A Mama's Hug

I remember when the boys were young, every scrape or social injustice could be cured by a hug from their mama. I wish that was still the case. Tough times right now in the McGyver house.

Happy Anniversary Mcgyver

25 years ago I stood in the basement of my church wearing a white dress, hoping to keep the tears that were threatening to spill out of my eyes at bay so that I would not ruin my makeup.

25 years ago I walked down the aisle of my church with my Dad at my side. As we took that slow walk up the aisle he whispered to me-you look beautiful and when we get to the front of the church a new man will become the most important man in your life.

25 years ago McGyver slipped the ittiest, bittiest little diamond ring on my hand (we affectionately named it chip) and we exchanged our vows.

25 years ago we celebrated until the wee hours of the morning. McGyver not wanting to leave the reception one minute early because we were having such a fantastic time surrounded by our family and friends.

25 years ago I married my best friend.

Lil Pea and Pixie

Are on their way back to the Mitten State today. They should arrive this afternoon via a small aircraft that will deposit them close to Pixie's mama's house. I will be picking them up from there. I am simply beside myself today with excitement. I cannot wait to hold that sweet baby again and kiss his chubby little cheeks. Dreamsicle has spent the last three days running around the house shouting-yeah! Lil Pea is coming to visit me! about a million times. U*Haul will be heading *underway* again soon so it made perfect sense to have the rest of his fam come home while he is gone.

I am getting v.v. excited about our upcoming Disney trip. Just the thought of my whole family together again gives me butterflies in my stomach. We are even bringing Aunt Genious along with us so fun is sure to be had by all. Poor Aunt Genious has no idea what she has gotten herself into though I am sure. McGyver has tried to warn her but she really has no idea that I really do get up at the crack of dawn every day and make a ginormous breakfast, start cracking the whip to get everyone showered, clothed and fed early enough to allow for us to make it to each park's rope drop in the morning. Vacation-mama style-doesn't really include relaxing, sleep filled mornings.

Remember the pics I posted of the Floating playpen? Just wait until I post the pictures of the accomodations we will be staying in on our trip. We have a truck camper that will be home to McGyver, myself and Dreamsicle but we are also pulling down a utility trailer that McGyver has fixed up as his mobile "hunting cabin". There is a set of bunkbeds, a resin table and three chairs, two vertical filing cabinets that he uses to house all of his kitchenware items and clothes, and another cot inside the utility trailer. This will be home to Aunt Genious, U*Haul, Pixie and Lil Pea. X*Boy, Chester and Chester's girlfriend (Belle) ***off the beaten bath for a minute-Chester has a girlfriend whom we all adore. Belle is a hometown girl, shares the same values and seems to truly make Chester happy. She would fit nicely into the McGyver family thankyouverymuch.*** Back on track now-X*Boy, Chester and Belle will be coming down a few days after the rest of us due to Belle's college exam schedule. So excited. Can you tell?

Faith

**Warning-raw emotional post ahead**

I miss my faith. Let me rephrase that-I miss being active in my faith. I certainly still have a relationship with God but I don't have a relationship with a church. When all of the mess took place at the last job I was an employee at I was crushed. Crushed because the person that caused all of the ick proclaimed to be a man of faith. Then I watched him do and say things in a manner that were certainly not Christ like. Fast forward a year and a half and over the course of this time span I have been hit again-with people that profess to love God, to claim to be Christians-only to act in devious, dark ways. And it has left me broken.

I used to be active in my church-then we stopped going. And you know what-we never got a phone call from anyone at the church wondering if we were okay, asking how things were with our family-nothing.

I happened to run into my old pastor at the grocery store the other day-he asked when we were going to come back to church then the next sentence out of his mouth was-if we don't start getting people to come back to church we will have to close our doors by spring, we need money. Ummm, I'm thinking you probably won't see me back in the pews of your church any time soon.

I took Dreamsicle to a new church last Sunday. I don't want her growing up without a church family-I used to be the youth leader of my old church for pete's sake! I have done nothing to introduce Christ to her. That became very apparent when she saw a picture of Jesus and asked me who that guy was. That was my wake up call.

If you read this blog and you are a Christian-please pray for me, for my family-that we find our way back. And in the process of finding our way back, that we are protected from the falsehoods that have been following us.

Weekend Update

Dreamsicle and I attended our first Halloween Hollow event on Saturday. It always surprises me that we live in a very, very small community and yet there are numerous events that I never knew took place in our little neck of the woods. Things like the Farmers Market (just discovered that last year), a business expo and now Halloween Hollow. This was a big deal. One of my besties helps coordinate this event and she shared with me that they had 1300 people in attendance on Saturday. 1300! In our little town! At once!

The event consists of having your child/children dress up in their Halloween costumes and visit scores of characters strategically placed in desirable locations on the riverwalk. This year because of the rain, there were no desirable riverwalk locations to be visited, instead we got to visit the ever so fantastic middle school gym. Can I veer off the topic for a moment and ask why, even when no middle school aged child has been sweating in the gym all day the gym still smells like old gym socks and adolescent sweat? Hmmmm?

Anyway-Dreamsicle dressed up in her fairy costume and happily skipped from character to character (even hugging a few which is a huge thing for us-HUGE!) filling her basket with all sorts of goodies along the way. One of the things that I truly appreciated about this event was that the give aways were not just candy. She loaded up on books and coloring books and toothbrushes and toothpaste, little toys and not so much candy. I am totally in love with this event and can't wait until next year to do it all over again.

Go Glamour

Kudos to Glamour Magazine! The November Glamour magazine issue will kick off their new committment to profiling women of all sizes as well as designers that recognize that women come in all shapes and sizes. I haven't purchased a Glamour magazine since I was in my twenties but I will gladly be throwing my hard earned cash at them now.

Raising boys was relatively easy when it came to giving them a positive sense of self. I never really sweated it with them.

Raising Dreamsicle is a different story. I am going to do all that I can to help her feel confident in the body that she has-my greatest hope is that I will be able to instill a sense of self that will make her feel comfortable in her own skin. A pretty lofty goal in today's society.

I hope that other magazines will jump on board once they see the positive response that Glamour has received since making this announcement. Short or Tall, Thin or Not So Thin, we are all women and should be celebrating each other for who we are, not what we look like. And certainly not judging ourselves by a magazine or a designer's idea of what beauty looks like.

SIDS Awareness Month

March 24, 1987 started out as an ordinary day. I had recently gone back to work after giving birth to Angel Baby and Chester. My morning routine usually consisted of getting myself ready, waking up X*Boy and convincing him to eat a bowl of cereal, then waking up the twins and giving them their morning bottles. I usually alternated between babies each morning-waking Angel Baby up first one morning, then Chester the next morning. On this day it was Chester's turn to be served his bottle first. After getting myself and X*Boy ready, I proceeded to feed Chester. The minute I looked into Angel Baby's crib, I knew something wasn't right. It was by the grace of God that McGyver happened to be home that morning. He was in the Marine Corps back in those days and was usually at work by the time I started our morning routine with the kids. I screamed to McGyver to help me and I watched as he picked up our beautiful little boy, who was limp in his arms. While I called 911 McGyver administered CPR. We both knew it was too late, but had still tried so hard to save him.

The first responders confirmed what we already knew-our precious little boy, identical twin to Chester, had passed away at the age of 3 months and 3 weeks.

Before Angel Baby's death, I knew nothing about SIDS. When the coroner called to tell us Angel Baby's cause of death, I collapsed. How could I, his mommy, not have been able to do something to save my own child? It was like a silent stranger had crept into our home sometime the previous night and stolen our baby from us. Not having an answer as to what causes SIDS ate away at me for years after losing Angel Baby.

Thankfully, the years that have passed have found ways to help minimize the risk of losing a baby to SIDS. Who would have ever thought that something as simple as changing the sleeping position of a baby could reduce the number of SIDS related deaths so dramatically? Placing a baby on his/her back while sleeping is now included in the education of new parents. Keeping an uncluttered crib, free from loose blankets, etc is also key. Simple, easy steps to help parents keep their kids safe.

My heart aches every time I hear of another family that has lost a baby to this dreadful, unexplained phenomenon but my heart leaps every time I hear of another positive finding. Hopefully in the near future no family will have to endure the pain that my family has endured.

October is SIDS awareness month, and I wanted to do my part to help raise that awareness by blogging about it. You can help by educating those that you love.