This is the ongoing story of faith, love and family as we walk through this life with 3 sons, one daughter, one daughter in law and one grandson

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Mean People Suck


I am fairly new to this thing called the adoption community. Those of you that know me know that one thing I do well is research and plan. So although we have not been part of the adoption community for long I feel that I have done a fairly decent job of bringing myself and L up to speed on all of the important things regarding China and adoption. I am constantly amazed at the attitudes of other adoption community members. I used to be glued to the big board regarding China adoptions, now I can barely bring myself to view that board once a week. It is inexplicable to me how people who are traveling the same path can be so cruel and condescending to each other at times. I personally don't care if someone is searching for the perfect patriotic outfit to bring their new daughter home in. Doesn't matter to me. Not one iota. I don't care if they want their Coming Home Barbie or not. These things hold no relevance for me. That they are of importance to others is pretty evident on the big board. I try to live by the rule that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. There are obviously lots of people out there whose Mama's never taught them that rule. Why the need to put someone else down? Beginning this process of international adoption has forced me to really examine what is important to me and I can tell you that how someone else is going to dress their baby is not on my radar. I have been shocked on more than one occasion by the remarks people make to me when they find out we are adopting from China. I think that everyone who has made this decision has been faced with the same kinds of questions. Things like-Why do we feel the need to buy our baby? How come we are not strong enough parents to take in a foster child or two and adopt them? What's wrong with a good ole American baby? Normally I try to deflect the questions and move on. I'm not sure how I am going to react once we have Kolaina home and someone makes a racist remark. I hope that I can remain calm while letting the person know how out of line the comment is but I am afraid that the Mama Bear in me will rear her ugly head and leave the person asking the question realing. I don't want to be a mean person so just play nice okay?


Scott and Karen said...

Hang in there - I've often thought that the reason for "the wait" is so that our skin can thicken toward all the insensitive comments we hear regarding our adoption.

Congrats on your DTC, by the way...let the wait begin!


dualouie said...

Please don't feel bad or that you are the only one! If it's the same board then I don't go to that one either anymore, it's the same ole nasty, mean comments from the same old hypocrites! it's not a good site. This one looks great however! and congrats on your dtc! and mean people do suck!!!

About Me

I am a Christian woman, the wife of an outdoorsman and mom to a computer loving twenty something guy, a Marine, a Sailor and a three year old Princess who rules the roost and has all of us wrapped around her little finger. Add into the mix a daughter in love and the cutest grandson in the world and you have our big old house of love