Metcha Day 2006!

August 28th, 2006 was so hot. We had arrived in Jiangxi earlier in the day and took a bus to a government office. I can remember riding the elevator up to floor number 7. When we stepped off the elevator you could hear babies. As we entered the room that held our babies, I laid eyes on Dreamsicle for the first time. She was holding on to her Ayi, lightly tapping her leg over and over. She had little tufts of bird hair and was the tiniest of the tiny. Wearing summer Strawberry Shortcake pajamas and pink shoes. My heart was pounding so loud I really thought that the other families would most certainly be able to hear it. I could hardly contain myself as I watched her, mesmerized by her every move. At one point, while our guide was having a conversation with the orphanage director I was aching to hold Dreamsicle so badly that I pleaded with McGyver to "just go get her". It happened soon enough, we were the second family called. When they finally placed her in my arms, I took her to a quiet corner of the room and don't remember a thing about the rest of the families getting their babies. I was so deeply in love at that very moment that the rest of the world seemed out of focus. Time seemed to stand still as I held her and we scoped each other out. There were what seemed like hours of waiting around after that, completing paperwork, sweating like never before, impatiently waiting to be able to go back to the hotel to begin our lives together as a family.

Here we are one year later. The tiniest of the tiny has grown so much, come so far, completely entrenched herself into the fiber of our very beings. Thanks for allowing us to parent you Dreamsicle. We are so blessed

The Social Worker

It is done. The social worker social working portion of our adoption was completed last Monday. Said social worker visited the house commented on how far Dreamsicle has come since our 6 month post placement and left. So the official part is complete. Almost. I still have not applied for Dreamsicle's birth certificate. This I must do soon~note to self.

This Girl That Is Two

Where has my baby gone? This girl that is two is so quickly changing before my eyes. Her ever expanding vocabulary is so exciting to hear except. except. inexplicably she has suddenly decided that the word "sit" must now have an "h: in it after the "s". Hmmmm, perhaps Daddy needs to be more aware of his language...She can clearly identify every member of our family but absolutely refuses to say her name. I'm getting a little worried that she may find herself going to kindergarten and signing the word "duck" when they ask her her name. These are the pics of Dreamsicle getting ready to watch the parade on the Fourth of July. Yes, there really is a full scale nativity scene in the background of one of these pictures. What? You mean to tell me that your town doesn't pull out the Christmas decorations for 4th of July?

Thank You

To Dreamsicles birth parents. Thank you for the choice you made. We will light a candle to honor and remember you every year on her birthday just as we did yesterday.

Happy Birthday!

Today our Dreamsicle turns two. TWO! The theme for the birthday party is Two for Two. We have a whole lot of celebrating to do to make up for birthday number one which came and went without us being united as a family. So today Dreamiscle will be receiving two presents and two cakes.

In her referral paperwork one of the words to describe her was clever. That she is. We went out to eat last Sunday. I gave her a sip of my soda and she wanted more. I redirected her to her milk but she was sitting right next to me. She pointed over my shoulder and asked "what's that?" I looked away to see what she was pointing at only to turn back around and find her sipping on my soda again!

Our girl is the most tenderhearted, loving child I have ever encountered. She touches every single person she meets. I look back on our family 3 years ago and now realize that it never would have been complete if she had not joined it. Thank you Dreamsicle for completing our family circle. We love you and are so glad you are finally home.

Pictures!

From left to right: Koli wearing her daddy's shades; playing with her cousin at the family reunion; chillin' on Grandma's porch; showing off her new ability to wear piggy tails.

This Mom's Heart

I have so many posts sitting in "draft" status right now. I'm going through a rough time and can't seem to articulate what it is that I am feeling. But I'm going to try.

Chester is out on his longest mission yet. We have not heard from him for some time now and I am filled with anxiety. I long to hear his voice and know that he is okay. Not just physically but emotionally as well. He has done well so far but I feel deep within my very core that this mission is somehow different and I worry about the well-being of his heart. I worry about the well being of my heart~should his heart be breaking over there, I can only console from a distance. This separation is difficult and I ache for the day when he is back on US soil.

Dreamsicle's birthday is just days away now. I cannot stop thinking about her birth parents. I know that even after all of these years I still rejoice but also dread Chester and Angel Baby's birthday. I wonder if Dreamsicle's birth mom is counting the days until August 2nd like I do December 2nd. I wonder if she is remembering where she was, what she was doing as she prepared for the arrival of this baby. We will never know the circumstances surrounding her decision to abandon this precious girl of ours but based on what little information we have, I think it was a difficult decision for her. That's not something I will ever tell Dreamsicle because it is not based on fact. The truth is I will never have the answer for Dreamsicle but I think there will always be a sadness whether she verbalizes it or not as she gets older that she does not have that information. The big WHY? I'm sure that her birthday will always be a hard time for her. This little Dreamsicle the Tiny, the person McGyver and I so desperately want to protect and nurture and love, will undoubtedly wrestle with this sadness all on her own. We can be there to listen and comfort, but we can't own or take away her grief. I pray that the love we have for her is enough to help her get through it. This year I will cherish her birthday, not only because it is the first one we will celebrate as a family, but because it could quite possibly be the only one we will ever have that she will be able to enjoy without anything getting in the way of her happiness.

Big Doings at (new) Casa de la Dreamsicle

Things are a changing here in the land of Dreams. We have had a change of address. That's right-we moved out of the big house in the hundred acre woods and bought a new home on the water. It is simply divine. Our house faces a bayou, you cannot see another house from our yard-I am in heaven. Moving was awful. The home we purchased is about half of the size of our old one-trying to decide what needed to be moved and what didn't was a tedious, time consuming task but it is over and we are settled (finally). It is nice to be able to be surrounded by my family again. We literally could go days without seeing the boys when they lived at home in the big house. With three floors and too many tv's, gaming systems to mention I often felt disconnected. I wanted a smaller home for the safety/security of me and the babe when McGyver is away on his hunting trips but also because there are just 3 of us left in the house. This fits us. Dreamsicle handled the move like a champ. The floating playpen is securely fastened to our dock and we can decide on a whim to take the boat out now! Yippee!!

We also sold our 5th wheel. I know! Can you believe it? I had to seriously stop and consider the fact that we only use it one weekend a year for my family reunion-not really wise to keep something for one weekend a year. So we put the for sale sign in it and it sold within 3 days. To a lovely older couple who vacation in Southern Texas. I'm sure they will love it as much as I did.

The fourth of July had its good parts and bad parts. Dreamsicle adored the parade (big, loud sirens and all) and absolutely HATED the fireworks. She hid under a blanket (we were on the floating playpen) the entire time then fell asleep as soon as they were over. So not what I was expecting when I thought last year of what this year with her would be like. But-next year she will be a year older. I have pictures to share and will do that within the next day or two. But for now, if you can't find me it is because I am outside sitting on my deck, enjoying the view.

This time last year

This time last year I received word that our referral was winging its way across the ocean. I can remember the nervous anticipation that filled my very soul as I tried to sleep on the eve of our referral. Thoughts of our Dreamsicle~would she be healthy, young/old, happy/sad filled the night time hours as I waited for morning to arrive.

The next day June 26th dawned bright and beautiful. I went to work since I had no idea when the phone call would arrive. McGyver called early afternoon to tell me that our adoption agency had left a message on his cell phone but he wanted me to take the call. I called from work and received all of the info on our precious girl. I could not stop crying as I heard the details of our newest family member. "10 months old, a little wisp of a thing but cuter than all get out" was how the person from the adoption agency described her. I had no idea how true that description was until I received her photos later that evening.

One year ago tomorrow, we saw the face of our precious girl for the first time. What a difference a year makes.

The final pics

Dreamsicle filling her Mama's shoes, sleeping after her long day of boating, daddy and Dreamsicle on the boat (notice the grill, yes it is attached to the floating playpen)

And Even More Photos!

Dreamsicle on the boat, corn on the cob, I posted the same pic twice,

I have too many photos to upload at once so here are some more!

Dreamsicle taking her baby for a ride, on the carousel at Disneyland, Chester's last meal before Iraq, just love her shirt, being carried around in U*Haul's work duffle bag

Pics A Plenty, Pics Galore!

Photos of Dreamsicle and Chester, Dreamsicle on the plane to see Chester, Dreamsicle's first corn on the cob, first trip on the floating playpen and various other sweet shots. Enjoy!

Memorial Day, Shoes and the Floating Playpen

Memorial day has always been a day of solemn remembrance in the McGyver household. Having Chester in harm's way this year gave the day an even greater meaning for us. We spoke to Chester this weekend which certainly helped but boy do I miss that kid. He is doing well and is bored. Bored! The whole time the boys were growing up I would shudder when they would utter that word. Now it brings joy to my heart. Stay bored the entire summer Chester. Please stay bored.

Reason 365,762 that I am certain the Lord matched us with the perfect little girl. Dreamsicle has started talking in her sleep. It is mostly baby babble but one word caught my ear that she kept repeating while I was listening to her through the baby monitor. She was happily exclaiming Shoes! in her sleep. Ahhh, I love that girl.

This weekend marked Dreamsicle's first time on the floating playpen. I have pictures to prove it but I can't find my blasted camera plug in thingy-ma-do to upload them to my computer so you will have to take my word for it until I find it or buy a new one. She was pretty timid at first but soon got her sea legs. She's not a big fan of the life jacket but does love her water shoes (imagine that). Anyway, we had a literal feast on the water with friends of ours. Shrimp scampi, ribs, corn on the cob~a great way to usher in the summer season. Let the fun begin!

Fun Interview

Sooo, my friend Susan picked me to interview. If you would like to get in on this, please do the following...

1. Leave me a comment saying "interview me"-yes all of you lurkers who never, never comment, this means you.
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions-but I get to pick the questions!
3. You will update your blog with the answers to those questions.
4. You have to include this explanation and the offer to interview others
5. When other people comment asking to be interviewed you will ask them five questions of your own choosing.

Now-on to the fun!

1. In the last 6 months what single purchase has been the most important in your life?

This one was easy-the airline tickets that flew us out to California so that we could see Chester off when he left for the sandbox.

2. Do you change your bedding/curtains with the season?

Are you kidding me? Do people really do that? McGyver is lucky if the bottom and top sheet match most days!

3. If a movie was made based on your life who would play you and your husband and why

This one took a little thinking but I would have to say the Meg Ryan would be me. Most of the characters she plays are a little quirky but flawed which is true of me in real life. Clint Eastwood would have to play McGyver. Remember when he uttered the phrase-"Go ahead-make my day"? Enough said.

4. A close friend of yours is getting ready to walk out the door and the outfit she has on is totally hideous and looks awful. Do you tell her or pretend she looks great?

I totally would tell her. That's what friends do. If I didn't tell her I would be afraid that Karma would come around and smack me in the face one day. Something would happen-like I would have something hanging out of my nose and she would let me walk around knowing that I had a waver.

5. If you were to take a week long car trip with your family or friends what complaint are you most likely to hear from your fellow travelers? What complaint are they most likey to hear from you?

If I was traveling with my family they would beg me not to drink any liquid since I tend to have to visit the restroom alot and my biggest complaint about them would be to stop passing gas!

Happy Mothers Day!

Cabela's -- Tailgator Gas-Powered Blender


I know that I should probably write about the significance of this day now that Dreamsicle is in our lives. I should say something heartfelt about her first mom and the incredible gift she gave us but it is still too new and too personal to share with everyone out in Blogistan.

Instead I wanted to share my gifts.

From X*Boy I received a very nice card and a half gallon of Moose Tracks Ice Cream (my fave)

From Chester I received a 5:00 am wake up call from the Sandbox wishing me a happy mother's day.

From U*Haul and Pixie I received a singing card that Dreamsicle insists on carrying around, opening up and getting her groove on to, a full length mirror and a hanging planter.

But Dreamsicle knew that her mommy needed just the right thing for the floating playpen and got me the gas powered blender shown at the top of this post. This babe knows her mommy well.

Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

We have had a fairly easy time with Dreamsicle and her transition into our family. We've hit our first major bump in the road and it is tearing my heart out. There have been some changes at her day care providers home and I think they have rocked her world. Her favorite friend had to have a tonsillectomy so she was gone for two weeks. The very first day her friend wasn't at day care a brand new baby was added to the daycare fold. Our Dreamsicle loves order and has a hard time with change. Being not yet two, I'm not sure what she processed when one day she went to daycare and her *friend wasn't there but there was a new baby in her place. Did it trigger something from her past? Since that time she has had a difficult time sleeping at night. She wakes up multiple times and cries big my -heart- is -breaking sobs which require me to actually pick her up and rock her to get her to calm down. She has also started to be too friendly. Which of course has me convinced that all of the work we have done to promote attachment has failed and I. am. the. worst. mother. in. the. world. therefore she cannot attach. The right side of my brain knows this is not the truth, she certainly knows who her parents are. Attachment is an ongoing process. It doesn't happen over night, or even over the course of months. But the left side of my brain cringes every time she waves hi at every stranger she sees, asks to be picked UP by random people in the grocery store and will blow kisses to anyone who looks her way. Dudes, that bothers the heck out of me. The two of us are hunkering down this weekend, spending a very low key weekend at home. We can just gaze dreamily into each other's eyes, have ticklefests and feed each other cheerios while reading books. And if that doesn't help her to feel more secure I just may **tie her arms to her side when out in public to help her resist the urge to want to please those she doesn't know.

*her friend came back to daycare last Wednesday

**no, I really don't intend to tie her arms down

Fun, fun, fun!

I had to go to DC this past weekend for work. While there I met up with one my of blogging buddies. Can I just tell you that I had an absolutely marvelous time? You know how when you meet someone for the first time your half afraid that they will end up being a freak? I'm happy to say that meeting S was probably one of my most non freakiest encounters ever. She totally rocks! We stayed up late, ate good food, did all of the touristy DC things and had a splendid time. There was one little problem though-it had been a long time since S had been to DC. I was great at being able to show her the landmarks most of the time. Some of the buildings just completely escaped me. I could not for the life of me remember what some of the buildings were. So I'd tell her to take a picture because I knew it was something of historical importance and hoped that her husband W would be able to identify them. We joked that she could post the pictures on her blog and do a "Where in the world is S" just to see who could tell us what the names of the buildings are. That would be fun. I'm hoping to get her and her fabulous family up to the mitten state sometime this summer so she can experience the "floating playpen" for herself. Can't wait!

I'm Not A Gunslinger, really

McGyver loves to watch old western movies. You know the kind-with the showdown on the one street that runs through town and the crazy music in the background. I'm getting a little worried about myself. I can actually hear some of that music in my head now. You see, since Chester left my Blackberry is attached at my hip. Literally. I carry it with me every where I go since I'm never going to know when or where he will call (please God, don't let it be while I'm using the restroom, I would have no choice but to answer it!). Anyway, having the darn device attached to my hip makes me feel like I'm packing some heat. Instead of drawing my gun, I'll be drawing my phone out of its holster. Ready to fire by pushing the answer button. Oy it's going to be a long 7 months.

I sent his first care package out today. That was pretty fun. I actually giggled a little at the things I put in there because he will think they are funny and I know he will be comforted.

In Dreamsicle news...she was an absolute dream on our trip. She ate like a big girl, slept great and was a happy, happy little girl. The way she pronounces Chester's real name would melt even the coldest heart. They bonded so strongly during this trip. Chester kept asking her to please remember him which broke my heart. We went to Disneyland where she thought riding in the stroller people watching and listening to the music was much more fun then having her daddy and mommy put her on the carousel. We got a few pictures of her with characters but she wasn't too thrilled with the whole idea of having a couple of large mice next to her. She did go crazy over Donald Duck and Chip and Dale though. She thought they rocked the house and kept yelling Chip! Chip! Chip (which ticked Dale off since she kept calling him Chip! too). I think she wants to marry Donald. That's how enamoured our girl was with the crazy duck.

Please don't say you're sorry

We just returned home today from California. The purpose of the trip was to see Chester off. Our son is a Marine. A very proud Marine. He enlisted into the Marine Corps with his eyes wide open about the Iraqi conflict. He knew that he would be called to serve over there at some point in his career and this is the time. As much as this mother's heart hurts for the danger that he will face, it pales in comparison to the pride that fills my chest over the man that he has become.

Our family and friends were alerted to the fact that the time had come for Chester to go and many offered words of encouragement. Some, however, did not. They offered their sympathy instead. To the parents of a Marine, Soldier, Airman or Sailor who is serving their country~telling them you are sorry that their child has chosen to serve is much like slapping them in the face. If not for these brave men and women, where would our country be? I gladly passed along the well wishes from back home, told Chester of the many, many people that asked us to convey their thanks for his service, but kept the offers of condolensce to myself.

So our countdown begins. Every day that he is gone is one day closer to his return. We will pray for his safety, load him up with as many comforts from home as we can along the way and be there to grab him when he lands back on US soil. At that time I hope the only thing he ever hears is "Thank you and Welcome Home".