Friday, March 24, 2006
Brain Freeze
You know how your face feels after your dentist gives you a shot of novacaine? That's kind of how my brain feels right now. I have had severe tantrums on this here blog o' mine plenty of times in the past about the increase in the wait time. Confirmation that referrals have only been given to families with LID's through May 30th has caused me to have brain freeze. I can't cry, I'm so way past anger and frustration right now that I'm not sure what you would call the emotional state that my brain is in right now. I wonder if this is what PTSS feels like. I have asked the people that had been planning our baby showers to please hold off on sending invitations. I don't think I could enjoy myself right now. The worst part is just not knowing when. I have taken myself off of the DTC boards (frankly I think our June DTC board is probably going to implode anyway. I'm very saddened at how there seems to be two factions of people who never agree on anything but that's all I'm going to say about that) and will probably stop visiting the big board as well. I am so gloriously happy for those that have been waiting all of these months that will be receiving their referrals but at the same time I am selfishly sad. Emotionally I am now planning on receiving our referral in August, with travel in October. It will have taken the CCAA 5 months to send referrals for all of the May families and with a late June LID I guess I had better prepare myself for the long haul. Of course this news comes during the week after we sent Chester back to Kentucky and a day before the anniversary of when we lost Angel baby. I think I'm going to just eat my way through this weekend and maybe I'll wake up on Monday able to feel something.
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2 comments:
It will happen...I promise!!! The first May LID's were given out at the end of January, so it's only been 3 months for May. 3 Months for April.... 3 months...but don't you think that's the Oprah factor???? We didn't see it, but I know a lot of people with LID's around us did...
I feel just like you do!!! I've been moping around all day and I feel like crying. And the thought of calling my friends and telling them the baby shower is on indefinite hold is just grim. I feel like someone crushed my spirit today. I know, I'm not helping, but I did want to send you a huge sad hug and tell you that you're not alone.
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