Reality Sets In

So I was so very excited thinking I could pull all of these things together in time to be DTC by the end of April...
Enter reality. I have gathered all of the documents I need to gather, have our 3rd of 4 homestudy visits scheduled for tomorrow, have our 4th homestudy appt scheduled for March 25th where we will go over the rough draft of the homestudy, have our fingerprint appointment on March 26th but then I have to relinquish all control and put myself completely at the mercy of other people. Once we approve the homestudy report our social worker said that she will do everything she can to get our completed report back to us by the middle of April. We can't get our 171 government approval until the social worker sends the homestudy in to the approval agency so we are now looking at not being DTC until May. I'm so bummed. I used to laugh at the people in the adoption chat rooms that said that they would become emotional for no apparent reason just like when you are pregnant. Well, the last laugh is on me. I am an emotional wreck. I know that Koli is in China, and I am praying that she is at least getting her basic needs met. But I want to go get her now! I can't wait to hold that sweet baby in my arms and when I think that we have just really started this process it is enough to make me crazy. I am going to beg and plead with our social worker tomorrow to get her to try to finish our homestudy earlier in April but I'm not sure how successful I will be. I can't even bribe her with cookies since she is on a diet-how do I know this? I already broached the subject with her. So my lil' ole controlling self will have to learn to knit or something. I have thought of beginning a 100 wishes quilt but I know that I will need my mom's help to get that completed (the quilt is made by asking people to pick out a piece of fabric that is meaningful to them-either because it is something that they own,like a piece of an apron or a shirt, or a new piece of fabric that represents something that the person loves. Then they would write their wish on the piece of fabric and send it to me. I would combine all of the fabric wishes into a quilt and it would be Koli's 100 wishes quilt. That actually might be just the ticket to keep me occupied. We will see.