Good vs. Bad

U*Haul's football team winning their first play off game=GOOD

Mrs. McGyver using her foot to flush the public toilet while wearing clogs=BAD

Living in the Midwest in the Fall with all of the beautiful leaves=Good

Blisters on hands from raking beautiful leaves=BAD

Making lasagna for the family for Sunday Dinner=GOOD

Having oven go out half way into the baking process=BAD

Waking up every morning with a back ache from ratty old mattress=BAD

McGyver wanting to cheer up the MRS by buying a new bed=GOOD

Caution: Thick Fog Ahead

Have you ever driven down an unfamiliar road at night when the fog is so thick that you can only see a few inches ahead of your car? The kind of fog that forces you to keep your lights on dim and to travel at a slower than normal rate of speed. The unfamiliarity of the road causes you to grip the steering wheel tighter than normal, to hope that you really are staying on the road and not veering off into a field, a ditch... the other lane. When traveling on this type of night you are forced to concentrate only on your driving, all other thoughts must be pushed away. You look at your clock and can't believe that only minutes have passed since you last checked the time when it feels like you have been traveling for hours due to the stress of the situation.
That's where I am at right now with this adoption. The CCAA has been pretty consistent in issuing referrals 6-7 months after your Log In Date (LID). Until now. We just got an email update from our adoption agency telling us that they are revising the timeline. They are lengthening the estimated time between LID and referral. No one knows for sure why the sudden slow down has occurred, at least no one is sharing the information if they do know. We were expecting our referral in December, January at the latest. It now looks like it will be February, possibly March. The time from referral to travel has lengthened as well. To say that I am devastated right now would be the understatement of the century.
I feel like I really am driving down a road completely blanketed in fog. I can't see forward, the fog is too thick. My lights are on dim and still our movement forward is minimal. What lies ahead is unknown because I can't see through the fog.
Please don't email me and remind me that this will happen when it is supposed to happen, that others have had to wait longer (when China first opened to international adoption, during the SARS stage, etc.) All of those slow downs had reasons behind them. This one doesn't. Our agency is only going to receive referrals for those people with Log In Dates through March. We now have to wait for everyone with LID's in April, May and the first half of June to receive their referrals before it is our turn. I never would have imagined that we very well could be waiting until next Spring to meet Dreamsicle. My heart is aching.

Happy Anniversary McGyver

Today is my anniversary. McGyver and I have been married for 21 years. As I have said in the past, he truly is my best friend. I thought it would be a good time to recount how we came to be Mr & Mrs McGyver because it always makes me smile when I think about how we started...

McGyver and I have known each other our entire lives. We were in the same kindergarten class, lived just a few miles apart and became extremely close as we grew up. My dad considered him to be his second son long before we even thought of getting together as a couple. I would set McGyver up on dates with my friends through out high school and he was the one that I always ran to when some smelly boy broke my heart.

After I graduated I left our small town for the big city and college. Soon after arriving at college I realized that the one person I missed more than (gasp) my boyfriend at the time was my best friend McGyver! I would call him in the middle of the night and cry about the unfairness of not being able to talk to him like I used to. I missed him. His emotional stability, his physical presence, everything. He came to see me at college one weekend and when I saw him standing there at my door, I began crying and realized that I loved him. I mean really, really loved him. As I poured my heart out to him about my feelings he gathered me up in his arms and said it was about time that I came to my senses, he had been waiting his whole life for me to realize it.

He then went away to the Marine Corps and after having been in the Corps for almost a year we couldn't stand being so far away from each other and decided to get married.

We got married 21 years ago today. My heart still skips a beat when he walks into the room, he still provides me with his emotional stability and his unending love and I am so blessed to have this man in my life. I love you McGyver. Thanks for the memories.

Brag Time

Quick Post-Just want to let all of the fam know what's happening...

I need to introduce two more people into our cast of characters-

U*Haul's girlfriend will be known as Pixie (she's just the cutest, teeniest, tiniest little thing you would ever want to see). U*Haul and Pixie have dated since their freshman year. It has been such a privilege to watch these two grow together. Since Pixie has been such a part of our lives for so long we celebrate her victories and mourn her losses just as we would one of our boys. So-Pixie is a cheerleader (of course) and her squad took first place at their cheer competition on Saturday-way to go Pixie!

But wait there's more-U*Haul got word last night that he was named to the All Conference Team for football!!!

Chester's girlfriend will be known as Princess-(she has the keychain to prove it) and is just an adorable, sweet, thing. Princess and Chester were best friends during high school, it wasn't until they both graduated that they realized their was something stronger than friendship in their relationship (sounds alot like McGyver and me but I'll post about that tomorrow)

Princess got a letter from Chester that said that his platoon is currently the Honor Platoon!! This is a big deal in recruit life-it means that your platoon is the best and it is something that they will have to fight to keep for the rest of boot camp. Way to go Chester!

I came into work today and there was an Asian Cabbage Patch Baby waiting for me from some of the people that I work with. Sweet little things, I really am blessed.

Misc. Ramblings

I just returned from San Diego, had a great time but so many funny things happened on this trip that I just had to share...
On my first night in San Diego I was walking down the street when someone literally came running up to me, threw her arms around me, squealing"Mary, OMG, I haven't seen you in forever-why didn't you tell me you were coming to this conference?" after disentangling myself from her grasp-I looked her in the eye and a look of sheer horror washed over her face as she realized that I wasn't Mary.
I was window shopping and had a bird poop in my hair-okay so that part was gross- but when I realized that I was running down the street trying to get back to my hotel as quickly as possible while muttering to myself about how gross this was I was bent over and running sideways I cracked myself up.
I broke the heel off of one of my shoes walking to the conference while crossing a train track and had to limp back to the hotel
The woman and man seated in front of me on the plane had their headphones turned up so loud that they had no idea they were speaking to each other loud enough for the entire plane to hear them, and oh what a conversation it was! Apparently they had not seen each other for a while, let's just leave it at that

The conversation I got into at lunch one day with some other conference attendees about the craziest things that had happened to them while at work-let me just share a few...

One woman had an employee bring in the entire tank of her toilet to show off how she had country painted it
Another one rounded the corner of a row of cubicles after she heard dogs barking-her employee had set up a child's play fence and had 3 puppies in the middle-she just couldn't leave them at home by themselves.
Yet another opened up the coat closet to go home, only to find one of her employees slumbering peacefully on a bed of coats

Fun, fun, fun time

Tidbits

I have done much whining on this blog, and I am sure much more will occur in the future, but today I'm blogging about good stuff.

Chester called Thursday night! Totally unexpected but so, so heartwarming. He sounds good (when he was little he used to have a raspy voice which would melt my heart, he sounds like that right now only deeper voiced) He is handling boot camp very well, said it is not as hard as he had expected. He will be up at Camp Pendleton for the next four weeks so we will not hear from him very often but that one phone call will take me through two weeks I am sure! I am heading out to San Diego tomorrow for a week so I am glad he is further up the coast now so any stalking tendencies that I had in the past are far gone from my mind (in a previous post I had made the decision to attend the conference in Florida instead of California but it was sold out so it is off to San Diego).

When I picked up the mail on Friday we had a letter from waiting for us as well! So one phone call and one letter in the same week makes for a very happy mama!

Friday night U*Haul had a football game. Not just any football game but the game that would decide whether or not his varsity team would make the play offs. THEY WON! So for the first time since 1997 our football team will be in the play offs for high school football. He had a fantastic game, I could watch that kid play ball all day long. It was bittersweet to watch though. Last night's game was the last home game for the graduating seniors and watching those boys take their final walk across their home football field was pretty emotional.

Good things all around.

Update on Chester

As many of you know, I have been feeling pretty blue about the lack of communication we have had with Chester. We received another letter yesterday which brought the total number of letters we have received from him since 9-11-05 to three. It has been hard knowing that the other moms who I have been in contact with who have sons in the same company as Chester have received 8-10 letters. Well, the mystery has been solved. Mr. Social Director of the Year has been unable to write to his momma because he is writing to all of his friends! I am actually okay with this. They have begun to let me know that they are hearing from him and he sounds great. If he is comfortable enough to write letters to his peeps and doesn't need to cry to his momma then I should probably stop worrying about his emotional health and relax. Letting go is tough stuff but I'm learning.

Referral Time Again

Every month I anxiously wait for the referral information to begin pouring in on the adoption sites. I do this for two reasons:
1. Because I must do my part to keep Kleenex in business. Every time I read about people receiving their referrals I cry. People post the most incredibly sweet announcements about their babies and sometimes include pictures. This gives me goose bumps every single month and makes me burst into tears. It really helps keep me moving forward knowing that each month brings us a step closer to Dreamsicle.
2. To torture myself. No really. I mean it. It looks like this latest batch of referrals only goes through the middle of March. We are getting very close to referral since we have a LID of June 20th. BUT-this latest batch of referrals has me more than a little worried. If you calculate what the referrals will look like for November then December based on what happened this month we will not receive our referral until January. I know that this will happen when it is supposed to happen. I know that if there is a delay there is a reason but right now I'm just sad. Blech. Makes me want to cry. But not for the same reason as reason #1.

In other news....
I went to DC on business last week for four days then added a four day trip to New York City for pleasure onto the back of it. I met up with my friend from Savannah Georgia and we had a fantabulous time! She visits NYC often so she was the perfect tour guide. We saw the musical Wicked which I loved. We shopped and ate and walked all over the city, just had a blast. I bought many pair of cute shoes but I do have to say that I am most impressed with you New York women. How ya'll can run around all day long in high heels and still have feet left is beyond me. Don't get me wrong-everyone looks fantastic but I tried to be cool for one evening by wearing my brand new pair of high heel shoes to dinner. By the time we were walking back to the hotel I was begging for a taxi! You guys rock. This midwest girl had to go back to her flats and will gently break all of her shoes in over time.

Yeah!

I am out of town on business for the week, received a call from U*Haul wanting to know if he could OPEN THE LETTER from CHESTER that came in the mail yesterday and read it to me. That's right-the LETTER FROM CHESTER finally came!! He hasn't lost his sense of humor and sounded like things were going as well as could be expected at this point.

My heart can start beating at a normal pace now, my son is doing just fine.

McGyver To The Rescue

Yesterday I had myself convinced that we would get the infamous first letter from Chester. In all of the material that the Marine Corps gave us and on all of the message boards I am now part of the prevailing thought is that the recruits will send the first letter out on the second Sunday of their boot camp and to plan on getting that letter and all letters after that on the Thursday of that week. Are you following me?
I drove like a crazy woman all of the way home. Small children and puppies were quaking in fear as I raced past them in my eagerness to get to my mailbox. I opened my mailbox expecting sunshine and music to come out of it as I pawed through all things non important in my quest for THE LETTER. The only things in there were bills and about 67 gazillion college information packets for U*Haul. No letter, no postcard, nada, zero, zilch from Chester.

I lost it driving up the driveway, stepped out of my car and into McGyver's big old arms crying the entire time. I told him that we still did not have a letter from Chester, he calmly tells me to "get the recruiter's number". I go into the house rummage through Chester's room to find the business card with the number, bring it and the phone back outside to McGyver who quickly gets the recruiter on the phone and the conversation goes something like this...
McGyver-Wife did not receive letter from Chester today as anticipated, would like his address
Recruiter-it typically takes a week to get there Mr McGyver.
McGyver-it is closing in on two weeks and I know you are not trying to tell me that the United States Marine Corps has lost my son are you?
Recruiter-No sir we know right where he is
McGyver-Good, then I expect Mrs. McGyver will know right where to mail the stack of 10 letters that is piling up on my bar in a matter of hours correct?
Recruiter-I will see what I can do
McGyver-I would appreciate that-Mrs. McGyver takes her letter writing seriously and I know other recruits were successful in reaching their families last Wednesday and those families have begun to send letters to their recruits already, we can't have Mrs. McGyver feel like she is not doing her job in supporting Chester now can we?

Two Hours Later-the telephone rings and I have Chester's address.

*Sigh* I love my McGyver

Cast of Characters

I've been thinking for a while of changing the way I refer to everyone in my family. Going by the first letter of their name is pretty boring. Soooo I am going to change all of that now. I need to get out of my funk of missing W so here goes-let's have some fun.

L will be forever known as McGyver (refer to previous threads if you don't know why)

J our oldest son will be called X-boy (for his love of all things computer game related)

W our middle son will go by the name of Chester (the Marine Corps bulldog is known as Chesty but I don't get a visual image of a bulldog whenever I write that so I'm changing it to a more masculine Chester)

D our youngest son will be referred to as U*Haul (D is very active in sports and tends to run on the slow side-over the years he has had more than one coach tell him that he runs like he is pulling a trailer)

Koli will be lovingly called Dreamsicle (one of my best friends always refers to her that way and it has started to stick).

Anyway-still no word from Chester but I think we will get a post card this Thursday and will be able to send the entire stack of letters that is piling up on Friday.

Today is the half way mark of waiting for our referral for Dreamsicle!

X*Boy has a house of his own but has decided to stay with us for a few weeks. I am so happy about this. I miss him even though he only lives 3 miles away from us and it has been so nice reconnecting with him.

U*Haul has been having an excellent football season so far and it has been a pleasure to watch him.

Due to some recent events here in blogland it has got me thinking about the nature of my blog. This blog definately started out as a vehicle to keep our family and friends updated on the adoption process but somewhere along the line it became more of a way for me to communicate with everyone about our entire family, not just the adoption process. Let's face it-there isn't a whole lot to write about during this 6 month waiting period of the adoption. This blog would have dried up and blown away by the time I would have had anything to report on the adoption front. So this is still a vehicle for our family and friends to stay connected, it has just morphed into something larger. Luckily my little blog is still primarily visited by people I know so I haven't had to deal with negative comments from people I don't know, but if you are just stopping by for a visit-welcome! Stop by anytime, just be nice.

Anxious

I'm normally a pretty level headed person but today I am filled with anxiety. When you first get to boot camp you are usually allowed one phone call to let your family know that you arrived safely and to give your loved ones your address where they can begin to send letters. We missed that call, it came during the middle of the day and both L and I were working. They have to call collect so W was not able to leave the information on the answering machine. We are holding out hope that maybe his Drill Instructor will show some compassion and allow those that were unable to reach someone to try again today since it is Sunday but know that the possibility of this happening is very slim. If we do not receive a call today we should receive a post card sometime next week or the week after which will have his address on it.

Most of the time I like to be as informed as possible about anything relating to my family but this is one time that I wish L would not have told me the truth. Having been in the Marine Corps he can tell me the types of things that W is experiencing which normally I would consider a blessing but not about this. I made the mistake of asking L about how W not being able to contact us would make him feel-L was very honest as normal and said one word "devastated". Devastated is filling me with anxiety. When I play this out I can see what he means-those that were able to give their families their address will receive mail two weeks before those that were unable to connect. Ugghhh. Right now at the beginning of this 13 week journey for W is when he needs our support the most and we are unable to give it to him. It. Breaks. My. Heart. I know that he is a man and in the grand scheme of things this is a small set back but right now it feels pretty large.

On a good note-Tuesday will mark the half way point of the "big wait" for our referral and today I was able to purchase Sonia Lee for half price.

Achey Breaky Heart

Today I am a jumble of emotions. We had to take W to the hotel where he would spend the night before winging his way across the country to start boot camp this weekend.

I am not sure how to describe how I feel. L and I were dating when he left for boot camp and I (foolishly) expected to feel many of the same emotions that I felt saying goodbye to L all those years ago as I said goodbye to my son. Boy was I wrong. I certainly felt a tug on the ole' heart strings when L left but this weekend I felt like the ole' heart strings had been pulled together and tied into a knot, which left me little room to breathe inside my chest. This kid has such a strong spirit that you can literally feel him enter a room before you see him. People want to be around him. He is funny, kind, and as I have said before on this blog-unwavering in his decision of his career path. But I am sad. Coming home after leaving him I spent some time in his room-breathing in his scent from his pillow, trying to feel him. I know that we have done a good job in raising him. I know that he is following his dream and tried desperately not to lose my composure in front of him. Because even in the midst of my sadness, my motherly selfishness at not having my son sleeping in his bed tonight, I am proud.

Proud of the choices that he has made in his life up to this point. Proud of his love for his family and his country. And I feel heart swelling pride to soon be able to call my son a United States Marine.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my birthday! It was a terrific day. I was surprised with cake (with candles)and ice cream, gifts from my staff at work, had a long lunch with one of the other adoptive mom's who will most likely be traveling with us to China, and had a nice dinner out with L. As a birthday present to myself I finally registered at Babies R Us for the things we need for Koli. It has been a terrific day and I am so blessed to have the family that I have.

Redneck Camping

This weekend was spent at home. L wanted to start readying the truck camper for his and our oldest son J's upcoming hunting trip. As I looked at the truck camper, it got me thinking of the last trip that involved me actually inside that camper. A few years ago L decided that rather than pull our 5th wheel down to Texas to visit his father for a vacation, we would simply take his truck camper to allow for more people to be able to help drive. Not only did the 5 of us make the trip (me and L and our 3 sons) but L's sister came along as well. We have a single cab truck so at any given time there were 4 people in the truck camper.

We were heading down to spend Christmas with my father in law and happened to pick the evening of my company Christmas party to leave. We came up with the plan that L and I would attend my party and his sister S would meet us outside of the entertainment complex at a pre determined time with the truck and camper and we would leave from there. My Christmas party is always held at a very swanky venue which causes us to have to dress up for the event. As the time drew near for us to leave, many of the people that work with me started looking out the windows, watching for the Clampett mobile to pull up and for us to make our exit. L's sister called us on our cell phone to tell us that she was getting close, we made our get away just as she was pulling into a no parking spot. We both quickly jumped into the truck, sister in law jumped in the back with the boys (in the camper)and took off. Because of how I was dressed I was forced to change out of my Holiday outfit into my sweats in the cab of the truck. This led to a few truckers having a show they didn't bargain for as I wrestled out of a cocktail dress and nylons and into my sweat suit but I decided to make myself feel better by reminding myself that I would never see them again (that is until we stopped for gas and one of the trucks pulled into the same station).

Over the course of the next 26 hours we all took turns driving or riding in the front or sleeping/watching movies in the camper. It was during my last turn to be up in the bed above the cab of the truck that trouble struck. As I was drifting off to sleep, I suddenly started hearing the distinct sound of metal pinging against metal. I asked the boys who all happened to be in the back with me if they heard the noise and they all said no. After many sessions of "shushing" to get them to really listen they all agreed that something sounded kind of strange. We had two way radios both in the cab of the truck and in the camper so I two wayed L to let him know of my growing concern for the funny "pinging" noise that I was hearing. By this time it was raining quite hard outside and he convinced me that what I was hearing was hail hitting the camper roof. I wasn't completely convinced and jokingly told the boys that if the front of the camper came off to make sure they grabbed their Momma by the foot before she rolled onto the hood of the truck. We all laughed and shortly after that arrived at my father in laws home. It was nearly midnight so we just grabbed our gear and headed into his home to sleep for the night.

In the morning we got up to go to breakfast and planned on taking our truck so that we could all ride together. When we approached the truck we quickly realized that the ping, ping, ping I had heard for the last 4 hours of our trip was actually the rivets popping out of the metal in the top of the camper!

At this point I was fairly convinced that the boys and I would be making our way home on an airplane while L and his sister would drive the truck home since there was no way we could ride back there. Well, my Mr. McGyver had a different idea. McGyver and McGyver Senior (his dad) put their heads together, shoo'ed us all away for a few hours and "fixed" the camper. We returned to find a 2x4 drilled into the bottom of the camper that rests on the truck cab, metal strips climbing up each side of the front of the camper that were riveted into the sides of the camper to hold it and another 2x4 on the top of the camper that had the ends of the metal riveted into it for support. If I ever get my pictures to upload onto this site I will post a pic for your viewing pleasure.

Imagine traveling half way across the country to get back home in this contraption. It stayed together-although I refused to allow anyone to ride up in the top bed of the camper all the way home. We received many honks, witnessed carloads of people in hysterical laughing fits as they drove by us and watched one car almost get into an accident as the driver craned his neck too far trying to watch us instead of the road.

That was my one and only time of Redneck camping, next time we want to make that trip-I think I'll fly.

I have, have you?

Shortly after my father passed away a year ago, my Mom's house burned. To. The. Ground. This house was my childhood home. The only place I had ever known to call home, the place that carried all of the memories of our family. All of that was lost one sunny summer afternoon. The feelings of despair and unrest that coursed through my body as we sorted through the rubble are surfacing again as I watch the devastation that has happened along the coast. My mom lost her home and most of her belongings, but we knew she would survive. She immediately moved in with us, we were able to provide her with shelter and food and comfort and most importantly, hope. We were able to begin making plans to rebuild her home, her life, her future within a very short time. She still had the land on which her house had stood. Her well was still good and she had her family.

There are so many people, so many families, that have lost their homes, their memories, their loved ones over the course of the last week. Uncertain futures, pleading for food and water, grieving over their losses. Imagine that feeling folks. When you are finished imagining what that must feel like, do something.

Please Give-give until it hurts. Please. I have-have you?

REDCROSS.ORG

Happy Birthday L!

Today is the day of the birth of my soulmate-L. I love this man so much it makes my heart hurt. In honor of his birthday, I thought it would be appropriate to list some of the things that I love about him.

1. He could give McGyver a run for his money. Seriously. Give this man a bobby pin and a stick of chewing gum and he can fix anything.

2. He is the most down to earth man I have ever met. Material things do not matter to him, nor do they impress him.

3. He works out regularly and has huge arms. When he wraps me up in his arms there is no where else in the world I would rather be. (one exception might be when he wraps me up in those arms and he is wearing a tank top and has just worked out and my nose is stuck in his pit but you get the idea)

4. He loves unconditionally.

5. He has a quick wit.

6. He is honest and has been a terrific role model for our sons.

7. He is happiest when he is with his family.

8. He has a huge heart for people who are hurting.

9. He sings to me while we are riding in his truck.

10. He balances me out. He's calm and level headed and the best thing that ever happened to me.

Happy Birthday Babe-I love you!

Two Down

August 20th marked month two of our (hopefully) 6 month wait until referral. Some days I think the time is flying by and other days I feel as if I am just hanging on by my finger nails. We haven't begun to purchase anything for our trip yet and have not started on her room. I have been filling the time with purchasing clothing but I really don't want to overshadow this important time in W's life by focusing on Koli rather than on him.

I had a heart to heart with W the other day and he really wants us to keep his room in tact. It is important to him so I will leave his room as is and we will move the office-making that Koli's room instead. Once W leaves for boot camp we will begin the process of transforming the office back into a bedroom and I am sure that will help pass the time and make me feel as if we are moving forward. I read alot of blogs written by my fellow adoptive moms. Some have already made the trip, some are currently traveling and others are in the big wait stage just like us. Almost all of them comment on how much they are preparing for their travels months ahead of time. I feel like I should be doing something, I just don't know what that is.

Story Problem

S gets up in the morning, late due to the power going out because of a rain storm. She quickly showers and dresses in her way too cute for words pink pants, slips on her sassy pink sandals and runs out the door. As S is running to her car over her mud soaked driveway her sassy pink sandals slide causing S to fall down. What does S do?

She has to go back into the house to change, because she is late she throws on the first thing she can get her hands on which happens to be the colors of black and gray. Kind of like her mood today. Ugh.

Redneck Yachtclub Rules

The top 10 rules I think are important for any potential yachtclub member to agree to are as follows:

1. I will agree to have a doggy life jacket on board my floating play pen before my Rottweiler decides to jump off the boat in 30 feet of water just in case he figures out that he can't swim.
2. I will agree to always remember to bring the tongs home that were utilized to flip food on the on-board grill to wash-just in case visitors to the floating play pen think "a little dirt never hurt nothin'".
3. I will agree to hunt down any other boaters who happen to have "found" a neon blue bouy with the last name of H written on it.
4. I will agree to always make sure that there is extra gas on board just in case a "short ride' turns into an all day event.
5. I will agree to be very careful before stepping foot on the floating playpen when husband is pushing water off of the canopy after a rain to ensure my not getting drenched by said water when it comes flying off of the top of the canopy and down my shirt.
6. I will agree to never, ever, ever park at the dock that the H's have rented for the summer, even if said slip happens to be empty at that moment and is located at a store and you just need to "run up and get supplies but will only take a minute" when the H's return to dock their boat.
7. I will promise to always pick up the poo left by my dog when I let him run down by the water so that no one steps in it when returning to the dock after dark and suddenly feels a squish.
8. I will agree to always empty the on-board port a potty after every trip.
9. I will agree to always have a cooler full of my very own favorite beverages located on my own boat before I tie up with the floating play pen (this rule does not apply to Koli's favorite aunt).
10. I will agree to always try to assist S in her efforts to wrestle the Jumbo Size Air Horn Can away from L whenever possible.