Decision

We have decided not to pursue a 2nd adoption. Although it would be wonderful for Dreamsicle to have a sibling closer to her age, the reality is that that isn't the right reason to add another person to this family. Dreamsicle sort of lives this charmed life right now where she is constantly surrounded by love. Even the few hours each week she spends in daycare are filled with harmony since the other 3 toddlers seem to be pretty mellow and she never comes home with bruises, cuts or bites.

We had our 6 month post placement homestudy done last Friday and the social worker brought her daughter who was adopted at the same time as Dreamsicle. Her daughter cold-cocked Dreamsicle with a block at one point and then pushed Dreamsicle off of my lap at another point. Seeing this behavior, which is typical toddler, really brought it home that Dreamsicle is such a happy little girl-who definately has the most loving and kind spirit of any child I have ever met-deserves to keep her "love circle" for as long as she can.

Rewind...

McGyver and I attended a charity event this past weekend. There was an auction scheduled for the evening but during the day the hall was open so that people could walk around and look at the items up for bid. We had Dreamsicle with us and she was walking in between the two of us. We had stopped to look at something and out of nowhere an Asian woman ran up to us demanding to know what country Dreamsicle was from. I asked her where she was from and she told me Korea so I told her Dreamsicle was from China. She immediately threw her arms around me and told me that I was so lucky-everybody knows that the Chinese are the. smartest. people. out. there.

Huh?

She Makes Us Laugh

This kidlet makes us laugh every single day. I know I say that often, but it is the truth. I had no idea a now (18!) month old baby could have such a sense of humor. She has a picture of McGyver and I that is in a photo frame. This past weekend I asked her to show me where mama was in the picture. She got the most impish grin on her face, pointed to McGyver and said "Mama"! She immediately started laughing and then pointed to me and said "Daddy"!.She now thinks this is the funniest thing she has ever come up and calls us by each other's name. All we can do is laugh.

So if you see a family that has the daughter calling her daddy mama-you will know it is the McGyver family.

She got a ride on car for Christmas, the seat opens up and she likes to keep all of her treasures there. She realized that not only could she keep her treasures there, but she could actually stand in there as well! Now that is the only place she will stand while she watches her Wiggles videos.

The dog was sniffing her Lovey the other morning and this caused her to become extremely indignant. Keep in mind that we have a large Rottweiler-she rarely goes near him. But! Because he was sniffering her Lovey that she had left on the floor, she marched over, pulled the Lovey away from him and made a hrrmph sound. Guess she told him.

Our travel group is in the process of making plans to get together in early 2008 at Disney. I cannot tell you how excited I am to see all of these people again! Our group really clicked and it will be a thrill to see the changes in all of the girls.

...Speaking of travel groups...I'm really starting to feel the itch to adopt again. I've broached the subject with McGyver who swears I must be smoking crack, but I'll let you all know how it all turns out. There is such a big age difference between Dreamsicle and the boys, it would be nice for her to have a sister and a companion. Time will tell.

Goosebumpy

Today is referral day. Lots of people whom I have never met are posting on various websites that they have received the referral for their daughter (or son!). I love this day of the month. When you can almost physically feel the love oozing out of the computer as people post with such excitement and joy after having waited so long. This time it is making me cry. I have no idea why but this month's posts have reduced me to a blithering idiot. I think because I am so happy for these families. The joy they feel today when they first lay eyes on their new child, is nothing compared to what lies ahead for them. It is giving me goosebumps. Congratulations to everyone!!

Dreamsicle has been sick for the past week. Runny nose, cough, fever...last night we ventured out to a restaurant for dinner, she seemed to have been on the mend. Right after she ate some of the appetizer she decided maybe it would be better if that food wasn't sitting in her stomach but rather in mama's lap. Even through all of that, I can't get over how much I love this child. She can throw up on me and I'm still smiling. I can't wait for all of these new families to experience the same thing...

Because I Need To Smile

Pictures of Dreamsicle just because. The Fisherman's brother (McGyver's uncle) passed away this weekend. 2007 has not started off on a positive note so here are some pictures of the babe just because I need to smile.
The one of Dreamsicle with the other little girl has a cute story behind it. That little girl is Dreamsicle's cousin who lives in Chicago. She was dying to meet Dreamsicle because she thought that having a cousin from China made her part Chinese.

Well Hello!

Long time no blog, eh? We have been in Texas for the past few weeks. The southern most part of Texas. You know, where people from the Mitten state go in the winter to get away from the cold temps. The only problem we encountered was that the cold followed us. It was 30-40 degrees for the majority of the time we were down there. Blech. We were not down there for a vacation though. My father in law (who hates to have his name mentioned on that "dang internet" so will now be referred to as the Fisherman) had valve replacement surgery. McGyver, Dreamsicle and I (along with Aunt Genious) traveled down there to be with him. The surgery went fine but he developed complications afterwards which caused him to teeter on the brink of never being able to fish again for quite some time. Thankfully he has recovered and is now at home. Dreamsicle handled the disruption to her life like a pro. I had purchased a pack and play and a stroller while we were down there and on our last day I packed them up. She became quite upset as she watched me. I felt horrible. I wonder how much her little mind remembers from her days in China. She was really upset, I kept holding her and reassuring her that it was okay we were going to go home but it really made me pause. I wish she had the words to verbalize her feelings at that very moment. I had made the critical mistake of leaving her lovey in the car when we left for Texas. I bought her a substitute lovey while we were down there and I thought it had served its purpose until we strapped her in her car seat once we landed and I gave her the old lovey back. For the next twenty minutes she kept kissing that crazy little blanket, squeezing her eyes shut and hugging it with all of her might. Big lesson learned for the mama-never, never leave the lovey behind.

Happy New Year!

From the McGyver family!

From Left to Right-Chester, Dreamsicle, Mr McGyver, Mrs McGyver, U*Haul and X*Boy

Time Flies

I can remember when we first submitted our dossier to China. The time between our LID and when we received our referral for Dreamsicle seemed to crawl. The pace between referral and travel picked up. Then we met her. And now I want time to stand still. She is now 17 months old. 17 months of giggly, silly, up-up-up-up goodness. I scheduled our 6 month post placement home study visit today. That is absolutely amazing to me. Next month she will have been a part of our family for 6 months. I think back to when we brought her home. She has made such tremendous strides and I am so proud of her. But oh so sad. She is becoming so independent. She walks by herself, insists on feeding herself, brushes her teeth, is beginning to entertain herself and can mimic the Wiggles entire Yummy Yummy DVD. A part of me still wants her to remain a teeny tiny little girl who insists on being carried everywhere and needs her mama and daddy to help her with everything. But the sensible part of me knows that she is progressing at warp speed and that is a good thing. A huge thing actually.

Where has the time gone?

Cuteness Abounds

Christmas Joy!

My heart is so full. I can remember last Christmas when all of our thoughts were on Dreamsicle and wondering where she was. Wondering if she was warm, and well fed. What a difference a year makes. We now know that she is warm, well fed, well loved and oh so funny. Dreamsicle received a Tickle Me Elmo doll which we can't figure out if she loves or hates. She sort of laughs/cries as he rolls around on the floor, but she will ask you to press his belly again and again. She does seem to enjoy him more if she is safely ensconced in her daddy's arms. We started the morning out in our Christmas PJ's. The festivities began at 7:30 am. Grandma and Aunt Genious came over to watch the opening of the gifts for the babe as well as having the boys, Princess and Pixie present. We may have gone a little overboard in the gift giving dept but I put about half of her gifts away and will bring them back out over the course of the next year.

We all opened gifts, ate breakfast and changed into our clothes. After about an hour of downtime it was on to Grandma's house for lunch with Grandma, the cousins and aunt. She received more gifts, ate lots of green beans (my girl is a veggie lover, that is for sure) then we left for home and nap time.

Once Dreamsicle woke up, friends of ours came over for a Christmas night bite to eat and much frivolity ensued as the little kids played with the big kids and made me laugh until I cried.

It was a great day but I now think I had better make friends with my eliptical machine fast.

Christmas pictures!

More pictures soon, I promise!

So Much To Say, So Little Time

I am sitting here with butterflies in my stomach. Chester just touched down at the airport we use that is an hour away from home. His fiance, Princess, will be bringing him home. I am giddy like a school girl. He will be home until January 1st and I honestly am considering sewing my fingers together to make a continuous loop of my body. That way I could throw my arms around him and he could just drag me around wherever he goes over the course of the next week. I can't get enough of that kid when he is home. OH! And he finally gets to meet Dreamsicle for the first time. Cannot wait.

Gramma's in 'da house! I picked my mom up at the airport (she has been enjoying herself in Texas this winter but came home for Christmas) two days ago. When we entered the house, she yelled Dreamsicle's name. Dreamsicle RAN into her arms and it has been a mutual love fest ever since. She loves herself some Grammy, that is for sure. The three of us spent the day shopping and she would just fall into little giggle fits whenever she made eye contact with her Grandma.

What was supposed to be a "smallish" Christmas-intended because Dreamsicle is still so tiny and the boys are now men (ha! I just called my boys men! or would that be boys to men??) I was going to take it easy on the pocketbook this time. But the tree is big and looked sorely forlorn without many pretty, pretty packages underneath it so that problem has now been rectified. Bring the day on!

Much cooking will be done tomorrow and much feasting the next day. Pictures early next week, I promise!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Ho-Ho-Holy Cow I Am Tired

Wow, this rushing around trying to get everything done is really taking a toll on me this year. Could be the 17 pound piece of velcro that I am currently wearing. Dreamsicle has decided that she must be attached to me physically whenever we go shopping. I love, love, love the fact that she wants to be close and quite frankly, I would be lost without the baby carrier I purchased before we left for China. BUT! Trying to carry packages through the mall with a baby strapped to my chest has really been quite good for my cardiovascular system. I'm huffing and puffing as much as Santa. I keep telling myself that by the time the holidays are done, I could lose another 5 pounds if I keep this pace up. Hmmmm.

Speaking of Dreamsicle-she continues to amaze us. She has added the words, UP, HOT, Woof-woof, I-oww-u (I love you) to her ever expanding list of words. She is really into "sneaking" around the couch to "scare" us. The only problem is, she cracks herself up so much that we know where she is even before her body appears at the edge of the couch. She makes us laugh until our eyes water almost every day. She loves books. I mean, LOVES books. Every day we read no less than 10 books (maybe the same book over and over 10 times, depending on her mood) but she loves to be read to.

I am so happy this year. This baby is incredible.

I feel so terrible for those still in the wait. I see this little girl, and my heart literally hurts that my friends don't have their daughters yet. This holiday season is going to be extremely hard on a few people that I have gotten to know. Please know that my thoughts are with you.

To my friend Holly-hang tight my friend. This will be your last Christmas without your sweet baby and I cannot wait to celebrate with you next year!

Dreamsicle and Chester

California!

I arrived safely yesterday in sunny California. My flight left the mitten state an hour and a half late and ended up being one of only two planes able to make it out before the airport was shut down due to weather. When I caught my connecting flight in Minneapolis I was upgraded to first class. Sweet! Sure made the 4 hour plane ride much more comfortable. Chester and I met up last night, stayed in a cheesy motel and headed to Disneyland first thing this morning. I did not make hotel reservations ahead of time because I wasn't sure if we would end up at Disney for sure. After spending the morning in the park, I told McGyver that we should check room availability just for kicks and giggles. We walked into the Disneyland Resort, was quoted the standard room rate, I agreed to the rate then turned to Chester and told him happy birthday. The desk clerk then began a conversation with us and found out that not only was it Chester's birthday but that he was stationed out here in the military. She excused herself for a few minutes, came back and handed us the keys to a gorgeous suite! She had upgraded us and while she was giving us the keys she thanked Chester for his service and wished him a happy birthday. Go Disney! We have spent the entire day and evening hopping between both parks and shopping at Downtown Disney. It was a great day and I'm so glad I got to spend the day of my son's birth with him. We leave tomorrow. I'll take him back to base and make my way back to San Diego for my conference. He's coming home for Christmas though so saying goodbye won't be as hard as it could be.

Happy 3 Month Anniversary!

Today marks our 3 month anniversary as a family. This is one of my favorite photos from NanChang. This picture was taken a day or two after we became a family at a local park.

My sister asked me to try to describe this journey and I simply can't seem to find the words. How do you explain a joy and love that threatens to consume your entire being? My entire adult life I have felt as if something was missing. I contributed it to the death of Matthew. Although that piece of my heart will always ache I have finally realized that his death wasn't the missing link. After all, I gave birth to him. I loved him for 3 1/2 months before I had to let him go.

The missing piece of our family was her. Our girl. Our daughter. I look at the way the boys love her, how McGyver adores her, how she has "fit" into our family so seamlessly and realize that this was the missing piece. I was meant to be the mom of four boys and one girl.

Stuff

I have a whole bunch of stuff I want to update everyone on so I'm going to throw it all into one post. First-I leave Friday for a week. Dreamsicle will be with McGyver for 7 days. My heart is breaking for making the decision to leave her that long. I have a conference that I will be attending that is going to be quite intense. It also involves taking a certification exam at the end. Because of the amount of studying I will have to do it just doesn't make sense to bring her with me. So-the conference is Monday through Friday.

I made the decision to fly out 2 days earlier. This Saturday is Chester's birthday, I haven't seen my Marine for a very long time so I'm going to rent a car and drive to him for the weekend. http://www.lbeh.org/ If you are looking for a place to donate miles or some of your hard earned money, please consider this organization. It is called Let's Bring 'Em Home. The sole reason this organization exists is to raise money to allow junior enlisted service men/women to be able to get home for the holidays by purchasing plane tickets for them. Often times our military receive their travel approval on such short notice that the cost of ticket actually hinders them from being able to make it home. My heart is touched by this organization.

Speaking of birthdays-Happy Birthday to my U*Haul! He just celebrated his 19th birthday on the 26th. I am so proud of both of these guys. They have tender hearts (in a manly sort of way, of course) and have become two terrific men whom I am proud to be able to call my sons.

Dreamsicle visited the pediatrician again yesterday. She received four more shots and kept calling out for her Daddy the whole time she was getting them. I will be so happy when the day finally gets here that she can visit the doc and not get poked. But the good news is that she has gained 3/4 pound and grown 3/4 inch in a month! So she now weighs 17 pounds and will be 16 months on Saturday. The ped is very pleased with her progress and thinks she is on target developmentally.

Pictures of our day yesterday

What To Do, What To Do

We currently reside in a large house, built lovingly by hand by McGyver. I love my house. I love the fact that every nail, every piece of wood, every thing was touched by him. He poured his heart and soul into creating an environment that is warm and inviting and large enough to raise 3 boys. But. Now the boys are gone. And I am scared. Really.

McGyver loves to hunt. He takes hunting trips that are often times a week or more in duration. This means that Dreamsicle and I are left in the big beautiful house by ourselves. With the Rottwieler. And I am terrified at night. Our house is located in the woods, away from neighbors. By day I can't imagine leaving this. But nightfall hits and I turn into a big chicken.

We have begun looking for houses in neighborhoods. Something smaller would be nice. Neighbors would be great.

But.

I'm so conflicted. I really, really don't feel right about asking McGyver to give all of this up just because I can't get over this childish fear of mine. I reason with myself-who, in their right mind is going to try to break down my door to be met by our Rottwieler for peats sake? Any advice on how to get over this fear would be appreciated.

Things I'm Thankful For

The week of Thanksgiving is upon us and as always, it offers a great opportunity to reflect on the year past. I have so much to be grateful for that I thought I would list my highlights.

1. Bringing Dreamsicle into our family. Although the wait was long and hard, now that we have her home I am very thankful for this little girl.

2. That Chester has been able to remain in the USA for the entire year of 2006. We have been able to see him a number of times and he will be home for Christmas.

3. That U*Haul got to fulfill his dream of playing college football. Way back in 3rd grade when he played rocket football he was announcing his intention to play college ball. I'm glad he was able to make his dream come true.

4. That X*Boy is the man that he is. McGyver couldn't do all that he does without the constant help of our eldest son working with him every day. It has been such a joy to watch my husband and my son knit such a special "man to man" relationship this past year.

5. That McGyver loves me with his whole heart and soul. It is incredible to be able to travel life's journey with such an amazing man.

6. That after losing my father a few years ago, and McGyver's father losing his wife a few years ago~both of our parents have found companionship and seem happy. It's been a long road for both of them.

7. I'm thankful for my job. I get to work doing something I truly enjoy and get to work with some wonderful people at the same time.

So, what are you thankful for?