other news....
I went to DC on business last week for four days then added a four day trip to New York City for pleasure onto the back of it. I met up with my friend from Savannah Georgia and we had a fantabulous time! She visits NYC often so she was the perfect tour guide. We saw the musical Wicked which I loved. We shopped and ate and walked all over the city, just had a blast. I bought many pair of cute shoes but I do have to say that I am most impressed with you New York women. How ya'll can run around all day long in high heels and still have feet left is beyond me. Don't get me wrong-everyone looks fantastic but I tried to be cool for one evening by wearing my brand new pair of high heel shoes to dinner. By the time we were walking back to the hotel I was begging for a taxi! You guys rock. This midwest girl had to go back to her flats and will gently break all of her shoes in over time.

Yeah!

I am out of town on business for the week, received a call from U*Haul wanting to know if he could OPEN THE LETTER from CHESTER that came in the mail yesterday and read it to me. That's right-the LETTER FROM CHESTER finally came!! He hasn't lost his sense of humor and sounded like things were going as well as could be expected at this point.

My heart can start beating at a normal pace now, my son is doing just fine.

McGyver To The Rescue

Yesterday I had myself convinced that we would get the infamous first letter from Chester. In all of the material that the Marine Corps gave us and on all of the message boards I am now part of the prevailing thought is that the recruits will send the first letter out on the second Sunday of their boot camp and to plan on getting that letter and all letters after that on the Thursday of that week. Are you following me?
I drove like a crazy woman all of the way home. Small children and puppies were quaking in fear as I raced past them in my eagerness to get to my mailbox. I opened my mailbox expecting sunshine and music to come out of it as I pawed through all things non important in my quest for THE LETTER. The only things in there were bills and about 67 gazillion college information packets for U*Haul. No letter, no postcard, nada, zero, zilch from Chester.

I lost it driving up the driveway, stepped out of my car and into McGyver's big old arms crying the entire time. I told him that we still did not have a letter from Chester, he calmly tells me to "get the recruiter's number". I go into the house rummage through Chester's room to find the business card with the number, bring it and the phone back outside to McGyver who quickly gets the recruiter on the phone and the conversation goes something like this...
McGyver-Wife did not receive letter from Chester today as anticipated, would like his address
Recruiter-it typically takes a week to get there Mr McGyver.
McGyver-it is closing in on two weeks and I know you are not trying to tell me that the United States Marine Corps has lost my son are you?
Recruiter-No sir we know right where he is
McGyver-Good, then I expect Mrs. McGyver will know right where to mail the stack of 10 letters that is piling up on my bar in a matter of hours correct?
Recruiter-I will see what I can do
McGyver-I would appreciate that-Mrs. McGyver takes her letter writing seriously and I know other recruits were successful in reaching their families last Wednesday and those families have begun to send letters to their recruits already, we can't have Mrs. McGyver feel like she is not doing her job in supporting Chester now can we?

Two Hours Later-the telephone rings and I have Chester's address.

*Sigh* I love my McGyver

Cast of Characters

I've been thinking for a while of changing the way I refer to everyone in my family. Going by the first letter of their name is pretty boring. Soooo I am going to change all of that now. I need to get out of my funk of missing W so here goes-let's have some fun.

L will be forever known as McGyver (refer to previous threads if you don't know why)

J our oldest son will be called X-boy (for his love of all things computer game related)

W our middle son will go by the name of Chester (the Marine Corps bulldog is known as Chesty but I don't get a visual image of a bulldog whenever I write that so I'm changing it to a more masculine Chester)

D our youngest son will be referred to as U*Haul (D is very active in sports and tends to run on the slow side-over the years he has had more than one coach tell him that he runs like he is pulling a trailer)

Koli will be lovingly called Dreamsicle (one of my best friends always refers to her that way and it has started to stick).

Anyway-still no word from Chester but I think we will get a post card this Thursday and will be able to send the entire stack of letters that is piling up on Friday.

Today is the half way mark of waiting for our referral for Dreamsicle!

X*Boy has a house of his own but has decided to stay with us for a few weeks. I am so happy about this. I miss him even though he only lives 3 miles away from us and it has been so nice reconnecting with him.

U*Haul has been having an excellent football season so far and it has been a pleasure to watch him.

Due to some recent events here in blogland it has got me thinking about the nature of my blog. This blog definately started out as a vehicle to keep our family and friends updated on the adoption process but somewhere along the line it became more of a way for me to communicate with everyone about our entire family, not just the adoption process. Let's face it-there isn't a whole lot to write about during this 6 month waiting period of the adoption. This blog would have dried up and blown away by the time I would have had anything to report on the adoption front. So this is still a vehicle for our family and friends to stay connected, it has just morphed into something larger. Luckily my little blog is still primarily visited by people I know so I haven't had to deal with negative comments from people I don't know, but if you are just stopping by for a visit-welcome! Stop by anytime, just be nice.

Anxious

I'm normally a pretty level headed person but today I am filled with anxiety. When you first get to boot camp you are usually allowed one phone call to let your family know that you arrived safely and to give your loved ones your address where they can begin to send letters. We missed that call, it came during the middle of the day and both L and I were working. They have to call collect so W was not able to leave the information on the answering machine. We are holding out hope that maybe his Drill Instructor will show some compassion and allow those that were unable to reach someone to try again today since it is Sunday but know that the possibility of this happening is very slim. If we do not receive a call today we should receive a post card sometime next week or the week after which will have his address on it.

Most of the time I like to be as informed as possible about anything relating to my family but this is one time that I wish L would not have told me the truth. Having been in the Marine Corps he can tell me the types of things that W is experiencing which normally I would consider a blessing but not about this. I made the mistake of asking L about how W not being able to contact us would make him feel-L was very honest as normal and said one word "devastated". Devastated is filling me with anxiety. When I play this out I can see what he means-those that were able to give their families their address will receive mail two weeks before those that were unable to connect. Ugghhh. Right now at the beginning of this 13 week journey for W is when he needs our support the most and we are unable to give it to him. It. Breaks. My. Heart. I know that he is a man and in the grand scheme of things this is a small set back but right now it feels pretty large.

On a good note-Tuesday will mark the half way point of the "big wait" for our referral and today I was able to purchase Sonia Lee for half price.

Achey Breaky Heart

Today I am a jumble of emotions. We had to take W to the hotel where he would spend the night before winging his way across the country to start boot camp this weekend.

I am not sure how to describe how I feel. L and I were dating when he left for boot camp and I (foolishly) expected to feel many of the same emotions that I felt saying goodbye to L all those years ago as I said goodbye to my son. Boy was I wrong. I certainly felt a tug on the ole' heart strings when L left but this weekend I felt like the ole' heart strings had been pulled together and tied into a knot, which left me little room to breathe inside my chest. This kid has such a strong spirit that you can literally feel him enter a room before you see him. People want to be around him. He is funny, kind, and as I have said before on this blog-unwavering in his decision of his career path. But I am sad. Coming home after leaving him I spent some time in his room-breathing in his scent from his pillow, trying to feel him. I know that we have done a good job in raising him. I know that he is following his dream and tried desperately not to lose my composure in front of him. Because even in the midst of my sadness, my motherly selfishness at not having my son sleeping in his bed tonight, I am proud.

Proud of the choices that he has made in his life up to this point. Proud of his love for his family and his country. And I feel heart swelling pride to soon be able to call my son a United States Marine.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my birthday! It was a terrific day. I was surprised with cake (with candles)and ice cream, gifts from my staff at work, had a long lunch with one of the other adoptive mom's who will most likely be traveling with us to China, and had a nice dinner out with L. As a birthday present to myself I finally registered at Babies R Us for the things we need for Koli. It has been a terrific day and I am so blessed to have the family that I have.

Redneck Camping

This weekend was spent at home. L wanted to start readying the truck camper for his and our oldest son J's upcoming hunting trip. As I looked at the truck camper, it got me thinking of the last trip that involved me actually inside that camper. A few years ago L decided that rather than pull our 5th wheel down to Texas to visit his father for a vacation, we would simply take his truck camper to allow for more people to be able to help drive. Not only did the 5 of us make the trip (me and L and our 3 sons) but L's sister came along as well. We have a single cab truck so at any given time there were 4 people in the truck camper.

We were heading down to spend Christmas with my father in law and happened to pick the evening of my company Christmas party to leave. We came up with the plan that L and I would attend my party and his sister S would meet us outside of the entertainment complex at a pre determined time with the truck and camper and we would leave from there. My Christmas party is always held at a very swanky venue which causes us to have to dress up for the event. As the time drew near for us to leave, many of the people that work with me started looking out the windows, watching for the Clampett mobile to pull up and for us to make our exit. L's sister called us on our cell phone to tell us that she was getting close, we made our get away just as she was pulling into a no parking spot. We both quickly jumped into the truck, sister in law jumped in the back with the boys (in the camper)and took off. Because of how I was dressed I was forced to change out of my Holiday outfit into my sweats in the cab of the truck. This led to a few truckers having a show they didn't bargain for as I wrestled out of a cocktail dress and nylons and into my sweat suit but I decided to make myself feel better by reminding myself that I would never see them again (that is until we stopped for gas and one of the trucks pulled into the same station).

Over the course of the next 26 hours we all took turns driving or riding in the front or sleeping/watching movies in the camper. It was during my last turn to be up in the bed above the cab of the truck that trouble struck. As I was drifting off to sleep, I suddenly started hearing the distinct sound of metal pinging against metal. I asked the boys who all happened to be in the back with me if they heard the noise and they all said no. After many sessions of "shushing" to get them to really listen they all agreed that something sounded kind of strange. We had two way radios both in the cab of the truck and in the camper so I two wayed L to let him know of my growing concern for the funny "pinging" noise that I was hearing. By this time it was raining quite hard outside and he convinced me that what I was hearing was hail hitting the camper roof. I wasn't completely convinced and jokingly told the boys that if the front of the camper came off to make sure they grabbed their Momma by the foot before she rolled onto the hood of the truck. We all laughed and shortly after that arrived at my father in laws home. It was nearly midnight so we just grabbed our gear and headed into his home to sleep for the night.

In the morning we got up to go to breakfast and planned on taking our truck so that we could all ride together. When we approached the truck we quickly realized that the ping, ping, ping I had heard for the last 4 hours of our trip was actually the rivets popping out of the metal in the top of the camper!

At this point I was fairly convinced that the boys and I would be making our way home on an airplane while L and his sister would drive the truck home since there was no way we could ride back there. Well, my Mr. McGyver had a different idea. McGyver and McGyver Senior (his dad) put their heads together, shoo'ed us all away for a few hours and "fixed" the camper. We returned to find a 2x4 drilled into the bottom of the camper that rests on the truck cab, metal strips climbing up each side of the front of the camper that were riveted into the sides of the camper to hold it and another 2x4 on the top of the camper that had the ends of the metal riveted into it for support. If I ever get my pictures to upload onto this site I will post a pic for your viewing pleasure.

Imagine traveling half way across the country to get back home in this contraption. It stayed together-although I refused to allow anyone to ride up in the top bed of the camper all the way home. We received many honks, witnessed carloads of people in hysterical laughing fits as they drove by us and watched one car almost get into an accident as the driver craned his neck too far trying to watch us instead of the road.

That was my one and only time of Redneck camping, next time we want to make that trip-I think I'll fly.

I have, have you?

Shortly after my father passed away a year ago, my Mom's house burned. To. The. Ground. This house was my childhood home. The only place I had ever known to call home, the place that carried all of the memories of our family. All of that was lost one sunny summer afternoon. The feelings of despair and unrest that coursed through my body as we sorted through the rubble are surfacing again as I watch the devastation that has happened along the coast. My mom lost her home and most of her belongings, but we knew she would survive. She immediately moved in with us, we were able to provide her with shelter and food and comfort and most importantly, hope. We were able to begin making plans to rebuild her home, her life, her future within a very short time. She still had the land on which her house had stood. Her well was still good and she had her family.

There are so many people, so many families, that have lost their homes, their memories, their loved ones over the course of the last week. Uncertain futures, pleading for food and water, grieving over their losses. Imagine that feeling folks. When you are finished imagining what that must feel like, do something.

Please Give-give until it hurts. Please. I have-have you?

REDCROSS.ORG

Happy Birthday L!

Today is the day of the birth of my soulmate-L. I love this man so much it makes my heart hurt. In honor of his birthday, I thought it would be appropriate to list some of the things that I love about him.

1. He could give McGyver a run for his money. Seriously. Give this man a bobby pin and a stick of chewing gum and he can fix anything.

2. He is the most down to earth man I have ever met. Material things do not matter to him, nor do they impress him.

3. He works out regularly and has huge arms. When he wraps me up in his arms there is no where else in the world I would rather be. (one exception might be when he wraps me up in those arms and he is wearing a tank top and has just worked out and my nose is stuck in his pit but you get the idea)

4. He loves unconditionally.

5. He has a quick wit.

6. He is honest and has been a terrific role model for our sons.

7. He is happiest when he is with his family.

8. He has a huge heart for people who are hurting.

9. He sings to me while we are riding in his truck.

10. He balances me out. He's calm and level headed and the best thing that ever happened to me.

Happy Birthday Babe-I love you!

Two Down

August 20th marked month two of our (hopefully) 6 month wait until referral. Some days I think the time is flying by and other days I feel as if I am just hanging on by my finger nails. We haven't begun to purchase anything for our trip yet and have not started on her room. I have been filling the time with purchasing clothing but I really don't want to overshadow this important time in W's life by focusing on Koli rather than on him.

I had a heart to heart with W the other day and he really wants us to keep his room in tact. It is important to him so I will leave his room as is and we will move the office-making that Koli's room instead. Once W leaves for boot camp we will begin the process of transforming the office back into a bedroom and I am sure that will help pass the time and make me feel as if we are moving forward. I read alot of blogs written by my fellow adoptive moms. Some have already made the trip, some are currently traveling and others are in the big wait stage just like us. Almost all of them comment on how much they are preparing for their travels months ahead of time. I feel like I should be doing something, I just don't know what that is.

Story Problem

S gets up in the morning, late due to the power going out because of a rain storm. She quickly showers and dresses in her way too cute for words pink pants, slips on her sassy pink sandals and runs out the door. As S is running to her car over her mud soaked driveway her sassy pink sandals slide causing S to fall down. What does S do?

She has to go back into the house to change, because she is late she throws on the first thing she can get her hands on which happens to be the colors of black and gray. Kind of like her mood today. Ugh.

Redneck Yachtclub Rules

The top 10 rules I think are important for any potential yachtclub member to agree to are as follows:

1. I will agree to have a doggy life jacket on board my floating play pen before my Rottweiler decides to jump off the boat in 30 feet of water just in case he figures out that he can't swim.
2. I will agree to always remember to bring the tongs home that were utilized to flip food on the on-board grill to wash-just in case visitors to the floating play pen think "a little dirt never hurt nothin'".
3. I will agree to hunt down any other boaters who happen to have "found" a neon blue bouy with the last name of H written on it.
4. I will agree to always make sure that there is extra gas on board just in case a "short ride' turns into an all day event.
5. I will agree to be very careful before stepping foot on the floating playpen when husband is pushing water off of the canopy after a rain to ensure my not getting drenched by said water when it comes flying off of the top of the canopy and down my shirt.
6. I will agree to never, ever, ever park at the dock that the H's have rented for the summer, even if said slip happens to be empty at that moment and is located at a store and you just need to "run up and get supplies but will only take a minute" when the H's return to dock their boat.
7. I will promise to always pick up the poo left by my dog when I let him run down by the water so that no one steps in it when returning to the dock after dark and suddenly feels a squish.
8. I will agree to always empty the on-board port a potty after every trip.
9. I will agree to always have a cooler full of my very own favorite beverages located on my own boat before I tie up with the floating play pen (this rule does not apply to Koli's favorite aunt).
10. I will agree to always try to assist S in her efforts to wrestle the Jumbo Size Air Horn Can away from L whenever possible.

No Stalker Mom

The dilemna has been solved-I will be attending my conference in Orlando where I will happily stalk the mouse. When L found out that I was considering attending the conference in San Diego he about had a heart attack. I think he had visions of me schleping a lawn chair and cooler half way across the country to set up W watch 2005. So there will be no stalker mom in San Diego, the Marine recruits can rest easy now I am sure.

We will be holding W's going away party the last weekend of August so if your in my 'hood, stop by-lots of food and fun to be found.

Thanks to another blogger who is waiting to adopt her daughter from China, I have become obsessed with baby shoes. Shoes were not on my radar of things to purchase yet but after reading her question about shoes on one of my previous posts I set out to see just what is available in the world of little girl shoes. Oh My Heavens! I am currently in the process of attempting to purchase shoes to match the outfits I had already purchased for Koli. Once I started buying shoes I realized that care had to be taken to find the perfect tights to match the shoes for those outfits that are appropriate for the cold weather months. Speaking of cold weather months-holy cute boots! I picked up a pair of faux Ug*gs that are pink and absolutely adorable. I am having a little problem figuring out what size of shoes to buy but I'm sure with a little practice this will get better.

I'm going through another cycle of "CAA". CAA stands for Cry At Anything. Sappy commercial? Turn on the water works! Hug my boys? Use a box of Kleenex! I'm not sure what is happening but ever since we made the decision to adopt I'm going through these emotional cycles that come out of nowhere and tend to freak my family out. Which is kind of fun in a sick sort of way. Might as well keep them on their toes, huh?

This and That

So have I gushed lately about how super cool my family is? I got home today and found a large box in my mailbox. My cool cat cousin and her husband had sent us a Chinese book and CD's to help us learn Koli's language! How very, very thoughtful. We are thrilled! I have already popped the first CD in and am going to put these in my car so that I can have a solid 2 hours per day of uninterrupted learning time as I travel back and forth to work.

It is official...I am beginning to look like An*dy Roo*ney. I have cancelled my hair appt three times now which also means that my eyebrows have not been waxed like they should be. I don't tweeze my own eyebrows, I'm very dangerous with a pair of tweezers-I tend to get one brow looking nice and the other will become non existent as I struggle to get it to match the first brow. So I have learned to leave my eyebrow grooming to the professionals, except when I get so busy at work that I can't seem to keep my appts. Then I start looking like An*dy. Not such a becoming look on a female.

I have a dilemna. I need to attend a conference this fall as I am pursuiting an additional certification for my job. I have the option of going to Orlando where the conference will be held at a Disney resort (can you say "Disney Freak"?) I love that place. I also have the option of attending the conference in San Diego. Yes that's right, San Diego. The same place where W will be since he will still be in boot camp at the time of this conference. Did I happen to mention that the conference is about 3-4 blocks away from the boot camp training thingy? I know that there will be 100's of bald headed Marines but there is a chain link fence that divides the street from a part of the base. Although the chance is slim, there is still the possibility that I could spot him. We have a very common last name but nobody runs like my W so I'm sure I could spot him if he was running in the vicinity of the chain link fence with his last name stenciled on the back of his shirt. I know I would not be able to speak to him or call attention to him but I just might see him. So what would you do-attend the conference in Florida that is being held at one of my favorite places in the world or attend the conference in San Diego with the hope that by walking by the base a couple of 100 times a day I could perhaps catch a glimpse of my son?

Somebody Stop Me!

My name is S and I am a shopaholic. I have this problem that consists of not being able to walk by a children's store without being drawn in by some unknown force. Before I know it, I have an armload of girl clothes at the check out register and am happily swiping my debit card and entering in my pin #. I only have one problem. Koli doesn't have a room yet. So I have bags and bags of adorable girl clothes that are threatening to take over L's office. So much for hiding my addiction from my husband. We plan on turning W's room into Koli's bedroom once he leaves for boot camp but until then the bags keep piling up. I keep telling myself to at least wait until I have space to hang them up but that magnetic force keeps drawing me back in. Anyone want to come with me and see if you can cure my addiction?

Whoo*zits and What*zits

I had decided that when we travel to pick up Koli, I wanted to purchase a wrap or pouch to carry her around in. I'm all about making sure that our precious girl bonds with us so thought that having some skin to skin contact would encourage that rather than simply placing her in a stroller. I purchased two different types of hip slings/wraps/pouches to try to see which one was the most comfortable. Heaven help me. After taking the first item out of the box, I decided that it would not be necessary for me to read the instructions. After all, how hard could it be to take a piece of material and two rings and form an opening that would fit my pretend child? I had purchased a 20 pound bag of rice as a stand in for Koli. In real life I am on the growth stunted side. I had purchased the "medium" size wrap since it states that most people fit into the medium category and there is a large difference in vertical between me and L. So my thinking was to buy the medium than we could both use it. After last night I see the error of my ways. The piece of fabric could have wrapped me up in it 3 times, come to think of it, I think it did wrap me up 3 times. I was in the comfort of my own home, by myself, and almost had to dial the emergency number for help. I began by wrapping the fabric around my body, thinking that I would then somehow pull it up to my waist and then attach the rings. All fine and good except that I wrapped on of my arms inside the fabric, twice. After doing a little twirly dance number to extract my body from the fabric I tried again, remembering this time to keep both hands free from the wrapping process at all times. I was a little more successful on this attempt and actually managed to pull the yards and yards of fabric up to my waist this time. Only then I realized that I did not have the little ring-y things in my hand. So I had to walk to the kitchen table, reach out to grab the ring-y things and then try to somehow connect them near my shoulder. While using both hands to try to connect the ring-y things I let go of the fabric in the wrong place and the sling once again looked like a dress. Now armed with the ring-y things, I pulled the fabric up once again, kept my hands positioned where they needed to be and somewhat successfully attached the ring-y things. I then proceeded to place ever so lovingly into this pouch my 20 pound bag of rice. That would be the 20 pound bag of rice that somehow popped a hole in its bag and began leeking all over the floor before I realized that my load was not simply getting lighter because I was getting used to it but because approximately 5 pounds of rice was now spread out on my floor. Tonight, I try the other one.

Sweet Dreams

I keep having this dream night after night. In my dream I can see the outline of Koli. She is about a year old with dark hair that is in pig tails. I can see that she has a round face and is wearing an impish grin but the rest of her features are fuzzy. She reaches out to me and calls me Mama. I am so happy and content as I reach down and pick her up, snuggling with her on my shoulder. I inhale deeply and smell baby lotion. So that is my new obsession-baby lotion. I purchased a large bottle of it recently, not to wear but just to open and smell. Every time I smell it I am reminded of my dream and I just close my eyes and relive the scene.

Today was referral day-not for me but for some fellow bloggers that I am getting to know. One family in particular has touched me from the very beginning. I won't link to their blog without their permission but they have the most amazing video of her referral phone call. I sat watching that video with tears literally streaming down my cheeks. Congratulations K & S-I am sure you will be amazing parents! Watching that video made everything that much more real for me. Seeing K's hands visibly shaking as she fumbles for something to write with, hearing the unsteady tone of her voice which was filled with such excitement and anticipation, I can so relate to that. I placed a pen and pad of paper in my glove box after watching her because I am prone to moments like that. In my case our referral call will probably come just before I hit a dead spot on my way home from work with my cell phone. I can see it now-congratulation L & S you have been referred a .......
Maybe I will have to tote around my bottle of baby lotion when our turn comes around, so that if the cell phone isn't in range I can just open it and smell.

Oh Happy Days!

Last week was such a terrific week. Not only were we notified of our Log In Date, but the infamous Brown Envelope appeared in my mailbox on Saturday! That's right ladies and gentleman, the H family actually received the brown envelope! It really is a relief to know that not only does the Chinese government know about us but the American Consulate does as well. All is right in my world at the moment.

My Mom dropped by on Saturday and gave me a gift. She had purchased a beautifully illustrated childrens book on adoption. The author was present at the festival that she was at so she was able to get this book signed. It brought tears to my eyes when I read the book. My Mom and I just stood there for a few minutes, both misty eyed after I was done. The book was great and I love my Mom so much for taking the care to purchase this. I have to send a big shout out to one of my best friends in the whole wide world-T-. T ran into my Mom at the festival and pointed the book out. It just gives me such a warm and fuzzy feeling to know that not only is my family excited about Koli but that my friends are too.

We Are Expecting!!

What a great day! I opened my email up this afternoon to find a message from our adoption agency. They had been notified of our Log In Date and it is June 20th! So let the official count down begin!! If everything stays the same we can expect to receive our referral in December. Oh happy day!! The best part is that we already have one month under our belt. Thank you Heavenly Father!!

Lucky Bamboo

Things seem to be so connected some days that it is really kind of scary. I received a piece of "Lucky Bamboo" from my staff last year as a gift. All year it has steadily grown and then all of a sudden it has just begun to take off. I kept the little tag attached to it and reread it this morning. This is what it says "We sincerely hope this gift of lucky bamboo will bring happiness and good fortune to you." Hmmm, our dossier is in China, meaning our precious Koli is one step closer to us and all of a sudden my bamboo is starting to look like the beanstalk from J*ack and the Beanstalk. I know, I know, cheesy but come on people-I'm looking for anything to make me feel like we are still forging ahead.

As I mentioned before we are planning on getting to know the other 5-6 couples in our area that are using the same adoption agency and were DTC the same date as us. I have talked with a couple of them and they have received their brown envelope. Of course we have not received ours because that is the way things go in the H household. The brown envelope is filled with important documents that are sent to you by the US Consulate in China. It contains things like Visa applications, etc. Receiving the brown envelope is like Christmas for some people (me being one of them). I would race to the mailbox every day waiting for it then I found out the other people in our travel group have already received theirs, which made me feel like I was the kid on Christmas morning that received the lump of coal in her stocking. I have been assured by our adoption agency that not everyone receives the envelope and they have all of the necessary documents that are contained in the brown envelope at their office so not to worry. It's still a little disturbing to me but I am trying to focus on the positive. We still have not been notified of our LID (log in date) yet. This is the date that the Chinese government officially logs your dossier in to their system for processing. I don't expect to hear for another few weeks and keep telling myself that the longer it takes for me to hear, the less waiting time I will actually have left when I find out the date. It typically takes up to 14 days to be logged in so if that is the case we are looking at June 24th or somewhere close to that date as our LID. Which means that we will realistically not get our referral until January. I'm hoping for our referral in December but don't want to get myself into the lump of coal category again by setting myself up if it doesn't come by Christmas.
L made another trip to Cabela*s last week and came home with two very adorable outfits for Koli. Of course they are camo colored but they do have ruffles and bows so I'm happy, we are making progress.

Redneck Yachtclub Part Two

Oh what a weekend we had! I do not have the pic's ready to post yet but they are hilarious! When we pulled up to the island, everyone's mouth dropped open (in awe I'm sure). We headed out to the middle of the river to watch fire works, ended up tying up to three other boats and could not get rid of the river police. They kept circling our entourage dying of laughter. They wanted to know if they could use my port a potty (are they nuts?) and were completely dumbfounded by Koli's Favorite Aunt's lighting system. Her boat had PVC pipe that ended with an elbow attachment. On the elbow attachment they had placed a DISCO BALL!! It was attached to a battery so while the fire works were flying the Redneck Yachtclub was helping with the lighting from the DISCO BALL (very festive) and the Tiki Torches. Both of our boats had signs on them that said Redneck Yacht Klub established 2005. What a great time. After the fire works we pulled back into the cove at the island, set the tent up on the floating play pen, blew up our air mattress and settled in for some good sleep. The only problem with the good sleep theory was that we were right next to where the campfire was on shore. Fourth of July, an island, adult beverages, nice weather does not equal good sleep when you have a dozen people who can stay up all night celebrating! So we did the best we could trying to get sleep and spent the next day on the floating play pen just relaxing. We actually had two separate boats pull up next to us and ask how much the membership fee was to get into the "Klub". Stay tuned for pic's.

Redneck Yacht Club

I am back from Hawaii-had an absolutely fabulous time with my mom and the conference I attended was tremendous. In fact, the organization that sponsors this conference is going to make Maui the permanent meeting site! So once a year I will be able to go to Hawaii without alot of out of pocket expenses for me-Woo-Hoo!! We are already planning for next year's trip. I will be bringing the whole family and sure hope Koli can tolerate the long plane ride just a short time after we bring her home.

Now on to the topic of my heading. This weekend is Fourth of July. We recently purchased an old pontoon boat. We had a larger, nicer boat but L felt strongly that with Koli coming we needed to "right size" and purchase something that was more like a giant play pen. The boat is orange-not modern cool orange but circa 1970 shag carpet orange. It has brown indoor/outdoor carpet on it. We had to buy chairs to sit on so we searched and searched and finally had to settle on hunter green resin stackable chairs. Because it is close to the Fourth of July holiday most places that carry boat accessories are pretty low on supplies. We needed to have bouys to hang off the side of the boat. Could not find a white one to save our lives so we ended up with neon blue bouys. To add to the festivities L insisted on purchasing Tiki Torches for all four corners of the giant play pen. We have a tradition of pitching tents on an island friends of ours own for the weekend and watching the fire works off of our boat. L has decided that we do not need to pitch a tent on the island when we have the giant play pen. So we have purchased a tent that will fit on the deck of the boat and will be staying on board the ship. He also invested in the surround normally used for a solar shower which he has hung from the frame of the play pens canopy, thus giving me an instant bathroom with the port-a-potty safely tucked away inside the shower surround. He came up with the bright idea to permanently mount our charcoal grill to the front of the boat. Can anyone think of anything more redneck than our boat? I am going to try very hard to post a picture of the floating play pen sometime after the holiday. While searching for all of our classy accessories L spotted the teeniest tiniest life jacket that he begged to purchase for Koli. Very cute if you would like your daughter in camo color. I think not. So if anyone is on a certain large body of water that is really a river in Michigan and you see the floating play pen, give us a shout-we would love to meet you. Happy Holiday everyone!

Mean People Suck

Mean.People.Suck.

I am fairly new to this thing called the adoption community. Those of you that know me know that one thing I do well is research and plan. So although we have not been part of the adoption community for long I feel that I have done a fairly decent job of bringing myself and L up to speed on all of the important things regarding China and adoption. I am constantly amazed at the attitudes of other adoption community members. I used to be glued to the big board regarding China adoptions, now I can barely bring myself to view that board once a week. It is inexplicable to me how people who are traveling the same path can be so cruel and condescending to each other at times. I personally don't care if someone is searching for the perfect patriotic outfit to bring their new daughter home in. Doesn't matter to me. Not one iota. I don't care if they want their Coming Home Barbie or not. These things hold no relevance for me. That they are of importance to others is pretty evident on the big board. I try to live by the rule that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. There are obviously lots of people out there whose Mama's never taught them that rule. Why the need to put someone else down? Beginning this process of international adoption has forced me to really examine what is important to me and I can tell you that how someone else is going to dress their baby is not on my radar. I have been shocked on more than one occasion by the remarks people make to me when they find out we are adopting from China. I think that everyone who has made this decision has been faced with the same kinds of questions. Things like-Why do we feel the need to buy our baby? How come we are not strong enough parents to take in a foster child or two and adopt them? What's wrong with a good ole American baby? Normally I try to deflect the questions and move on. I'm not sure how I am going to react once we have Kolaina home and someone makes a racist remark. I hope that I can remain calm while letting the person know how out of line the comment is but I am afraid that the Mama Bear in me will rear her ugly head and leave the person asking the question realing. I don't want to be a mean person so just play nice okay?

Expectant Mother Parking

Since we have made our decision to adopt I feel out of sorts at times. In my mind, I am an expectant mother. I giggle when I pull into a parking lot and see the reserved parking spots for expectant mothers. I have such a desire to utilize one of those spaces but am such a rule follower that I will not do it. But why shouldn't I? Although my ankles are not swollen (let's not talk about my belly) I am technically an expectant mother am I not? I have begun to hang out in baby stores, searching for furniture, bedding, etc. It is almost as if I am invisible at times. Those women who are obviously expecting are swooped upon by the store employees. I can wander aimlessly for 30 minutes without anyone coming up to ask me anything more than if I need help accessing someone's baby registry. I often wonder how they cannot tell that I am an expectant mother from the excited glow my cheeks exude whenever I am near baby gear.

I'm makin' a blankie

I should 'fess up right from the get go that I have this wonderful dream of receiving squares of fabric from people all over the world that will be lovingly sewn together by hand by me as I gaze dreamily at the fabric I am handling, creating a quilt for my daughter. In all actuality what is going to happen is I am going to put a shameless plea out to everyone reading this blog to send me two squares of fabric (8 x 8) along with a 3 x 5 card that has your wish for Kolaina written on it (on the card, not the fabric) and I will beg my mom to make the quilt for me. I alluded to this quilt in a previous post but wanted to give everyone some history behind this desire to make this blanket. The quilt is commonly known as a 100 wishes quilt or a Bai Jia Bei. I was initially going to ask for one square of fabric with the wish written directly on the fabric but have since read other people's ideas on how they are putting their baby quilts together and really like some of them! So, if you could be so kind as to send two squares of fabric I will use one to make a square on the quilt and the other one will be attached to the wish that was written on the 3 x 5 card and stored in a box for Kolaina to be able to read the wishes and feel the fabrics of her quilt. It is my understanding that this tradition started in Northern China as a way of welcoming a new baby. So for those of you that lurk here and know my address or see me in real life, bring on the squares! For those of you that just read the blog, please email me at hll_sz@yahoo.com and I will give you the address to send the squares too. Don't worry Aunties, I have forwarned my mom. :) What would be really cool is if I could convince all of my cousins (and I have a couple of ultra hip chic's I am proud to be related to) to get together to have an old fashioned quilting bee-and yes right now my ultra cool chic cousins are spitting diet coke out of their noses at the thought while my other cousins who are the craftiest things this side of Martha Stewart are probably seriously considering the idea. Darling way cool big sister of mine, can you please send me a couple o'squares of one of Dad's flannel shirts? Koli has to have a part of Pa-pa in her blankie don't ya think?

I am a chatter box tonight. Did I tell ya'll that my 72 year old father in law wants to go to China with us? I think that is the coolest thing ever. I am leaving for Hawaii in three days with my mom. I'm so over the top excited about this-can anyone think of a better place to chill with your mama? I am very thankful that this summer will be busy. It will help pass the time while we are waiting for our referral. I will be traveling in a few days for a week, will be out of town the week after the fourth and once again in August. Once school is back in session it will be a whirlwind because it will be D's senior year and he plays football. So by the time football is done Thanksgiving will be right around the corner, then December will be upon us. December will see us heading out to San Diego to watch W graduate from Boot Camp and hopefully bring us good news in the form of our referral. I have never wanted six months to pass so quickly before in my life. Here we go with that patience thing again, huh?

More Ponderin'

I'm not quite sure when I became such a klutz but I did several things today that just reaffirmed the fact that yes I am indeed a klutz. I used to be a cheerleader. A flyer to be exact. I could scale many levels of people in a single bound, end up on top of a mount smiling and willingly jump/twist off and land on my feet. With a smile on my face. Somewhere along the way I seemed to have lost that grace and poise. Imagine if you will approaching the front of your all glass building where there is a meeting room filled with your colleagues looking out, you know they can see you but you can't see them through the smokey glass. You know the room is filled with people because you checked the schedule the day before, you walk tall as you are approaching the building, shoulders squared, head lifted, maybe even flipping your hair casually just to appear like you have it all together. You are wearing heels, feeling pretty good about yourself when IT happens. Just before the entrance your heel gets stuck in the crack in the sidewalk filled with goo. Your shoe sticks, the rest of your body does not. You end up propelling forward in an awkward hopping motion since you now only have one shoe. Shouting to yourself inside your head-do not fall, do not fall, do not f...... You end up not falling but not because of your cat like abilities but because your awkward hopping, forward propelling motion lands you in a bush instead. Leaves me to ponder-will Kolaina think I'm a cool mom if something like this happens while we are somewhere, like the mall, and she is hyperventilating because at the same time she spots the boy she has a crush on from math class he spots her and her mom is oh so gracefully hopping around on one foot because she just lost her heel?

If this was an isolated event it might not have got me pondering but many of you know the story of me losing the top to my swimming suit while at the completely packed pool in Hawaii and of me not having a pocket to carry a t*mpon in and ever so cooly tucking it into my pants waistband only to discover that it came out my pantleg while I was walking-that would be walking right in front of one of my male bosses. I probably don't have to remind anyone of the time I gave myself whiplash while wearing heels and having my heel sink into a hole in the floor at the office of my previous employer (in my defense I was walking REALLY fast to keep up with someone who had VERY long legs). I think I will take up ballet, or maybe yoga. I think I need to do something to help me get my coordination back. Or I need to hope that I have a really clumsy daughter.

Things to Ponder...

It is pretty incredible the way this adoption has kind of flowed right along with big moments in W's life. We received our corrected 171-H on W's graduation day, we received word that we were DTC the day before W's open house, we should receive our referral around the same time that W graduates from Boot Camp. I was talking to one of my friends about all of these coincidences when she made a startling observation. I have told people that I really believe that Kolaina was born in December. December just happens to be the month that W and M were born. December 2nd to be exact. She asked me if I had thought about the possibility that she could share a birthday with my boys. Huh? Nope, that thought never crossed my mind. Now it seems that that is all that I think about. The Chinese have a belief (I am paraphrasing here) that when someone is born there is an invisible red thread that connects that person to everyone who will be important in his/her life irregardless of time. The timing of all of these events does tend to make one go hmmmmm.

We Are DTC!!!

We received word on Friday that our paperwork made it into the "China Box" and was being mailed to China that day. So we are officially DTC. What does DTC stand for you ask? It stands for "Dossier to China". It is the next major hurdle we had to cross. We now wait for word of our LID which is our "log in date". The log in date is the official start of the waiting. Typically speaking you can expect to receive your referral for your daughter six months after your log in date. Since we are June DTC our referral should come right before Christmas!

I'm leaving on a jet plane

Okay so maybe it's not really me that's leaving....it is something even better. It is our dossier!! I paid the nice Fed Ex man this afternoon and sometime after 6:00 pm tonight our dossier will be making its way across the country to Texas to be delivered to our adoption agency by 10:00 am tomorrow morning. Woo-hoo!!! How happy can one family be? Well, our family is pretty dog gone happy tonight. I have no idea when our DTC date will be or what our LID will be (my understanding is you get your LID 7-15 days after your dossier is received by the Chinese government.) If this is true this is very good news. We could squeeze in under the wire for a June LID!! The paper chase has ended. Today is a very good day!

Bursts of Joy

Our corrected I-171H form came back to us last week. I took Friday off and drove like a mad woman to the Great Seal to get the document certified. On the way back into town I stopped at the bank and got a money order then stopped by my office to make a copy of the certified I-171H. I then had lunch with my social worker and proceeded to pop all of the documents that needed to go to Chicago to be authenticated into an Express Mail envelope and send them on their way. All day on Friday I was giddy. While lunching with my social worker she filled me in on what is happening with her personal quest to adopt her second daughter from China. As it turns out, she sent her documents to be authenticated one day before me! She then let me know that there are 7 families within a 60 mile radius that are at the same place in this adoption process, using the same adoption agency and so we are all planning on getting together and getting to know each other over the next 6 months. After I left her I was just so over the top happy. When I stopped by the post office to mail my documents, I had to ask the postal clerk if she would be willing to take a picture of me holding the Express Mail envelope (so if anyone was in the post office at the same time as the crazy woman holding up the line posing for a picture while laughing and crying at the same time, I apologize.) I want Koli's journey to be as well documented as possible. I want her to know that even before we knew her face, we loved her and felt it important to chronicle the entire process of bringing her home. Once I left the post office I called L on my cell phone and just burst out crying. He was so worried until I could blurt out that I was crying tears of happiness and explained that I had just mailed all of the documents to Chicago. Then he became excited as well. We are so close to the end of this paper chase. It should be at the end of next week that we receive our authenticated documents back, the next day we will Fed Ex our entire dossier to our adoption agency. So a June DTC date is looming ahead for us. While doing the calculations from that point forward, we should receive our referral in December. I want nothing more for Christmas than to be able to hold a picture of my daughter and know that very soon after that we will be holding her. Ever since Friday I will just be suddenly filled with bursts of joy. I break into a huge grin and feel so good. Our paper chase is almost over, we are only a few steps away from having our documents in the hands of the Chinese government. I think I am finally going to be able to start breathing again.

It's Finally Here (well, sorta)

Our I171H, the final piece of paper that we were waiting for is here! I tore open the envelope on Thursday afternoon so fast that I was afraid I ripped the form itself. After being so depressed that day, I got home from work to find it in our mailbox. I had to really make a genuine effort to keep my excitement to a minimum because it was W's high school graduation and the day really belonged to him. So I made arrangements at work on Friday to come in late on Monday so that I could take the document to the Great Seal to be certified on Monday. Today I was really looking over the document and realized that there is a potential error on the form!! The form states the day the request was received in their office (March 2005) along with the date the request was authorized (May 2005) only our form does not state May 2005-it states May 2006!! So I don't think I am going to be able to have a form certified that looks like it should not even be in existence for another year. I have emailed our adoption agency and will wait to hear from them tomorrow morning. We are sooooo close to the end of the paperchase that I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight while I worry myself to death over whether or not this is going to push us back. The form also has us approved for two children. Great to know but we only requested one. I tried to talk L into changing our letter requesting that we be allowed to adopt a baby to asking to be allowed to adopt twins but he's not budging on that one so I'm not pushing the issue. Keep your fingers crossed that this all gets worked out quickly so we can get these documents sent to China soon!

What a week!

This week has been frought with different emotions. Tuesday was the one year anniversary of my dad's death. To say the day was difficult would be an understatement. I know he is in a better place but I have had such a range of emotions running through my body this week that it has been pretty incredible. My poor family probably thinks that I am becoming a multi-personality individual. I am comforted by knowing that he is in Heaven but I am so sad at the same time. Tonight is W's high school graduation. I am absolutely thrilled and very proud of W's accomplishments and can hardly wait to celebrate tonight, I am sure he will feel his grandpa and grandma's spirits with him as he walks across that stage tonight. So joy and sadness are combined in my heart right now.

The clock is still ticking on the ever elusive and I do mean elusive 171-H. I'm beginning to think that it may never come. There is no joy in that statement that's for sure (sigh)

Clarifications and sweetness

I got an email from our adoption agency yesterday that was quite timely for me. I had been very confused as to what to call the agency that issues the 171H and they just happened to decide to provide everyone with a glossary of terms. This helped clear up my confusion on a number of different fronts. So the agency that will be issuing the 171H is now called the USCIS-formerly known as BCIS-formerly known as INS. So, now I'm up to speed on that one.
Our agency does not issue a DTC and Log-In date. They consider the date that your document is logged in to be your DTC date. So that means that we cannot be DTC in May. No matter when we send in our documents now our DTC date will be in June because it takes about 2 weeks once the documents get to China to be logged in.
So this takes some of the pressure off of my being out of town next week. I realized that I could not have my mom get our 171H certified if it came while I was away because we need to have a notarized statement along with a copy of the 171H to be certified. Since L is still hunting large scary bears out of the country, it would be impossible to move forward until he comes back home. So the Jeopardy music plays on in my head.
I have been so blessed with having some terrific friends. They listen to me whine and complain, share in my joy and always watch out for me. Koli's favorite aunt (actually one my best friends)is so dear to me. She has one of the purest hearts of anyone that I have ever met. She constantly amazes me with the care and compassion that she showers on all that are around her. She is one of those people that others are instantly attracted to. She is beautiful on the outside-and I mean drop dead gorgeously beautiful, but the beauty of her innermost self dwarfs her outer shell. She gave me my first Mothers Day gift from Koli. I drove home crying after receiving this gift because I was just overwhelmed with the thoughtfulness and caring I receive from her on a daily basis.
So today I have my sane hat back on. I realize that the timing of having our 171H certified is going to have to wait until L gets back anyway, assuming that it comes next week. I think I can handle this now but I apologize to all of you if when I come back from my business trip next week I still don't have the document. If you thought I have whined alot already, watch out. :)