A Mama's Hug

I remember when the boys were young, every scrape or social injustice could be cured by a hug from their mama. I wish that was still the case. Tough times right now in the McGyver house.

Happy Anniversary Mcgyver

25 years ago I stood in the basement of my church wearing a white dress, hoping to keep the tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes at bay so that I would not ruin my makeup.

25 years ago I walked down the aisle of my church with my Dad at my side. As we took that slow walk up the aisle he whispered to me-you look beautiful and when we get to the front of the church a new man will become the most important man in your life.

25 years ago McGyver slipped the ittiest, bittiest little diamond ring on my hand (we affectionately named it chip) and we exchanged our vows.

25 years ago we celebrated until the wee hours of the morning. McGyver not wanting to leave the reception one minute early because we were having such a fantastic time surrounded by our family and friends.

25 years ago I married my best friend.

Lil Pea and Pixie

Are on their way back to the Mitten State today. They should arrive this afternoon via a small aircraft that will deposit them close to Pixie's mama's house. I will be picking them up from there. I am simply beside myself today with excitement. I cannot wait to hold that sweet baby again and kiss his chubby little cheeks. Dreamsicle has spent the last three days running around the house shouting-yeah! Lil Pea is coming to visit me! about a million times. U*Haul will be heading *underway* again soon so it made perfect sense to have the rest of his fam come home while he is gone.

I am getting v.v. excited about our upcoming Disney trip. Just the thought of my whole family together again gives me butterflies in my stomach. We are even bringing Aunt Genious along with us so fun is sure to be had by all. Poor Aunt Genious has no idea what she has gotten herself into though I am sure. McGyver has tried to warn her but she really has no idea that I really do get up at the crack of dawn every day and make a ginormous breakfast, start cracking the whip to get everyone showered, clothed and fed early enough to allow for us to make it to each park's rope drop in the morning. Vacation-mama style-doesn't really include relaxing, sleep filled mornings.

Remember the pics I posted of the Floating playpen? Just wait until I post the pictures of the accomodations we will be staying in on our trip. We have a truck camper that will be home to McGyver, myself and Dreamsicle but we are also pulling down a utility trailer that McGyver has fixed up as his mobile "hunting cabin". There is a set of bunkbeds, a resin table and three chairs, two vertical filing cabinets that he uses to house all of his kitchenware items and clothes, and another cot inside the utility trailer. This will be home to Aunt Genious, U*Haul, Pixie and Lil Pea. X*Boy, Chester and Chester's girlfriend (Belle) ***off the beaten bath for a minute-Chester has a girlfriend whom we all adore. Belle is a hometown girl, shares the same values and seems to truly make Chester happy. She would fit nicely into the McGyver family thankyouverymuch.*** Back on track now-X*Boy, Chester and Belle will be coming down a few days after the rest of us due to Belle's college exam schedule. So excited. Can you tell?

Faith

**Warning-raw emotional post ahead**

I miss my faith. Let me rephrase that-I miss being active in my faith. I certainly still have a relationship with God but I don't have a relationship with a church. When all of the mess took place at the last job I was an employee at I was crushed. Crushed because the person that caused all of the ick proclaimed to be a man of faith. Then I watched him do and say things in a manner that were certainly not Christ like. Fast forward a year and a half and over the course of this time span I have been hit again-with people that profess to love God, to claim to be Christians-only to act in devious, dark ways. And it has left me broken.

I used to be active in my church-then we stopped going. And you know what-we never got a phone call from anyone at the church wondering if we were okay, asking how things were with our family-nothing.

I happened to run into my old pastor at the grocery store the other day-he asked when we were going to come back to church then the next sentence out of his mouth was-if we don't start getting people to come back to church we will have to close our doors by spring, we need money. Ummm, I'm thinking you probably won't see me back in the pews of your church any time soon.

I took Dreamsicle to a new church last Sunday. I don't want her growing up without a church family-I used to be the youth leader of my old church for pete's sake! I have done nothing to introduce Christ to her. That became very apparent when she saw a picture of Jesus and asked me who that guy was. That was my wake up call.

If you read this blog and you are a Christian-please pray for me, for my family-that we find our way back. And in the process of finding our way back, that we are protected from the falsehoods that have been following us.

Weekend Update

Dreamsicle and I attended our first Halloween Hollow event on Saturday. It always surprises me that we live in a very, very small community and yet there are numerous events that I never knew took place in our little neck of the woods. Things like the Farmers Market (just discovered that last year), a business expo and now Halloween Hollow. This was a big deal. One of my besties helps coordinate this event and she shared with me that they had 1300 people in attendance on Saturday. 1300! In our little town! At once!

The event consists of having your child/children dress up in their Halloween costumes and visit scores of characters strategically placed in desirable locations on the riverwalk. This year because of the rain, there were no desirable riverwalk locations to be visited, instead we got to visit the ever so fantastic middle school gym. Can I veer off the topic for a moment and ask why, even when no middle school aged child has been sweating in the gym all day the gym still smells like old gym socks and adolescent sweat? Hmmmm?

Anyway-Dreamsicle dressed up in her fairy costume and happily skipped from character to character (even hugging a few which is a huge thing for us-HUGE!) filling her basket with all sorts of goodies along the way. One of the things that I truly appreciated about this event was that the give aways were not just candy. She loaded up on books and coloring books and toothbrushes and toothpaste, little toys and not so much candy. I am totally in love with this event and can't wait until next year to do it all over again.

Go Glamour

Kudos to Glamour Magazine! The November Glamour magazine issue will kick off their new committment to profiling women of all sizes as well as designers that recognize that women come in all shapes and sizes. I haven't purchased a Glamour magazine since I was in my twenties but I will gladly be throwing my hard earned cash at them now.

Raising boys was relatively easy when it came to giving them a positive sense of self. I never really sweated it with them.

Raising Dreamsicle is a different story. I am going to do all that I can to help her feel confident in the body that she has-my greatest hope is that I will be able to instill a sense of self that will make her feel comfortable in her own skin. A pretty lofty goal in today's society.

I hope that other magazines will jump on board once they see the positive response that Glamour has received since making this announcement. Short or Tall, Thin or Not So Thin, we are all women and should be celebrating each other for who we are, not what we look like. And certainly not judging ourselves by a magazine or a designer's idea of what beauty looks like.

SIDS Awareness Month

March 24, 1987 started out as an ordinary day. I had recently gone back to work after giving birth to Angel Baby and Chester. My morning routine usually consisted of getting myself ready, waking up X*Boy and convincing him to eat a bowl of cereal, then waking up the twins and giving them their morning bottles. I usually alternated between babies each morning-waking Angel Baby up first one morning, then Chester the next morning. On this day it was Chester's turn to be served his bottle first. After getting myself and X*Boy ready, I proceeded to feed Chester. The minute I looked into Angel Baby's crib, I knew something wasn't right. It was by the grace of God that McGyver happened to be home that morning. He was in the Marine Corps back in those days and was usually at work by the time I started our morning routine with the kids. I screamed to McGyver to help me and I watched as he picked up our beautiful little boy, who was limp in his arms. While I called 911 McGyver administered CPR. We both knew it was too late, but had still tried so hard to save him.

The first responders confirmed what we already knew-our precious little boy, identical twin to Chester, had passed away at the age of 3 months and 3 weeks.

Before Angel Baby's death, I knew nothing about SIDS. When the coroner called to tell us Angel Baby's cause of death, I collapsed. How could I, his mommy, not have been able to do something to save my own child? It was like a silent stranger had crept into our home sometime the previous night and stolen our baby from us. Not having an answer as to what causes SIDS ate away at me for years after losing Angel Baby.

Thankfully, the years that have passed have found ways to help minimize the risk of losing a baby to SIDS. Who would have ever thought that something as simple as changing the sleeping position of a baby could reduce the number of SIDS related deaths so dramatically? Placing a baby on his/her back while sleeping is now included in the education of new parents. Keeping an uncluttered crib, free from loose blankets, etc is also key. Simple, easy steps to help parents keep their kids safe.

My heart aches every time I hear of another family that has lost a baby to this dreadful, unexplained phenomenon but my heart leaps every time I hear of another positive finding. Hopefully in the near future no family will have to endure the pain that my family has endured.

October is SIDS awareness month, and I wanted to do my part to help raise that awareness by blogging about it. You can help by educating those that you love.

Jumping On The Carousel

At the blog carnival over at (sorry, my linking ability is non-existent) http://www.growninmyheart.com/what-no-one-told-me-about-adoption-carnival-one.

The things No One Told Me About Adoption:

1. No one told me that the very minute I held my daughter for the first time that I would
almost hyperventilate
2. No one told me that our older kids would love their baby sister as much as they do. I fully
expected them to like her but the sheer joy each of them feel every time they see her has
been remarkable.
3. No one told me how truly hard it is to determine whether a behavior is one that is due to
having been institutionalized for the first twelve months of her life or simply Dreamsicle being
herself.
4. No one told me how extremely hard it would be to watch your daughter be overly outgoing
and charming to complete strangers, knowing she was doing it because of her level of
discomfort with the situation but having the strangers think she was just "the cutest little
thing". That wasn't charm, it was pain in disguise.
5. No one ever told me how difficult it would be to get assessments when concerns arise due to
where we live.
6. No one ever told me that I would end up being the disciplinarian in the family for this sweet
girl. The man that raised three sons that we can be proud of, simply cannot reprimand her.
7. No one ever told me how much we have gained by being older parents.

Whose next?

Can We Talk Healthcare?

Those of you that know me in real life know that I own a company that helps with the administrative portion of physician practices. This puts me into a sort of unique position to discuss this issue. I see the results of people who have lost their jobs and thus lost their insurance (keep in mind that we here in the Mitten State have been especially hard hit) every day. The flip side of that is that I see the shrinking reimbursement that my clients are seeing from insurance companies on a daily basis.
Having said all of that I have to tell you that I do not support the plan that is being laid out right now. It shakes me to my very core. Does this make me a bad person? Does this make me a conservative crazy? Heck no. It makes me an American. Someone who sees the struggles that both sides are facing. And in my case, there is actually a third side-that of being a small business owner. A small business owner that can afford to purchase healthcare for me, McGyver and Dreamsicle but not for my employees. This is due to the current regulation that will not allow me to purchase the same low cost plan for my employees that I, as the business owner, can purchase. There are portions of the current plan that excite me-specifically to change the regulation that would allow us to band together with other small business owners to be able to supply our employees with affordable health insurance. There is nothing that would make me happier. But there are far more proposed changes that concern me. The cost to implement this overhaul is a big one. In my opinion, it would be impossible for a plan of this scope and size to not have a price tag associated with it. If that cost isn't absorbed by the taxpayers, is it then expected to be implemented by lowering (yet again) the reimbursement physicians are receiving? It has to come from somewhere folks. I believe that an overhaul of the healthcare system is necessary, but I also believe that something this important deserves much more time to develop. Let's take it slow, keeping open minds and open hearts instead of dividing by party lines.

This Date Will Forever Be Etched In Our Minds

This day, September 11th, will forever be etched in the minds of all Americans. I can still remember where I was-getting ready for a staff meeting-when suddenly one of my co-workers entered the conference room with such a shocked look on her face that I knew immediately something terrible had happened. She could not speak, I thought tragedy must have struck her family. She finally whispered a plea-turn on the television...please...turn on the television. I found the remote, powered the television on just in time to see the 2nd plane hit the Tower. Right then other staff members began entering the conference room-eyes glued to the tv. No one could speak. Tears began to flow. Soon, the entire 75 person staff was crowded into the conference room-trying to understand what had happened. Who could have possibly held such hatred for our country that they would want to kill thousands of innocent people? We sat there that morning and began to pray. We closed the office early that day, I know that everyone wanted to get home to their families just as badly as I did that day. When I arrived home, my boys were shaken-filled with questions. I can remember being very careful with the answers I gave them to the questions they asked. I am certain that the effects of having lived through 09/11/01 shaped my boys view of the world.
I was a chaperone for Chester's New York, Washington DC Senior Trip. One of the areas that we visited was the 09/11 site. While many of his classmates seemed to view the site much like any other historic site I sat back and watched my son stand solemnly at that big gaping hole. He removed his ball cap and whispered oh so quietly "we will never forget".
The following September 11 found my son at his first day of bootcamp. He could not forget. He felt that it was his duty to help contribute to the ongoing protection of this great country of ours. Four years and two tours in Iraq have taken place since that time. Today is the last official day of Chester's enlistment in the United States Marine Corps. We are so proud of the time he served and so thankful that he is home safe with us. The fact that he is home safe with us on today of all days is not lost on any of us. Today I thank everyone who has ever served or is currently serving in our military. And I pray for our collective family of Americans-that we never forget.

Random

I am going to work on changing the background of my blog this weekend. I opened it up today and realized that it looks a little dark and depressing-which is not who I normally am. I think I went through a dark and depressing phase with the loss of Grumpy Old Man but hey-I see the light-just in time for Fall to hit the Mitten State-which means that light will become scarce soon. Speaking of Fall, for some unknown reason I am excited for Fall this year. I am actually giddy with the thought of dressing Dreamsicle in her yummy sweaters, being able to visit an orchard and carve a pumpkin. This is the first year that I have set out Halloween decorations since Dreamsicle joined our family-in the years past she was just too timid and would not have been able to tolerate any type of scary looking (albeit fun scary) stuff hanging around the house. Not so looking forward to the white stuff that blankets our State after the Fall but I do have the Disney trip to look forward to in December so that will help. Speaking of Disney-I may be just a tad bit too excited for this trip. I have already loaded the camper for our December trip! I know it is early, but I just couldn't resist. We just need to add our toiletries and food and we can be on our way. In my defense-if you have ever tried to clean and load a camper in the middle of winter here in the Mitten State you would totally understand why I decided to undertake that project right now.
McGyver and Chester are OOT bear hunting until Sunday. Dreamsicle and I jumped into our jammies yesterday when we got home from work/daycare and lounged around all night long watching cartoons and eating junk food. It was extremely relaxing and so nice just to snuggle with my big girl. She has her pre-school open house tonight which she is totally stoked for. She starts school next Monday. Leave it to me to have scheduled an uber important loaded with future possibilities meeting for the morning of the first day of her preschool-she goes in the afternoon so I am hoping I can race back in time to take her. Those of you that know McGyver know that he is super cool but could not possibly tackle a pony tail to save his life. Well, he would tackle it, but I am not so sure what the result would look like. Dreamsicle's hair is still baby fine so if you don't use product you can't do anything with it.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for the Monday uber important loaded with possibilities in the future meeting if you would please-I am more than ready to take our business to the next level!

How Old Am I?

Ever since I hit my forties, I cannot seem to remember how old I am. I always seem to think I am a year older than I really am-this causes my younger than me by two years sister much stress as she is constantly having to figure out if she is really as old as I am saying or not. Today is my birthday and she posted a comment on my facebook wall wishing me a Happy Birthday and asking that very question..now how old are you?

August Happenings

Today is McGyver's birthday. I love that man more today than I did the day we got married. He is so cool. We will be celebrating with "choc-it" cake cuz daddy loves "choc-it"and ice cream sundaes. Dreamsicle is set on the sundaes-must have the sour cream (whipped cream but she always calls it sour cream-He!) and the bananas to put on the ice cream.

Chester is home and I have already put him to work in the office. It feels so good to see his mug every day.

Dreamsicle had her four year check up yesterday. She ended up needing four immunizations. Thankfully she did not run a fever. She did however swear that she would never be able to walk again (my yegs mama-they made my yegs not work no more!). She did manage to make it out of her bedroom this morning, draggin one leg behind to give me a kiss goodbye so we will see if I need to buy her a wheelchair this afternoon LOL-such drama from the little sweetie. I didn't have the heart to tell her that she would be having to re-visit the ped's office in a few months for a flu shot-we will just let that one rest for now...

Take The Long Way Home

I received a call this morning letting me know that Chester was headed to the airport for the very last time. On his way to begin winging his way home. I was positively giddy when I got off the phone with him. He called a little later to tell me that instead of arriving at 10:30 his flight would be arriving at 11:00. No biggie-I can keep my peepers open for 30 minutes longer than expected in order to see my son arrive home. Weeeeelll, that was not to be. Turns out his flight that was delayed in Palm Springs was going to arrive in Dallas with only a 5 minute window for Chester to make his connecting flight. So they kindly rebooked him in Palm Springs before his flight took off. Rebooked his connecting flight. The one from Dallas to the Mitten State. The one that would have had him arriving tonight. The one that will now force him to spend the entire night in the airport in Dallas and not arrive in the Mitten State until tomorrow afternoon. *Sob* I know it is only a 12 hour difference but after waiting four years for this very day, 12 hours seems like an eternity.

Back To The Land Of The Living

I finally broke down yesterday and hauled my snotty self to the doctor. My doctor opened the door to the exam room and said OMG-you have a brutal sinus infection. I thought she could read my mind but turns out the fact that my face is swollen to twice the size it normally is clued her in. So I'm on antibiotics twice a day. This evening I actually feel like I just might live. Strange-being as sick as I was. I don't do sick. I usually power through whatever ails me but this seriously kicked my behind. Dreamsicle and I ventured out this afternoon to the local farmers market. We loaded up on fresh fruit and have spent the evening cleaning and consuming it.

In exactly 4 sleeps Chester will board a plane from California bound for the Mitten State. For. The. Last. Time. Evah. Dreamsicle is so excited she can hardly contain herself. She keeps practicing her "rock star hands" and singing twinkle twinkle little s*tar in her best rock star low voice in preparation for his arrival. He taught her that when he was home for Grumpy Old Man's funeral and she has not forgotten it.

Since we were gone for Dreamsicle's birthday, we are going to celebrate it on our Metcha day instead. I am so excited that Chester gets to be a part of it. It will truly make the day even that much more special.

I'm So Dizzy-My Head Is Spinning

Betcha thought this post was going to find me breaking out in song, didn't you? Nope. But the title describes how I feel right now perfectly. Add feverish and firey lungs to the mix and that is me. Yuck. Big headache on top of everything else too. I know I need to rest and sleep but people, I have been out of the office so much lately that it is not in the cards for me to stay at home and nappy-nap all day. I will admit, it was hard for me not to jump back under my covers this morning, I swear I heard my bed actually calling my name "come back Mrs McGyver, it is all warm and comfy and your pillow still has the dent in it from your head". Did you hear that? No? Must be the dizzy, head spinny thing I've got going on then.

Being sick in my house is never easy. Dreamsicle is hyper sensitive anyway and when her mama doesn't feel good-she comes unglued. Saying goodbye to her this morning was awful. She was begging me to just hold her and "schnuggle" so that she could make me feel better. My little sweetie-if hugs could cure me, I'd be dancing right now.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

When I made our travel arrangements to come down here, I had booked our stay to return home last Tuesday. As you all know by now, Pixie's surgery got pushed back which forced me to need to change our return flight. Dreamsicle and I had traveled down here on United. I purchased the travel insurance (something that I never do) because when I read the types of situations the travel insurance covered it specifically stated that it would protect you from having to pay an extra fee should your plans change due to an unexpected serious illness of a family member. Feeling like I was armed with a serious illness of a family member (malignant melanoma certainly wouldn't fall into the category of an appendectomy for goodness sakes) I called United to change our return flight. They first told me that I would be hit with a $150.00 per person change fee. I was actually okay with that-then the agent proceeded to tell me that I would be responsible for the difference in the price of the flight. Guess how much the difference in the flight was...just guess..$1300.00! Yep they tried to tell me that it would cost an additional $1500.00 to get Dreamsicle and I home if we wanted to change our flight. I spoke with the most unhelpful supervisor I have ever dealt with in my life after the agent told me that. Both stuck to their written script-you have to pay that money up front then request a refund from United. Travel insurance, pavel insurance-it did not matter. At this point I was seriously hyperventilating. Keep in mind that I paid out the nose to get here since I purchased our tickets on the same day that we traveled. I could not get myself to give the go ahead for them to charge me an additional $1500.00 Since I had rented a car I called McGyver to see if he would be down with me taking a leisurely drive back to the Mitten State with Dreamsicle because it would be considerably cheaper. He wasn't having any of that and told me to pay what I had to pay to make sure we were here for Pixie's surgery. I got on line and just for kicks and giggles got on the United website, typed in the date I wanted to travel home and low and behold-I could purchase two one way tickets for $422.00 each. Ummmmm, yeah. Considerably less than the $1500.00 they wanted to charge me for the change fee, no? I decided right then and there that I would not be giving United Airlines any more of my money and purchased two one way tickets home from Northwest for a slightly lower price than the $422.00. I can tell you this, I will never fly United again if I have any other alternative.

Pixie Update

We returned home from the hospital a few hours ago. Pixie came through the surgery well. They feel that they were able to remove all of the cancerous cells, they went deeper and wider than they originally planned just to make certain that they didn't leave anything dangerous behind. We now wait for the pathology report to come back on Friday but we are confident that it is going to come back clear.

Thank you for all of your prayers, we know she was covered with them today.

Pay It Forward

I have been thinking alot lately about the generosity of friends and strangers. We have seen some pretty dark days in our family over the course of the last two months and yet there have been bright spots that appear out of nowhere. Friends who stop by unannounced to pick up Dreamsicle and let her play with other kids, friends who answer their phone, drop their plans and make sure that Dreamsicle has days filled with fun. Strangers who make the commitment to keep our family in their prayers, send cards and well wishes.

All of this has me wanting to issue a challenge to all of you. You all know about paying it forward, but how many of you ever really do it? My challenge is that tomorrow anyone reading this blog do something nice for someone else. Whether it is holding a door for someone, buying the next person in line's coffee, dropping a meal off to someone facing unemployment or poor health or stopping and seeing someone you know could use the company-let's all be good neighbors tomorrow and do something to brighten someone else's day.

Today

I am sitting in the living room of Pixie and U*Haul's house, just chillin' with Pixie and the kids today. I am so blessed to have such an "easy" relationship with my daughter in love. She really is so much more than that title allows. She is my daughter. I love her as much as I love my four children. Truly, deeply, and forever. I have kept the fam running since we have been down here but really feel like she needed to have some "down" time yesterday and today to help her body to rest for tomorrow's surgery. We will go somewhere for dinner tonight so that she can have some of her beloved steak, then call it an early night in preparation for tomorrow. I changed our flight home so that we can be here until Saturday. I am so glad I did. Not knowing what the next few days has in store for her, I want to be here to help care for the Lil Pea if necessary. Please keep her in your prayers tomorrow. That is exactly where she needs to be.