Funny What A Little Exercise Will Do

As you can probably tell, I have been stuck in a rut. I forced myself to drag my big old bootie to the gym every day of this week and I am already starting to feel better. Moving my body and the increase in temperatures is certainly helping with my disposition-thank goodness!

Angel On My Mind

Ahhh, the day I dread all year long has somehow snuck up on me. I don't dwell on this date, but somehow my body always knows when March 24th rolls around. This weekend I felt anxious, restless even. I started becoming ugly to the fam on Monday. Today I got to work and felt this wave of nausea, this building of emotion that resulted in my having to close my door and allow myself relief in the form of tears. As I was trying to pull myself together, I was trying to think of what could have possibly triggered this flood of emotion. Then it happened. I looked at the calender. Suddenly everything made sense. Today is the day that my 2nd born passed away. No matter how many years go by, that wave of overwhelming sadness seems to envelope me. *sigh* Grief is a funny thing. You never get over it, you just get used to it.

Recap of Vegas

As some of you know (if you follow me on facebook), I had quite the interesting trip to Vegas. In the airport on the way down, I was sitting next to a man who was breathing into a paperbag as we waited to board our plane. I then got sandwiched in between two of the heaviest, sweatiest men I have ever met from Chicago to Vegas. I literally ran to my room once I got my room key just to take a shower. No joke-the stench was awful. Speaking of stench, sat next to someone who had mad gas for the entire day one full day at the conference. Silent but deadly all day long. I think I may have turned a little green by the end of the day. I wanted to check out the pool at the hotel I was staying at, imagine my surprise when I ended up the "clothing optional" pool by mistake! I had to get up super early to catch my flight home. As I was leaving the hotel at 3:30 am I was standing in the taxi line along with alot of young adults. They had been clubbing all night. How do I know this? Might have been when the girl wearing the veil, surrounded by her friends who were actually helping her stay vertical, face planted on the asphalt as she tried to get in the cab-took 4 of her friends down with her. Or the girl who ran from behind me to try to help them, all the while still holding onto an ice pack the hotel had given her to help with the swelling of the black eye she received while at the club. Hmmm, wonder how they all felt the next afternoon. Anyway, it was a good conference and made lots of good contacts. Next time I go I'll try to remember to bring a face mask and elbow pads...

This Week

Started off pretty horrible. Work stuff mostly which seems to be sorting itself out. Merging two companies has certainly had both blessings and challenges. Let's just leave it at that.

We all have been sick in the McGyver house since Sunday. Each with a different virus-this freaks me out to no end~ I will have you know. I just keep having visions of catching the other two forms of illness running rampant through my home, yuck. If I help wash Dreamsicle's hands any more she has informed me that they will most certainly fall off her body.

I keep trying to look forward to the end of the week when I leave for Vegas. Things being what they are, McGyver has cancelled his portion of the trip so I'm on my own this time 'round. Long conference days should keep me busy and it might do me some good to just be able to catch up on a good book and rest during my off time. Hopefully Ms Ginger will be in town while I am there so I can catch up with my multi state living sista.

Just to make you smile-imagine my three year old singing the title track to Mama Mia and dancing the entire way through it. Over. and over. and over. and over. Her day care provider has the DVD and has obviously allowed the little three year old fashionista's to view it on more than one occasion. It does make me smile.

Ugh

I am sick. And tired. No really-I am sick and tired. But then, there is the other kind of sick and tired which I am in the throes of as well. So much deceit, so much anxiety. So much....

Can you all who know me in real life do me one small favor please? PLEASE?

Be who you say you are, do what you say you are going to do, don't hide in the shadows and please above everything else-just. be. honest.

Thank you.

Big Daddy

Yep, that is what Dreamsicle is now calling McGyver. I have no idea where she picked that one up but it is so hysterical (and so fitting). McGyver went away for the night on Saturday. She woke up Sunday morning wondering where her "Big Daddy" was. McGyver is 5'11" but is very big so it is totally appropriate for my littlest of little girls to think of him in that context. He is so stuck with that name from now on. Ha!

Dreamsicle and I had an action packed weekend. I took the day off from work on Friday and we met with some of our playgroup at a place called Play*World. An entire building of bouncy houses and slides, games and more! She had a blast. The only bad thing was that I really enjoy visiting with the other moms and at a place like this, you are kind of forced to go where your kid wants to go. Dreamsicle being the timid one wasn't about to crawl through the tubes and mazes like the other girls so there wasn't alot of visiting going on. We then headed out to do some clothes shopping for the little darlin. I am so in trouble. My girl is already showing signs of becoming a fashionista. She was very vocal about what she likes and doesn't like. She's three people! She is definately channeling my now deceased mother in law-no pastel, demure solid colors for our babe. Everything MUST! BE! COLORFUL! or ANIMAL PRINT! or she wanted nothing to do with it. The other shoppers were cracking up as they heard this little sweet looking thing veto one frilly little grey frock I happened to pick up. I was eyeing the thing picturing how sweet Dreamsicle would look in it when she proclaimed to all within earshot-"Mama, I not like that, it not pretty. Put that back please. Hmmmmm.

We survived Disn*ey On I*ce on Saturday. She was waving and clapping until she couldn't wave any longer. Passed out in the car on the way home and slept like a log all night long.

Now it's back to reality but only 4 more days until we can have more fun together.

Open My Mouth

We are a little bit nuts about Dis*ney at Casa de la Dreamsicle. It has always been that way, not just since Dreamsicle arrived. She has caught the fever though.

About a month ago I saw a tv commercial for Dis*ney On Ice. I immediately went online and bought tickets. The stars aligned that day and I was able to snag the Dreamster and I two front row tickets for the big event. Which will take place on Saturday. Last Saturday she saw the commercial and was so excited just watching the ad that I opened my mouth and proclaimed that we would be going to see the show! Next Saturday! Only 6 sleeps from now! Yep-I told my 3 year old about an event that would be taking place 7 days later.

Let's review how my days have gone since I let the cat out of the bag. Saturday immediately following the proclamation...

D-Mama, I'm tired I need to sleep now
D (after waking from nap) I sleeped-how many sleeps to go?

Last night...
D-Mama, are you awake (last night as she is crawling into our bed)
M-No D, Mama is sleeping.
D-Wake up-is it time to go yet?

This morning...
D-Yeah! It is time to go see Mick*ey Mou*se!
M-No, we still have a few days left to wait
D-Mama, let's go to sleep now!

I have a feeling it is going to be a very long week.

Sappy mom post

These kids of mine make me want to burst sometimes.

Chester called from Iraq to let me know that he has been thinking of me and wanted to be sure that I knew how much he loves me. I so appreciate the way that he calls and truly values my opinion when he is working through something stressful in his life

U*haul called to let me know the same thing before he gets "under-way". He thanked me and asked me to thank his daddy for being so cool. :)

My X*Boy moved back into our house for awhile and it has been so great having him home where I can hug him and see his wonderful smile (we are having his house tested to make sure it is free from toxins-long boring story)

And the icing on the cake yesterday-Dreamsicle told me that I made her laugh so hard that her eyes were "dripping".

These dang kids of mine make my eyes drip too.

My Girl

Dreamsicle and I had a fabulous evening last night. It was just the two of us at home. After reading books we spent the entire evening on the floor rolling around, playing with her toys. The belly laughs that came out of her filled my heart with such joy.

And when I put her to bed last night she hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear-I love you mama you make my tummy happy.

And So It Begins

Dreamsicle has become obsessed with babies. I am certain it is because she watched Pixie's stomach grow then one day a beautiful baby boy showed up at our house! She is now looking for affirmation that she came from my tummy. We have talked about the fact that she is adopted from the moment her feet hit US soil but she is now at the age where she is beginning to process what all of that means. Please don't let me mess these discussions up!

Random Things

1.U*haul will be going "under way" soon for the first time. He will be part of the crew of his submarine, actually doing the job that he has been training for over the past year. He called me yesterday to let me know that he was on his way to get some last minute supplies. Things like more socks and t-shirts and under way-r (underwear). I crack myself up.

2.The temperatures are actually climbing and I can feel my spirits lifting!

3.We have heard from Chester quite a bit over the last 30 days, now we expect that we won't hear from him so much for quite a while.

4.I think I am developing an ulcer.

5. I am missing my Dad alot right now.

6.I think I may be addicted to changing the background of my blog. So many choices!

7. I am determined to catch up on all of my laundry this weekend .

TGIF!

I couldn't leave the whiny post up at the top. That is so not me. So-Happy Friday!

Winter Hum-Drums

Yep, I've got them. It appears as if the temperature is actually going to begin climbing back up now so we should be on the back end of the ick but I'm stuck in the single digits emotionally today. I think the lack of sun for so long has really done me in. Maybe I need to invest in a light box. What I really need is a warm weather destination vacation but that won't be happening this year. Way to much going on right now. Now that I think about it, it may be the level of busy that is getting me down. I come home from work exhausted and my time with Dreamiscle is so precious that I can't seem to tear myself away from her long enough to throw in a load of laundry, straighten up the house or (heaven forbid) actually exercise.

I am sure that if I stopped whining it would help tremendously-hmmmm-off to sing a happy song and find my happy place

Don't Try This At Home....

So yesterday I was being all Mar*tha Stew*art-y and making all kinds of tasty and delish foods to nosh on for the Super*bowl. One of those dishes happened to be guacamole. I lurv me some good homemade guac. I happily mashed the avacadoes, squeezed the limes for fresh lime juice and diced the tomatoes and jalapenos... after mixing aforementioned ingredients in a happy little bowl and placing it gently in the 'fridge I jumped in the shower. Things were going well as I washed my hair, applied conditioner and went to wash my face. I started scrubbing my face with my hands lathered in face wash, making sure to give my eyes a good once over so as to avoid those pesky racoon eyes that come with not getting all of your mascara off when I literally felt like my face was on fire. Note to self...be certain that the jalapeno residue is thoroughly rinsed off your hands before taking a shower.

I need a cleaning fairy...

And a cooking fairy, and a laundry fairy and well, you get the picture. I am so not complaining about how busy we are but dang-I am seriously packing on some pounds from eating on the run. I am resorting to picking up clothes, smelling them then putting them back on (okay it's not quite that bad yet but still). This business needs as much time and attention as we can give it (probably the reason I am still at the office right now). Dreamsicle's illness meant 5 days of X*boy watching her at the house since she was too ill to go to daycare. I do not have to worry about the care Dreamsicle receives from X*boy-he ranks real high on her favorite person list but the house looks like a bomb went off every day when I get home and I think if this keeps up I may begin using my stove as a decorative object since it isn't being used to cook anything.

Chasing My Tail

Chinese New Year began yesterday. I had every intention of starting the New Year honoring some of the traditions that go along with the celebrating. Doing things like thoroughly cleaning my house, decorating appropriately, handing out red envelopes-making a yummy dinner.

But the unexpected delay in getting out of Vegas which put us home on Sunday rather than Saturday coupled with Dreamsicle needing all of the time, attention and love I can give her right now since she is very ill brought my good intentions to a screeching halt.

Thankfully she is only three so she won't remember that we did nothing but I think just to be safe I should start planning now for next year.

Where Is The Time Going?

Wow, I blinked and January is almost over! Things have been crazy busy with work-I'm hoping that by the middle of February we will be able to slow down a little. Dreamsicle is spending more than enough time in the "oppice" with us. It hasn't helped that we have been virtually house bound because of the frigid temperatures. We watched the news this morning and it looks like there is another arctic blast coming our way-just in time for our return home. Blech.

We were able to spend time with my older sister this past week. Her family moved into their new home a month ago and all I can say is Wow! It is absolutely beautiful. And so deserved after everything that she has survived over the years. I am so proud of you Ginger-you go girl!

Happy 2009!

May this year be filled with joy and happiness for you all. May you be filled with peace and enjoy many nights of childlike slumber.

Goodbye 2008!

The January Project

It is funny how there are times in your life when a cliche really is an appropriate method to describe a feeling. This past May I was filled with sadness, hurt and even a little bit of despair. I had to question everything I thought I knew, learned that people I thought I could count on I really couldn't once there was nothing left for them to gain from me. Forced to realize that more often than not the word "friendship" held no value to people I would have laid down my life for. That period of my life was a dark, dark space that I wasn't sure I would ever be able to crawl out of.



During that period someone reminded me that God never closes a door without opening a window. At the time of that little reminder I wasn't so ready to really believe that. In fact, I am pretty sure I might have even said a few bad words to the person that gave me that gentle reminder if I am not mistaken. But it is true. So. True.



Out of all of the evil and darkness, a transformation began to take place. My relationship with McGyver was strengthened. When I couldn't pick my head up off of my pillow, he was there. When I couldn't string two coherent sentences together without bursting into tears he was there. When I was hurt by the silence and distance of others my husband was there. Through it all he reminded me of who I was. He forced me to look ahead. He challenged me to grow. Through that whole process I fell in love with my man all over again. The relationship we have because of what we endured is worth the pain we had to go through to get where we are now. That gift alone is priceless. But the Lord was not done with just giving us the gift of a renewed relationship and belief in each other.



He had additional plans for us. We started our new company in July. Still wobbly and shaken, I was forced to put myself out there to push for our vision to create a company that valued its employees, brought jobs to our local economy and allowed me the opportunity to truly be present in Dreamsicle's life. We were blessed with a tiny little account to whom I will forever be grateful. When they agreed to sign with us our company started. Soon after that we were blessed with a much larger client. We were able to hire employees, lease office space, really start working towards fulfilling our dreams. From July until now we have seen steady growth-now on the cusp of 2009 we are growing again.



Today at 2:00 we acquired another company. A company that is quadruple the size of what we were this morning. A company that has incredible employees, shares a vision much like our own and gives us the ability to bring more jobs to our local area, allowing us to employ more people who so desperately need work. The opportunity presented itself a little over a month ago so we have been working day and night to make this happen. The odds were against us, the timeline so tight that we know that the Lord cleared the way in order for us to make this happen.



We have been blessed. And because of His blessings we hope to be able to bless others-with a job close to home, a good wage and a great place to work.



So the next time someone tells you the old "the Lord doesn't close a door without opening a window" cliche, be still and wait to feel the wind from the open window.

I used to laugh at my Grandma

My mom came from a large family. Growing up we would visit my Grandma's house and she would always have something yummy she could pull out of the freezer to warm up for us to eat. I cannot remember the number of times she would tell us that she had trouble learning how to cook for just her and my Grandpa after the kids grew up. I would always giggle to myself wondering just how hard could it be to reduce your serving sizes.

Grandma is now up in Heaven but I owe her an apology. Apparently I have more of her in me than I even realized. This is what I prepared for our Christmas dinner last night:

Appetizers
Cold Shrimp
Water Chestnuts wrapped in bacon
Beef Roll Ups

Main Course
Potato/Squash Soup
Prime Rib
Rice Pilaf
Garlic Bread

Dessert
Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream

Guess who I made all of that for...McGyver, me, X*Boy and Dreamsicle.

We will be eating leftovers for a very, very long time.

The absence of Chester and U*Haul was felt by everyone. Little Pea and Pixie were home for the opening of gifts in the morning but then headed out on the road for more celebrating with her family so it was a quiet afternoon.

The morning on the other hand was a flurry of happiness and toddler giggles as Dreamsicle opened her gifts. She totally got the whole go to bed on Christmas Eve wake up to gifts from Santa on Christmas morning. So much so that when she went to bed last night she asked if Santa was going to come again. Heh, smart kid.