Happy 3 Month Anniversary!

Today marks our 3 month anniversary as a family. This is one of my favorite photos from NanChang. This picture was taken a day or two after we became a family at a local park.

My sister asked me to try to describe this journey and I simply can't seem to find the words. How do you explain a joy and love that threatens to consume your entire being? My entire adult life I have felt as if something was missing. I contributed it to the death of Matthew. Although that piece of my heart will always ache I have finally realized that his death wasn't the missing link. After all, I gave birth to him. I loved him for 3 1/2 months before I had to let him go.

The missing piece of our family was her. Our girl. Our daughter. I look at the way the boys love her, how McGyver adores her, how she has "fit" into our family so seamlessly and realize that this was the missing piece. I was meant to be the mom of four boys and one girl.

Stuff

I have a whole bunch of stuff I want to update everyone on so I'm going to throw it all into one post. First-I leave Friday for a week. Dreamsicle will be with McGyver for 7 days. My heart is breaking for making the decision to leave her that long. I have a conference that I will be attending that is going to be quite intense. It also involves taking a certification exam at the end. Because of the amount of studying I will have to do it just doesn't make sense to bring her with me. So-the conference is Monday through Friday.

I made the decision to fly out 2 days earlier. This Saturday is Chester's birthday, I haven't seen my Marine for a very long time so I'm going to rent a car and drive to him for the weekend. http://www.lbeh.org/ If you are looking for a place to donate miles or some of your hard earned money, please consider this organization. It is called Let's Bring 'Em Home. The sole reason this organization exists is to raise money to allow junior enlisted service men/women to be able to get home for the holidays by purchasing plane tickets for them. Often times our military receive their travel approval on such short notice that the cost of ticket actually hinders them from being able to make it home. My heart is touched by this organization.

Speaking of birthdays-Happy Birthday to my U*Haul! He just celebrated his 19th birthday on the 26th. I am so proud of both of these guys. They have tender hearts (in a manly sort of way, of course) and have become two terrific men whom I am proud to be able to call my sons.

Dreamsicle visited the pediatrician again yesterday. She received four more shots and kept calling out for her Daddy the whole time she was getting them. I will be so happy when the day finally gets here that she can visit the doc and not get poked. But the good news is that she has gained 3/4 pound and grown 3/4 inch in a month! So she now weighs 17 pounds and will be 16 months on Saturday. The ped is very pleased with her progress and thinks she is on target developmentally.

Pictures of our day yesterday

What To Do, What To Do

We currently reside in a large house, built lovingly by hand by McGyver. I love my house. I love the fact that every nail, every piece of wood, every thing was touched by him. He poured his heart and soul into creating an environment that is warm and inviting and large enough to raise 3 boys. But. Now the boys are gone. And I am scared. Really.

McGyver loves to hunt. He takes hunting trips that are often times a week or more in duration. This means that Dreamsicle and I are left in the big beautiful house by ourselves. With the Rottwieler. And I am terrified at night. Our house is located in the woods, away from neighbors. By day I can't imagine leaving this. But nightfall hits and I turn into a big chicken.

We have begun looking for houses in neighborhoods. Something smaller would be nice. Neighbors would be great.

But.

I'm so conflicted. I really, really don't feel right about asking McGyver to give all of this up just because I can't get over this childish fear of mine. I reason with myself-who, in their right mind is going to try to break down my door to be met by our Rottwieler for peats sake? Any advice on how to get over this fear would be appreciated.

Things I'm Thankful For

The week of Thanksgiving is upon us and as always, it offers a great opportunity to reflect on the year past. I have so much to be grateful for that I thought I would list my highlights.

1. Bringing Dreamsicle into our family. Although the wait was long and hard, now that we have her home I am very thankful for this little girl.

2. That Chester has been able to remain in the USA for the entire year of 2006. We have been able to see him a number of times and he will be home for Christmas.

3. That U*Haul got to fulfill his dream of playing college football. Way back in 3rd grade when he played rocket football he was announcing his intention to play college ball. I'm glad he was able to make his dream come true.

4. That X*Boy is the man that he is. McGyver couldn't do all that he does without the constant help of our eldest son working with him every day. It has been such a joy to watch my husband and my son knit such a special "man to man" relationship this past year.

5. That McGyver loves me with his whole heart and soul. It is incredible to be able to travel life's journey with such an amazing man.

6. That after losing my father a few years ago, and McGyver's father losing his wife a few years ago~both of our parents have found companionship and seem happy. It's been a long road for both of them.

7. I'm thankful for my job. I get to work doing something I truly enjoy and get to work with some wonderful people at the same time.

So, what are you thankful for?

That Face

My Gosh I love this girl. Our transition has been so smooth. Sometimes I think I'm tempting fate by saying that. But in reality I think we have been blessed by one awesome little girl. We are so lucky.

Two Months Home

Has it really been that long? November 8th marked our two month home anniversary. Dreamsicle has made so much progress. I haven't blogged much about the issues we faced when we first came home but I'll tell you what she has accomplished. When we first came home, she had no idea what her thumbs were for. No. Idea. She couldn't grasp anything small, feeding herself or holding a bottle or sippy cup were out of the question. She can do all 3 of these things now. She still won't crawl but will do the "inchworm crawl". Our girl is fairly timid so even though I have no doubt that she can walk unassisted she absolutely refuses to do so. She must be holding at least one of your fingers at all times when walking unless she is walking from mama to daddy. Knowing that she is walking from one set of safe arms to another allows her the security she needs to take a few independent steps.

It's funny that she is so timid when attempting to master new skills but will hold court with complete strangers, flashing her winning smile and yelling HI! (as long as she is safely in my arms).

She has finally gotten over her aversion to soft toys. She has a room full of stuffed, plushed animals which until this weekend she gave a wide berth. She got up Saturday morning, pointed for me to put her down, grabbed my finger and walked over to the pile of stuffies. She pulled out the largest stuffed frog she owns and has not let it go since.

Dreamsicle continues to delight us every day. She is still such a happy girl. Bed time has become a little rougher, she no longer goes right to sleep, there are times now when I have to go back in to her room and comfort her a few times. She is starting to feel comfortable enough with us to show us little flashes of her independence (No! I do not want peas, I must have carrots for five days in a row!).

We have been so fortunate in being matched with such an amazing little girl. I'm proud she lets me be her mama.

Hi! Hi! HI!

Dreamsicle is a social butterfly. We went grocery shopping recently and every person that walked past us was greeted with a hand wave and a boisterous-hi!.

This morning we went to a craft show. I decided to use my baby carrier rather than take the stroller since it tends to be a little cramped at a craft show. Safely ensconced in her carrier-there were no strangers left to be found by the time we left the building. Everyone was met with a smile and a HI!. It's hard to be inconspicuous when you have a 15 month old who. loves. attention.

Friday we went to the hospital to get the dreaded blood drawn for her lab work. I've been putting this off since her doctor visit because the shots she received rocked her world so much. We had to register at admitting and what should have been a 5 minute registration process turned into a 30 minute love fest for my babe and all of the hospital employees that happened to walk into the admitting office while she was there. She had people in stitches (no pun intended). Alas, the love fest turned into shriek fest '06 when they attempted to draw her blood. The first tech poked her, moved the needle around in her arm until I calmly (okay, maybe not so calmly) asked her to please remove the needle from her arm and please get someone who is trained in pediatric blood draws to make the next attempt. The next person that walked in the door was a pediatric intensivist-got what he needed in 30 seconds or less~thank you very much.

Dreamsicle is now down for her nap. Is she sleeping? Of course not! I can hear her through the baby monitor talking to the stuffed animals in her crib....Hi! Hi! HI!

Spaghetti Anyone?

Dreamsicle is really moving forward in the self feeding department. She insists on feeding herself, no matter what happens to be on the menu...

Jingle Bells

Our girl is a music maven. She LOVES music. If I put a CD in while we are driving in the car she sits in her car seat, waving her hands, moving her body to and fro.

I have video of her where Pixie would play her ringtones on her phone and Dreamsicle would dance, as soon as the ringtone would stop-she would stop dancing. It is hysterical-it looks like she is a wind up toy that moves while the music plays. If I can ever figure U-Tube out, I'll post the video.

I sing her to sleep every night. The same song-Somewhere Over The Rainbow. This is the only song that she knows she needs to be still for. There is only one small problem. I don't exactly know all of the words to the song. So I end up making up my own verses. Verses like-Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Skies are Blue~That's where we had to travel before we ever met you. Sad, huh? Anyone know the real words? Anyone?

I do take pride in the fact that at least I can make up verses to a song that is appropriate all year long. McGyver knows the words to one song and one song only-the song he sings to her in the morning while they have breakfast together. Jingle Bells.

Minnie's in 'Da House!

Dreamsicle's first Halloween. She had a great time (and kept the ears on all night long!)